Posts tagged wedding
Three Types of Motivation and Really Helpful Ways to Sustain Them

When you think about types of motivation, often thoughts are about internal and external motivation. Recently, I noticed another way to consider motivation and helpful strategies to sustain them.

Instead of focusing on where motivation comes from, think about how much motivation you need over a specific time. For example, the time and motivation you need to accomplish a single task like responding to an email differ from what’s required to achieve a long-term goal such as organizing an entire home.

With this in mind, let’s look at three types of motivation that are time-based and ways to help you nourish your motivation.

 



3 Types of Motivation with Helpful Ways to Sustain Them

1. Short Motivation Burst

Characteristics:

  • You can accomplish the task with a few simple steps.

  • You can complete the task in less than 30 minutes.

  • You can do the task on your own.

  • The task has few if any obstacles to entry.



Short motivation examples include:

  • Meditating

  • Taking a walk

  • Making a phone call

  • Responding to an email

  • Clearing the dishes from the kitchen sink

  • Putting your laundry in the hamper

  • Decluttering your handbag

  • Sorting today’s mail

In most cases, you need low motivation to complete these activities because they require less energy and have a high satisfaction or “done” rate. If you’re a list maker, you’ll enjoy the endorphin ping you’ll receive when you’re able to quickly check that “one and done” off of your list.

When you struggle with getting motivated, selecting a short motivation burst activity can give you the energy needed to tackle something more extensive.

 

To enhance long-term motivation, gather your support team.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

 

2. Medium Motivation Gallop

Characteristics:

  • You can accomplish the item with multiple steps.

  • You can complete the item over several days or months.

  • You might require help or information from someone.

  • You might encounter some obstacles before or during the process.


Medium motivation examples include:

  • Preparing tax returns

  • Developing a new workshop

  • Organizing a kitchen

  • Writing an article
    Reviewing your financials

  • Editing and re-organizing your filing system

  • Helping your kid pack for college

More motivation and energy are needed to complete these types of projects. You might encounter some emotional or physical challenges along the way or be unsure of your next step. The challenges can result in feeling deflated or de-motivated.

To sustain motivation for the medium motivation projects, spend time gathering your resources, whether physical ones like trash bags, markers, and boxes or emotional ones, like the support of friends, family members, or professional organizers like me.

 


3. Long Motivation Journey

Characteristics:

  • You can accomplish your project with a series of mini goals.

  • You can complete your project over months or a year plus.

  • You will require external support and possibly a team.

  • You will experience obstacles before and during the process.


Long motivation examples include:

Since the long motivation projects happen over an extended time, it can be especially challenging to maintain the energy and motivation needed to bring them to fruition. You will sometimes experience challenges, waning motivation levels, and energy loss.


To sustain your motivation:

  • Break the projects down into doable mini goals

  • Pace yourself, which will reduce burnout

  • Gather your support team

  • Enlist help from accountability and thought partners

  • Share with others what you are working on

  • Gather tools and resources to accomplish what you want in advance

  • Add to your toolbox along the way

  • Keep your eye on the goal, but be flexible with how you get there

As you head for the end goal, focusing on appreciating the journey and the mini successes along the way will enhance your motivation and satisfaction.


Have you considered motivation needs based on time parameters? If so, what has your experience been? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 
3 Hopeful Ideas Motivated Big Changes in My Life Which Can Really Help You Too

It’s fascinating how big changes are made. They start with small, almost unnoticeable habit shifts. On your journey to be free of clutter, you donate a bag of rarely worn clothes or edit and clear the pile of unsorted mail from your kitchen counter. These tiny, single actions can bring about significant changes when consistency and support are added to your effort. 

The other aspect of making meaningful changes is the need for time and mental energy to make them happen. When you’re preoccupied, running as fast as you can to keep up, or emotionally exhausted, change is the last thing on your mind. You can’t stop your life to make a change. Instead, to integrate new habits, it’s essential to create space in your life for prioritizing the change you desire

In the last several years, I’ve experienced many emotional energy pulls. These included taking care of my mom with dementia, saying my final good-byes to her last March, grieving, navigating the pandemic’s effects on my organizing business, and preparing for and having our youngest daughter’s wedding at our home during the pandemic. Despite these emotional highs and lows, I’ve found focused intervals to bring about changes in my life. Admittedly, many of these changes came into being when I had more mental energy to give them.

Coincidentally, the three anchors/words, which rhyme, kept me motivated and focused on my desired changes. They are Zoom, Noom, and Room.

While these specific ideas might not be on your change radar, I encourage you to consider which words are. Which anchors will help you pursue the changes you seek? How will you make the space and time for change to flourish?

 

3 Hopeful Ideas Motivated Big Changes in My Life Which Can Help You Too

1. Zoom

Communication, relationships, and community are some of my treasured values. When the pandemic arrived, many communication networks halted. Most in-person contact was suspended. I couldn’t visit with family, friends, colleagues, or clients. Sure I still had the phone, text, and email, but physical contact was limited and non-existent for extended periods.

Using Zoom became an incredible go-to tool that helped me slowly change and think about how I interacted, did business, and stayed socially active. I’m guessing that many of you are Zoomed-out, but for me, Zoom continues to be a viable way for navigating life and keeping connected with people. 

I embraced communication changes and used Zoom to-

Zoom provided a channel to nurture and develop relationships, shift my organizing business, learn, and teach. While most in-person activities are now possible as many pandemic restrictions lift, Zoom still remains a viable way for me to stay connected. The platform allowed me to be flexible during these last few years, quickly embrace change, and support what I value most.

 

 

2.  Noom

Being healthy is a top priority for me. While I had some healthy practices like meditating daily and eating lots of fruits and vegetables, I wanted to change other habits. For what seems like a bazillion years, one of my goals has been to ‘lose 10 pounds.’ I’ve never been a dieter and didn’t like the idea of going on a diet. Instead, about five years ago, I saw a tremendously helpful nutritionist. She gave me a better understanding of what foods and portions were best for me. Over eight months, I lost 15 pounds. But then, in time, I gained it back and more.  The ongoing support was vital, and the difference was noticeable when I stopped seeing her.

Do you remember how I spoke about having the time and mental energy to bring about change? It takes focused effort to make eating and other lifestyle changes. When my mom died, I was emotionally exhausted. It took me months to get my energy back. When it returned, I felt ready to refocus on my health and make some changes.

In September, I signed up for Noom. It’s a weight loss app with a psychology-based approach to “help you change not just how you eat, but how you think.” It’s well-designed and simple to use. The app with built-in accountability helps me keep daily food logs, understand my calorie budget, track water intake, daily exercise, and weight. You are assigned a personal Coach and receive short articles every day, which encourage, motivate, and explain the psychology of habits.

While I’m still working towards my target goal, in five months, I have lost 18.5 pounds, I’m drinking 9 glasses of water a day, and walking an average of 10,000 steps a day. There have been other changes such as losing many inches around my body, clothing fitting better, feeling more energetic, learning new skills, and knowing I have a doable life-changing plan that’s working.

A bonus surprise was my husband signed up for Noom with me. He’s made incredible changes, and I’m so proud of him. We support one another, which is invaluable.

With any significant life change, it’s essential to have ongoing support, whether an app, person, Coach or all of those. If you’re curious about Noom, click here to learn more.

What do you need to bring about the habit changes you desire?

 

Big changes start with small actions.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

 

3. Room

This last idea is about creating both physical and mental space in your life to feel calm, have room to think, and live with less stress. These changes were worth pursuing, and I have worked years to get there. For me, there is the physical manifestation, which comes in the form of an uncluttered home filled with colors, textures, and scents that soothe and delight. 

One of the goals I worked on last summer into fall, inspired by our vacation staying in a tiny house, was my ‘live with less’ project. While I had lots of stuff, I recognized I didn’t need or want it all. I started randomly going through drawers, closets, and files to let go of unnecessary things. It was cathartic and surprising how much stuff exited. I don’t miss anything.

The other part of ‘room’ is making space for your mental well-being. For me, that’s having quiet time, finding cozy spots to write, journal, or read, spending time in nature, exploring and photographing, meditating, or doing yoga. It’s making room for self-care and carving out time to feed my soul.

Especially with all that has happened in the world and the ongoing challenges, making time to replenish yourself is critical. It’s all too easy to get derailed by a crisis near or far. Our bodies are not designed to sustain continual stress.

What would it take to make room for you? What changes will help make room and space for your physical and emotional well-being?

Big changes start with small actions. What will be your anchors for change? What will provide motivation and support for the changes you desire? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 
7 Valuable Lessons I Learned About Weddings, Hope, & Possibilities
Madison Must Photography

Madison Must Photography

As I sit down to write, thoughts of love, family, and a wedding swirl around my head and heart. Like a dream, I can’t believe that our youngest daughter, Cassie, married Matthew at our home one week ago. They exuded joy and love. We all felt it. By the end of the day, the back of my head ached from smiling so much. It was a good ache. There was so much love, a sense of wonderful possibilities, and hope for the future. Their celebration was a welcome bright spot in the midst of a challenging year.

My husband and I remained in the blissful wedding bubble for as long as we could. At this point, I have mostly returned to regular life. There are still a few flower bouquets reminding me that a wedding really did happen here, and some thank you notes to write. But other than that, my wedding tasks are complete, and the house is back to its pre-party state. What remains is this inner warmth from this significant time, images of tender moments, feelings of calm, and some lessons learned.

 

7 Lessons Learned from The Mother of the Bride

Communication

Shortly after Cassie and Matthew’s engagement last May, we started discussing the wedding. Right away, I realized we had different ideas and expectations. I recognized the importance of being open, listening, and remaining respectful of their wishes. After all, it was their wedding day. They chose to organize and handle most things and delegated some aspects to others, including me. We supported them in any way we could. Often that meant listening or offering ideas when asked. Keeping the lines of communication open was essential. 

 

Flexibility

A valuable life skill when making a wedding, especially during a pandemic, is flexibility. Change was the flavor of the day. The kids made plans and, because of the pandemic, had to alter them more than once. They remained flexible, and so did I. I’ll admit that I’m not naturally flexible and continue to work at it. The pandemic influenced a venue change, the wedding’s scope, the vendors, and the number of guests that could attend. Other changes happened that weren’t pandemic-related but required flexibility. Remaining nimble was a great coping strategy for all of us.

 

Madison Must Photography

Madison Must Photography

Letting Go

As moms, we literally learn to let go from the moment our kids are born. They leave our bodies after being protectively housed for nine months. And that’s just the beginning. As our kids grow, we continue letting go in many ways. It’s useful to exercise those letting go skills when planning a wedding. There are so many things we can’t control. Recognizing that and letting go of control was key for me. It allowed me to worry less and enjoy more. The wedding was outside. Weather is one of the many things we have no control over. Letting go and focusing on the things we have agency over is useful. For example, we ordered a tent with attachable sides, in case it rained. We had control of the tent situation, but not the weather. Luckily, the wedding day was gorgeous. However, the newlyweds’ brunch on the following day was rainy, but the tent sides kept us cozy and dry.

Letting go and focusing on the things we have agency over is useful.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Planning

A lot of thought and organizing went into the wedding weekend. As I mentioned, Cassie and Matthew did all of the event planning. Their Google spreadsheets were amazing! However, my husband, Steve, and I had our lists too. The key was not waiting until the last minute to do things. In the months leading up to the wedding weekend, we made good use of evenings and weekends to prepare the house, clean, edit, organize, and schedule. There’s nothing quite like having a party to motivate you to get things done. I created a master list with separate projects and tasks in each section. Planning and allocating enough time to complete things made it less stressful. It also enabled me to more fully enjoy the process. I also discovered a fun fact. My daughters and I are all list-makers who prefer using a combination of digital and handwritten lists to get things done.

 

Madison Must Photography

Madison Must Photography

Being Present

Days before the wedding, Cassie, Matthew, and our oldest daughter, Allison, arrived. What an incredible feeling to have everyone home! We’ve had very few visitors during the pandemic. I don’t remember the last time our kids were home with us for five days. What a treat! I didn’t want to miss anything. There were times when the girls were off in a corner experimenting with hair and makeup, or Matthew and Steve were in the greenhouse setting up equipment for the ceremony. At those moments, I was an observer, sensing family helping family, hearing laughter, and feeling the warmth of our house full of loved ones. At other times, I was in a doing mode. On Cassie’s wedding day, she asked us to put away our phones. She wanted the wedding photographer to be the only one taking pictures so we could be fully present. How wise. What a gift that was! It made me realize how many being present opportunities there were.

There were many being present opportunities.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Leaning In

There were so many emotions- joy, happiness, excitement, and sadness too. It was an intense variety of feelings. I embraced them all. While I was overjoyed that the parents, one set of grandparents, siblings, and a few of the bride and groom’s friends were with us in person on the wedding day, the rest of our family and friends couldn’t be there because of pandemic restrictions.  For those who couldn't attend in person, they watched the ceremony live on Zoom. I won’t lie. I missed the physical presence of my brothers, sisters, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, and friends. It felt so strange to celebrate a major milestone without them. I recognize that I’m not alone. This year, many people have experienced celebrations differently. With acceptance, I leaned into my conflicting emotions- feeling the joy of being together with the people that could attend and the sadness for those that couldn’t. 

Madison Must Photography

Madison Must Photography

 

Reflecting

When we go through significant life events, it’s important to make time to reflect on our experiences. There were so many memorable moments and feelings that replay in my mind. I know more will continue to appear, but I thought I’d share several with you.

  • Hugging our kids after being physically apart for so long.

  • Hearing the sweet sounds of talking, giggling, and laughter fill our home.

  • Spending time setting up, eating, and walking in the woods with our family and Matthew’s parents and three brothers the day before the wedding. 

  • Experiencing the poignancy of painting Cassie’s finger and toenails the night before her wedding day and remembering how I used to paint her nails when she was little.

  • Watching Allison dote over Cassie during the wedding weekend, as she helped with her hair and makeup, and anything she needed.

  • Seeing my handsome husband all dressed-up as the Father of the Bride.

  • Feeling grateful to meet Matthew’s grandparents and have them with us as they watched their first grandchild marry.

  • Bursting into tears when moments before we walked Cassie down the aisle, I saw my mother, brother, and sister on Zoom waiting to watch the ceremony. I missed them so, yet felt their love and support.

  • Feeling the swell of emotions as Steve and I walked Cassie down the aisle.

  • Watching Matthew’s loving expression and tears as he saw Cassie in her wedding dress for the first time.

  • During the ceremony, seeing Cassie and Matthew hold hands and stare into each other’s eyes as tears streamed down their faces.

  • Feeling grateful for our new, wonderful son.

  • Listening to the beautiful, emotional toast Allison gave to Cassie and Matthew on their wedding day.

  • Seeing the joy between Steve and Cassie during their father/daughter dance.

  • Watching how our beautiful Cassie seemed to float on air the entire day.

  • Sitting down on the sofa with Steve after everyone left, feeling exhausted, elated, and amazed at how quickly the time passed.

  • Feeling grateful for messages of love, good wishes, and support from our family and friends.

  • Realizing that our little girl is all grown up and married.

  • Feeling hope and possibilities for Cassie and Matthew for a life filled with love, connection, and family.

Madison Must Photography

Madison Must Photography

We live in challenging times. Yet even in the darkest of days, there is hope. There is love. There are possibilities. These celebratory days with Cassie and Matthew’s marriage affirmed that light, love, hope, and possibilities are present. Have you recently experienced something in your life that has inspired possibilities for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 
 
How to Find Your Powerful Momentum and Help to Get There
How to Find Your Powerful Momentum and Help to Get There

The most common reason clients ask me for organizing help is they feel overwhelmed or stuck. They have a deep desire to move forward and take action, yet those next steps feel elusive. I love helping them take a deep breath in, exhale out, and discover next. It’s exciting when their energy unleashes, and they take action on what seemed impossible. Once they begin and see progress, momentum takes over. It’s as if a switch gets flipped from “I can’t” to “I’m doing it!”

This past weekend I worked on a project in our greenhouse with my husband. Much like my clients, I felt that same energy surge and momentum they experience when their next step and goal is clear.

Here is what happened.

As some of you already know, our youngest daughter, Cassie, is getting married to Matthew in the fall. The complexities of the pandemic made them alter their wedding plans. They kept their original date but opted for a small wedding at our house instead of the larger celebration at the venue they had reserved. While they are planning and organizing the entire event, there are a few things Steve and I need to do to prepare our home. One of those to-do list items was power washing the greenhouse floor. In the past, we’ve hired someone to do it. This time, however, we decided to buy a machine and clean it ourselves.

 

My husband wasn’t ready to start the project, but he wanted to test the machine to see if it would work. He set it up and began experimenting. Several minutes later, he asked me to check out what was happening. I couldn’t believe how well the power washer worked. And then Steve said those five little words, “Do you want to try it?”  He handed me the wand, and I gave it a go.  That’s when it happened. It was like magic. Within moments, the force of the water pressure removed the dirt and moss from the brick floor. I couldn’t believe my eyes. 

 

When you are stuck, reach out for help.”
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Doing the power washing was a different experience than watching someone else do the work. It was so satisfying to make and see the change happening before my eyes. I was hooked and driven. Momentum took over. Going brick by brick, section by section, I spent the afternoon power washing with Steve. We took turns, although truthfully, I was the power washer hog. While I washed, Steve moved things around to expose other parts of the floor. We helped each other while laughing and smiling as we transformed the space. It was even a bit messy, like how the organizing process can be. But in the end, we had one clean floor.

The takeaway here is that when you are stuck, reach out for help. When your next step and goal gets clarified, you will be unstoppable. Unleash your magic power that comes from taking action.

What positive enlisting help experience have you had? What encouraged you to reach out for help? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation!