What is it about asking for help? Is it something you do readily? Or, do you tend to do or want to do everything yourself? There is no shame in enlisting help. So why do we procrastinate, stress, and delay getting support? As a professional organizer, I am used to receiving calls from overwhelmed folks who want help. I am also a person that at times, struggles to ask for assistance.

This happened recently to me. My mom died in March. While many of the things around her death I completed, I still have a few things to do. One of those tasks is getting her footstone made. I wanted the same company that made my father’s footstone, help make my mom’s. I obsessed about getting the footstone created and installed. I added a task to my list but kept postponing it. Maybe I wasn’t ready. Or, perhaps ordering the footstone made my mom’s death feel more final. I didn’t move forward or ask for help. I stayed stuck.

And then last week, the day arrived. The cue to work on mom’s footstone project appeared on my to-do list again. I pulled out my file, found the name and number of the monument company, picked up the phone, and dialed. Here’s the incredible thing. Within a few minutes, they knew who I was, where my mom was buried and gave me clear next steps for getting the footstone made. A half-hour later, they emailed me all of the details- the quote, forms to complete, and checks to write.

I had been stressed and obsessing for months. By enlisting help from a professional, I was able to take those next steps. Getting the process started was such a huge relief. It felt like a giant weight was lifted. I couldn’t believe how simple it was and how long I had berated myself for not getting help. One phone call yielded such comfort. 

“There is no shame in enlisting help.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

Then it hit me that mine and my clients’ experiences are similar. When potential clients contact me, they often are overwhelmed, stuck, and have felt that way for a long time. They describe reasons they procrastinate about getting help, which include:

• Embarrassed for needing help

• Despair that they feel like a lost cause

• Unsure of who to call

• Frustration that they “should” be able to get organized on their own

They feel their disorganization and situation is impossible. However, when you are willing and ready for change, movement is possible.

“When you are willing and ready for change, movement is possible.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

My clients make positive shifts during their virtual organizing sessions, and it’s a beautiful change to see. I’ve written about this before with the types of transformations they have during a typical one-hour session. Enlisting help is beneficial. Virtual organizing clients might begin their sessions feeling overwhelmed, but the story doesn’t end there. Here are some recent thoughts clients expressed at the end of their sessions:

• “I see the light at the end of the tunnel.” 

• “I know I can do it. I can pair things down.”

•  “It was kind of overwhelming but easier than I thought.”

• “Saying goodbye to the past- it felt good, cathartic.”

• “Amazing. This is such a good feeling.”

•  “My pile of ‘going’ is getting bigger.”

•  “Things feel mentally more manageable.”

•  “This feels so good what we did today. At the beginning of the session, I felt like crying. Now I feel giddy.”

Like my clients, I felt better and moved forward when I sought out help. When was the last time you reached out for support? What did you experience? Was the help you received beneficial? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation. 

There is something so intoxicating about being present and mindful. Yet, it can also be quite elusive. Inner dialogue, activities, and people pulling us in other directions can create a frenzied, chaotic state. When we’re feeling this way, mindfulness is distant. I’ve discovered something in my daily mindfulness meditation practice that is helpful for me, which might benefit you too.

One of the principles of mindfulness practice is to focus your attention on something like breath, sensations, or sounds. This might seem simple to do, but what inevitably happens is that your mind will wander. One moment you are breathing in, breathing out, and noticing the breath. The next minute you’re creating and organizing to-do lists in your head. Oops.

What do you do? Without judgment, you mindfully notice that your focus shifted. Then you gently return back to the breath. No berating, no panic. You just calmly return to the object of your attention. It is in this practice of shifting attention, awareness, and return that we become more mindful. We strengthen these muscles, which can be used in other areas of our lives.

“It is in the practice of shifting attention, awareness, and return that we become more mindful.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Recently, I spent time outside doing yard work and trimming shrubs. On this crisp fall day, it felt energizing working outdoors. As I cut and cleaned up debris, I focused only on what was before me. It was so enjoyable to move, hear the rustle of the leaves, the chirping of the birds, and the snip, snip sound of my cutters. I clipped, observed, assessed, and cut some more. I didn’t rush. 

It was satisfying to see the results. While there were many other things I could have been doing, I allowed myself this focused time of mindfulness, presence, and gratitude to work outside doing one cut, one shrub, one mindful action at a time.

Where does mindful attention show up for you? How do you handle distractions? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation!

The most common reason clients ask me for organizing help is they feel overwhelmed or stuck. They have a deep desire to move forward and take action, yet those next steps feel elusive. I love helping them take a deep breath in, exhale out, and discover next. It’s exciting when their energy unleashes, and they take action on what seemed impossible. Once they begin and see progress, momentum takes over. It’s as if a switch gets flipped from “I can’t” to “I’m doing it!”

This past weekend I worked on a project in our greenhouse with my husband. Much like my clients, I felt that same energy surge and momentum they experience when their next step and goal is clear.

Here is what happened.

As some of you already know, our youngest daughter, Cassie, is getting married to Matthew in the fall. The complexities of the pandemic made them alter their wedding plans. They kept their original date but opted for a small wedding at our house instead of the larger celebration at the venue they had reserved. While they are planning and organizing the entire event, there are a few things Steve and I need to do to prepare our home. One of those to-do list items was power washing the greenhouse floor. In the past, we’ve hired someone to do it. This time, however, we decided to buy a machine and clean it ourselves.

My husband wasn’t ready to start the project, but he wanted to test the machine to see if it would work. He set it up and began experimenting. Several minutes later, he asked me to check out what was happening. I couldn’t believe how well the power washer worked. And then Steve said those five little words, “Do you want to try it?”  He handed me the wand, and I gave it a go.  That’s when it happened. It was like magic. Within moments, the force of the water pressure removed the dirt and moss from the brick floor. I couldn’t believe my eyes. 

“When you are stuck, reach out for help.””

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Doing the power washing was a different experience than watching someone else do the work. It was so satisfying to make and see the change happening before my eyes. I was hooked and driven. Momentum took over. Going brick by brick, section by section, I spent the afternoon power washing with Steve. We took turns, although truthfully, I was the power washer hog. While I washed, Steve moved things around to expose other parts of the floor. We helped each other while laughing and smiling as we transformed the space. It was even a bit messy, like how the organizing process can be. But in the end, we had one clean floor.

The takeaway here is that when you are stuck, reach out for help. When your next step and goal gets clarified, you will be unstoppable. Unleash your magic power that comes from taking action.

What positive enlisting help experience have you had? What encouraged you to reach out for help? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation!