There are times when you’re in a state of flow. You work almost effortlessly on your projects and goals. You lose track of time and are in that creative, exciting phase. At other times, you’re not just stuck but overwhelmed. It feels impossible to move forward and determine your next step. The deluge is heavy, like a huge weight pressing down on you. The list of what needs accomplishing seems so large that it interferes with your focus and motivation. Instead of moving forward, you procrastinate, engage in distractions, or do nothing. Do any of these scenarios sound familiar?

Being overwhelmed is the number one reason my clients contact me for help. Organizing their space, time, or stuff can seem insurmountable. We work together with the big picture in mind, approaching it one small step at a time. And you know what? When we do that, we break through the overwhelm barrier and make progress.

My clients aren’t the only ones who get inundated. It happens to me too. I recognized that something had felt off for me this winter. It hasn’t been a typical season in the Hudson Valley. We barely had any snow, which disturbed my sense of balance and seasonal cycles.

Recently, I came across an image and phrase that resonated with me. An author described the feeling of a winter’s snow and wrote, “the quiet is even quieter.” When I read that, I recognized it was what I’d been missing. It’s not that it’s loud where I live. However, a significant snowfall covering the woods with a thick white blanket creates calm, silence, and that long pause. Things stop.

That unique winter quiet settles my mind as a deep, luxurious exhale. The silence helps me reset. Guess what happened? Last week, we finally got substantial snow. I was so excited when I woke up with the backwoods covered in white. I felt lighter, with a positive shift in my energy and mood. The frosted, peaceful landscape reduced my overwhelm and opened my mind enough to figure out what to do next.

A Simple Path Forward

After enjoying my breakfast and sipping my hot mug of coffee, I had an idea for encouraging forward movement. Using a low-tech solution, I grabbed a piece of paper and some pens to make a chart. It took about 10 minutes to create. I listed my upcoming projects for the next several months. It included project names, due dates, brief notes, and the next step for each project. It felt good to get them on paper and out of my head. I experienced an immediate sense of relief seeing this high-level view on a single sheet of paper. But the most significant benefit was the next step column. Rather than listing the bazillion tasks for each project, I listed only one tiny thing to focus on.

This simple exercise propelled me forward. Within a few days, I completed one of the projects. Now I have my roadmap with clear instructions of what to do next for the others.

“Consider the big picture, yet approach it one small step at a time.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

I recognize how the snowfall helped me overcome my overwhelm and inspired the chart. However, snowstorm or not, you can use this helpful tool anytime you feel overwhelmed. There are moments when it’s beneficial to do an entire brain dump of all tasks, steps, projects, and thoughts. However, that doesn’t always work when you’re upset. Doing a total brain download can intensify those feelings. When that’s the situation, consider my ‘next-step’ approach instead.

What helps you figure out next when you’re overwhelmed? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

What is it about asking for help? Is it something you do readily? Or, do you tend to do or want to do everything yourself? There is no shame in enlisting help. So why do we procrastinate, stress, and delay getting support? As a professional organizer, I am used to receiving calls from overwhelmed folks who want help. I am also a person that at times, struggles to ask for assistance.

This happened recently to me. My mom died in March. While many of the things around her death I completed, I still have a few things to do. One of those tasks is getting her footstone made. I wanted the same company that made my father’s footstone, help make my mom’s. I obsessed about getting the footstone created and installed. I added a task to my list but kept postponing it. Maybe I wasn’t ready. Or, perhaps ordering the footstone made my mom’s death feel more final. I didn’t move forward or ask for help. I stayed stuck.

And then last week, the day arrived. The cue to work on mom’s footstone project appeared on my to-do list again. I pulled out my file, found the name and number of the monument company, picked up the phone, and dialed. Here’s the incredible thing. Within a few minutes, they knew who I was, where my mom was buried and gave me clear next steps for getting the footstone made. A half-hour later, they emailed me all of the details- the quote, forms to complete, and checks to write.

I had been stressed and obsessing for months. By enlisting help from a professional, I was able to take those next steps. Getting the process started was such a huge relief. It felt like a giant weight was lifted. I couldn’t believe how simple it was and how long I had berated myself for not getting help. One phone call yielded such comfort. 

“There is no shame in enlisting help.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

Then it hit me that mine and my clients’ experiences are similar. When potential clients contact me, they often are overwhelmed, stuck, and have felt that way for a long time. They describe reasons they procrastinate about getting help, which include:

• Embarrassed for needing help

• Despair that they feel like a lost cause

• Unsure of who to call

• Frustration that they “should” be able to get organized on their own

They feel their disorganization and situation is impossible. However, when you are willing and ready for change, movement is possible.

“When you are willing and ready for change, movement is possible.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

My clients make positive shifts during their virtual organizing sessions, and it’s a beautiful change to see. I’ve written about this before with the types of transformations they have during a typical one-hour session. Enlisting help is beneficial. Virtual organizing clients might begin their sessions feeling overwhelmed, but the story doesn’t end there. Here are some recent thoughts clients expressed at the end of their sessions:

• “I see the light at the end of the tunnel.” 

• “I know I can do it. I can pair things down.”

•  “It was kind of overwhelming but easier than I thought.”

• “Saying goodbye to the past- it felt good, cathartic.”

• “Amazing. This is such a good feeling.”

•  “My pile of ‘going’ is getting bigger.”

•  “Things feel mentally more manageable.”

•  “This feels so good what we did today. At the beginning of the session, I felt like crying. Now I feel giddy.”

Like my clients, I felt better and moved forward when I sought out help. When was the last time you reached out for support? What did you experience? Was the help you received beneficial? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation. 

When we think about how we spend our time, we often associate feelings with describing them further. For instance, we might think about being with the family at the beach as a happy time or a time when a loved one died as heart-wrenching. However, time is not only a container that includes appointments, events, and milestones, but it also is flavored by the emotions that arise. Lately, I am more aware of the connection between what happens at a given period and the feelings that accompany them.

Why does this matter? By making the connection, we can better understand why we are motivated to engage in certain activities yet procrastinate with others. This can help us to get unstuck or extend some grace when we need it most. Our emotions are clues to our inner experience. We might not always have the words to describe what we’re feeling. Instead, we can notice sensations in the body like tightness in the shoulders, a clenched jaw, or butterflies in the belly. These sensations indicate how you are feeling at that moment in time. 

4 Lessons I Learned About Time and Feelings

Feeling Late

You’re right. Late isn’t an emotion. But that uncomfortable feeling I experience with being late is. Due to a series of events and happenings, my blog post is going live today, a Wednesday, instead of the typical Sunday. I could have skipped this week, but I won’t be able to post next week. So, I decided to break from my pattern and just go for it, even though it’s late. But you know what? I’m doing it, but it feels strange. I prefer being punctual and consistent.

My lesson learned:  Stretch outside of my comfort zone. While I regularly post on the same day each week, it’s OK to make an occasional exception to my own rule. That’s being flexible.

Feeling Anxious

Life is opening up again after a year of lockdowns, restrictions, and closings. This is a positive development on all fronts. However, the speed at which things are reopening has created some discomfort. Some of us are ready to do everything at full throttle, while others (like me) feel more cautious. I’m experiencing so many firsts all at once. They include having the annual doctor visits I missed last year, staying in a hotel, eating in a restaurant, being mask-less in public, and entertaining people IRL (in real life!) These were accompanied by trepidation and anxiety.

My lesson learned: Doing something for the first time or the first time in a long time can feel scary and anxiety-producing. However, I survived, and the next time will be so much easier.

“Time is not only a container that includes appointments, events, and milestones, but it also is flavored by the emotions that arise.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

Feeling Relaxed

My husband gifted me a kayaking date as my Mother’s Day present. I love kayaking, and he knows it! What a wonderful feeling to be on the Croton River with the bright sun, warm air, and soothing water. While there is paddling involved, I also spent time in the kayak just floating. It was during the non-paddling time that I felt especially relaxed. I wasn’t trying to get anywhere or exert physical energy. I simply glided gently along the water.

My lesson learned: Even during exertion, you can find relaxation. It’s there in the stillness and the pause.

Feeling Excited

Other than taking a walk around the house or block, many of us stayed put last year- no traveling, overnights, or day trips. We kept close to home with a few exceptions. While I’m not ready to get on an airplane or use public transportation, I am looking forward to some car trips. This summer, we scheduled some vacation time. It’s with excited anticipation that I’ll have time with family and friends at beaches, rivers, mountains, and cities.

I’m looking forward to exploring new and familiar places, face-to-face conversations, and all of the hugs.

My lesson learned: There is gratitude in waiting. Missing provides an opening to be thankful for the people and places I so sorely missed.

Have you noticed a connection between your time and emotions? Do any of these resonate with you, or have you discovered other patterns? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

There are numerous ways to describe our experience of time. We talk about wasting, spending, or investing time. We ponder the ways time moves slowly or quickly, depending on the situation. We think about not having enough time in the day or having too much time on our hands.  We consider the length of time projects take or procrastinate with the time we have. Yet, we know that every person has the same 24 hours each day to manage and live life.

With our time, we do all kinds of things like working, playing, sleeping, relaxing, stressing, organizing, traveling, relationship-building, meditating, gardening, walking, running, dancing, learning, loving, reflecting, worrying, creating, driving, eating, connecting, talking, writing, emailing, Zooming, and many other “ings.”

I came across a quote by Atomic Habits author, James Clear, who offers a direct perspective about time. He said, “Your life is purchased by where you spend your attention.”  How powerful is that? 

“Your life is purchased by where you spend your attention.”

— James Clear

When you look at where your time and attention go, it tells the story of your life. Where do you invest? If you did a time audit for the week and noted what you do each hour, what would you discover? For many of us, approximately one-third of our time is spent sleeping. What about the other two-thirds? There are a million discoveries to make by analyzing where your attention goes. You might be surprised.

Why does this matter? If you want more or less of something in your life, doing a time audit can help you figure out how to make a change. For example, if you feel overwhelmed by clutter, a time audit could help you understand why the clutter is stuck. Perhaps you have included worrying, but not actual decluttering into your days.

“Every person has the same 24 hours each day to manage and live life.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

One of the things I admire so much about my virtual organizing clients is their dedication to change. Each week they intentionally invest time with their organizing goals through our sessions and the independent work they do on their own. They are shifting their attention from collecting and piling to letting go and organizing.

What will your time audit reveal? Even if your balance is the way you want, an audit can still be illuminating. It gives you the confidence to keep doing what you are doing. But if things are not as you desire, do some investigating. I’m excited about the discoveries you will make. I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.