Posts tagged husband
How a Helpful Productivity Reframe Makes More Time for Fun

There’s nothing wrong with being productive. However, life can be stressful if your focus rests solely on to-do lists, getting things done, and making every minute count. You might find it surprising to hear this from a professional organizer. But guess what? Everyone needs time to relax, not be scheduled, and have fun.

Some time ago, one of my clients emailed me an article from The New York Times by Melissa Kirsch, titled “Satisfying vs. Productive.” In it, Kirsch made a distinction between the two concepts. She said that “A productive day implies a day in which you got some things done, a certain degree of industry. Whereas a satisfying day might be one in which you didn’t necessarily do very much at all, but the contents of the day seem totally appropriate given any number of factors…”

Kirsch presented the idea that instead of criticizing yourself for what didn’t get done, you should make time upfront to be more intentional. She suggested setting your day up for success by asking, “What would constitute a satisfying day today?” Think about how you want to feel by the end of the day. What needs to happen (to do or not do) to get there?

 

 

The “Satisfying” Perspective

As someone who enjoys being productive, I also value a day that isn’t solely focused on crossing items off my list. Using the “satisfying” lens to reframe the intent of certain days boosts my joy factor and removes the guilt and pressure to produce.

By letting go of my to-dos, I can fully embrace how a day unfolds. The day’s intent might be to have fun or relax. It could involve exploring or wandering. But what the day isn’t is being list or task-driven.

 

 

A Perspective Experiment

Recently, I had a chance to experiment with this idea. We took a few days off and put work on hold. During our trip, we did some planned and unplanned things.

One of the impromptu activities was visiting Knoebels, an amusement park. It was so much fun exploring a new place, going on rides, and indulging in good eats. Have you ever had a Belgian waffle ice cream sandwich filled with chocolate peanut butter ice cream? It was delicious!

I digress. My husband loves riding roller coasters, while I prefer the less thrilling rides. I happily waited while he enjoyed the scary attractions. Then he joined me on the gentler ones, like the Ferris wheel and carousel. I love the movement of the carousel—going up, down, round and round with no destination in sight. No worries, just pure delight.

Aside from unpacking, no productivity tasks or thoughts were on my mind when we returned home. Without a doubt, the day and our trip had been soul-nurturing, satisfying, and fun.

I was happy about my response to Kirsch’s question, “What would constitute a satisfying day today?” For me, it had been setting aside the list, doing something spontaneous, and having fun!

What would constitute a satisfying day today?
— Melissa Kirsch

What Does Your Day Look?

Productivity isn’t a dirty word. However, when you start to view productivity as satisfying, it can have a positive effect on your experience. What does a productive day look like for you? Is it the same as or different from a satisfying one?  

I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 

  

How Can I Help?

Do you need support with organizing, editing, or managing your time? I’d love to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – Local feel with a global reach.

Making your days intentional and satisfying is possible, especially with support.

 
 
One Effective Strategy to Easily Calm Your Mind Clutter

Does this sound familiar? Your mind is filled with a running list of tasks, places to visit, and projects to start (or finish). The thoughts swirling in your brain feel like one giant, cluttered mess.

It can be more challenging to concentrate, take action, or make progress because your ponderings are caught in thought loops. Simply thinking about the possibilities can leave you feeling anxious, exhausted, or demotivated.

Guess what? I’ve been there, too. It’s not that I don’t have task lists to manage, because I do. However, those tasks and events have already been prioritized, planned, and accounted for. They aren’t the issue, but the unaccounted-for ones are. Many of those items require coordination with my husband, Steve.

To clear my mind clutter, I engaged in a helpful process that I will share with you. If your cluttered thoughts have nowhere to go, I encourage you to experiment with this strategy.

 

The Process to Calm Mind Clutter

Step 1: Activate the Process

  • This may seem obvious, but the first step is to schedule a time to actively work on clearing your mind clutter. This intentional act will help you move in a productive direction.

  • Choose a time when you’re at your best. Steve and I decided to meet on a weekend morning after breakfast when we felt alert and well-rested.

 

Step 2: Do a Brain Download

  • Release your thoughts, which will immediately clear your mind clutter. This clearing is analogous to decluttering a kitchen counter or editing an overflowing basket of magazines. Relief is felt as space opens up.

  • The brain download can take many forms. Your capture tool can be analog, digital, or auditory. I used a blank piece of paper, which I titled “Planning with Steve.”

  • Create categories if it’s helpful. I separated the page into four columns, each representing a different category: Papers/Logging, Fun, Home, and Financial.

  • Populate your capture tool. As soon as a thought surfaced, we categorized and added it to the corresponding column. For example, “Visit the New York Botanical Garden went into the Fun category. “Clear out the garage” was added to the Home column.

 

Step 3: Prioritize

  • Your capture tool is probably quite full now. You might feel overwhelmed, as in, “How am I going to get it all done?” You can accomplish everything, but not all at once.

  • Prioritizing comes next. Instead of planning every single thing you captured, select the top three or four things you want to focus on first.

  • There is no right or wrong way to prioritize. For example, your priorities could be time-based if something has a specific deadline, or preference-based, as in what you’d like to accomplish or do first. We opted to prioritize several things from the Fun and Home categories.

 

Step 4: Commit

  • Commitment is the powerhouse of the mind decluttering strategy. It is essential and is often neglected. Overlooking this aspect can make Steps 1-3 ineffective.

  • Have your calendar ready.

  • Choose one of the priorities you identified.

  • Schedule a time block or blocks for that priority. We began by scheduling dates from the Fun category and then added a few projects from the Home category.

  • Repeat choosing and scheduling until those three or four top priorities are blocked out on your calendar.

  • We found it less overwhelming to focus on and schedule only the top few priorities. We will revisit this process and repeat Steps 3 and 4 once we have made progress on our initial priorities.

  • As an alternate approach, you may prefer to schedule everything from your brain download list in one sitting.

Commitment is the powerhouse of the mind decluttering strategy.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

The Benefits of Mind Decluttering

There are many benefits to clearing mind clutter. Here are some of the positives I experienced using this process:

  • My mind feels clearer.

  • While we utilized a team approach for mind decluttering, I also see value in using this strategy individually.

  • The unproductive thought loops have ceased.

  • That anxious feeling has dissipated.

  • I feel less burdened by the projects and events because they now have a designated slot for attending to them.

  • I am excited because we have set aside time to focus on things that are important to us.

  • I feel confident that we will complete the tasks we prioritized.

  • I am glad that projects that have been incomplete for a long time will now be brought to completion.

  • I have happy anticipation about the fun things we’ve scheduled.

  

What Helps You Release Mind Clutter?

There are many ways to ease mind clutter, including the strategy I shared. What helps you declutter your mind? In what ways could the process I described be beneficial to you?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 

 

 

How Can I Help?

Do you need support with organizing, editing, or decluttering your thoughts? I’d love to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – Local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Living clutter-free is possible, especially with support.

 
 
3 Ways to Take a Slow Exhale & Refocus Energy for a New Fresh Start

Are you feeling exhausted after meeting a deadline or finishing a project? While hyper-drive may be necessary to reach completion, downshifting is essential afterward.

Over the past month, I worked hard on the chapter I wrote for the new ICD (Institute for Challenging Disorganization) book to meet their short, time-sensitive deadline. I am excited to have written the chapter on client support and look forward to sharing more once it is published later this year.

How does this relate to fresh starts? The writing deadline straddled the end of one year and the beginning of another. The time I typically take to wrap things up and reimagine what’s next was allocated to the book project. Instead of slowing down as the year closed, things sped up and kept going until earlier this week when I submitted my draft.

Completing the deadline helped reaffirm the necessity of taking a moment to breathe. This slow exhalation is the break I need to refocus my energy and plan what comes next. I identified several elements that I hope you’ll find helpful the next time you are about to switch gears.

 

 



3 Ways to Exhale & Refocus Your Energy

1. Reflect

Doing a post-deadline debrief, thinking about how I approached the book project and what I learned, was valuable and affirming.

These are some reflections:

  • Clarified the chapter’s content and description with the committee

  • Made time estimates for how long it would take to write the chapter

  • Scheduled writing blocks on my calendar

  • Said “no” to things that would distract from my objectives

  • Remained flexible with scheduling and idea development

  • Developed an outline of topics to cover

  • Made a plan for how to approach the various sections

  • Hired an accountability partner (thank you, Lana) to keep me on track

  • Set weekly goals

  • Logged hours and other metrics

  • Journaled

Another aspect I noticed was how my weekly blog writing routine prepared me for this project. My well-established writing tools and rituals made writing easier during the scheduled “ICD Book Project” writing blocks. When things didn’t go well during a particular block, I wasn’t discouraged, as I knew it was a normal part of the writing. I had built up resiliency through experiencing similar ups and downs with blogging.

Hiring an accountability partner was incredibly beneficial for the book project, especially because of the tight deadline. It was also fascinating to experience and fully appreciate the benefits from the “lived” perspective. While I have received a lot of positive feedback from my clients, I better understand why they say having me as their accountability partner is helpful. I get it.

 

 

2. Sense

I just finished reading a wonderful book How to Winter, by Kari Leibowitz, PhD. I highly recommend it, especially if you’re interested in the far-reaching benefits of developing a “positive wintertime mindset.”

One of the things that she wrote about was how to develop an awareness of those things you love about winter, like:

  • the “fresh” smell of the air that slow-moving molecules create

  • the cozy warmth of being around a firepit

  • the delight of sipping hot cocoa with marshmallows or

  • the happy sensation of curling up with a warm blanket and book

While I engage regularly with my senses, I noticed how they were heightened during this transition time because I was reading Leibowitz’s book. When I was outside, instead of thinking about how cold I was, I breathed in the crisp air and appreciated the cyclical nature of the dormant, bare trees. Instead of feeling guilty for wanting to go to bed earlier, I recognized the value of rest and delighted in the visceral calming effects of my bedtime rituals.

Appreciating and sensing is a gentle way to experience presence and gratitude for what is here now. Lingering in this presence through my senses removes concern about what will be next and helps replenish my energy.

Of all things, as if on cue, the snow just started falling. At first, the flakes were sparse and descended slowly. Then, the flow and pace increased as the sky and landscape turned white. We’re expecting five to seven inches of snow over the following hours. I’m so excited! Perhaps there will be some hot cocoa in my future. A white covering will soon transform everything. Talk about a clean slate! It’s the perfect visual to encourage a fresh start.

 

While hyper-drive may be necessary to reach completion, downshifting is essential afterward.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

3. Nourish

Engaging in nourishing activities that support your well-being is another way to slow down and refocus your energy. When you have exerted a lot of effort, balancing it with restorative practices is vital.

My supportive activities include meditation, yoga, walking, and journaling. There are others, too, like exploring new places, seeing friends and family, watching movies, eating healthfully, or getting enough sleep.

And then there’s soup—yes, soup! Making and eating soup is a thoroughly enriching activity for me. I love washing and chopping ingredients, adding them to the big pot, and creating a delicious meal with a few simple, fresh items.

After hours of simmering, my husband and I will share this hot meal as we look out the dining room window into the chilly night, watching the snow gently fall. Maybe we’ll even eat by candlelight. If that’s not cozy and nourishing, I don’t know what is.

What helps you slow down and restore energy? How can taking a restorative break energize your fresh start? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 

 

How Can I Help?

Do you want support organizing, planning, or restoring energy? I’d love to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Change is possible, especially with support.

 
 
How to Easily Reduce Holiday Stress by Enjoying Scruffy Hospitality

Do you feel more stressed during the holiday season? What is the source? Holiday-related stress might revolve around travel planning, gift-giving, card-writing, decorating, over-committing, or entertaining.

As someone who enjoys and has hosted many gatherings, I continually work on reducing stress. Experience helps. The more I do something, the easier and less stressful it becomes, and the better I am at planning and navigating surprises. However, a more significant aspect is mindset. If I keep telling myself how stressed I am, what happens? I reinforce that feeling.

 

What is Scruffy Hospitality?

Recently, I heard about “scruffy hospitality,” which is a more relaxed approach to entertaining. It’s a practice and also a mindset. The idea is to prioritize connection and conversation over obsession with creating picture-perfect environments and Instagram-worthy meals. The concept includes having people over without cleaning up first and approaching food more simply. Instead of making elaborate dishes, ‘scruffy’ entertaining loves potlucks, leftovers, and takeout.

While “scruffy hospitality” was coined a decade ago by Jack King, an Anglican priest from Tennessee, it has received more attention in the last few years. It rejects unrealistic social media standards that create pressure on us to be “perfect hosts.” Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity. These involve letting go.

For this holiday season, especially if you’re stressed, I encourage you to incorporate some ‘scruffy’ into your life. It will look different for each person. Consider how beneficial scruffy hospitality could be for reducing your stress.

As a seasoned host, ‘scruffy’ isn’t a term I naturally associate with entertaining. I like to clean and prepare. Don’t get me started on my to-do lists. I enjoy the visual aspect of decorating the tables, arranging flowers, and creating colorfully plated dishes. Those aspects aren’t stressful for me. However, those and other aspects of entertaining might be stressful for you. And if it is, some of the suggestions below can help.

 

 

11 Ways to Reduce Holiday Stress by Embracing Scruffy Hospitality

  • Reframe Clean – Do a quick clean instead of a deep one. Or hire someone else to clean.

  • Organize LessDeclutter the dining room only, leaving all other areas in their ‘as is’ state.

  • Recruit Help – Ask guests to bring parts of the meal.

  • Minimize Decor – There is no need to go wild. A single plant, a small vase of flowers, a bowl of fruit, or an arrangement of gourds is a minimalist way to decorate a table. You can also leave things bare.

  • Be Present – Cook with your guests instead of preparing things in advance.

  • Try Self-Serve – Set up your food buffet-style rather than as a plated, sit-down meal.

  • Don’t Cook – Forget about cooking anything. Purchase the entire meal or a few dishes.

  • Do Less - Simplify your menu with fewer choices or prepare dishes requiring minimal ingredients.

  • Dress Down – Be comfortable and show up as you are. No fancy clothes are required.

  • Reduce Scope – Fewer guests can make the gathering more manageable. Dial down your invite list to reflect your ideal number of guests.

  • Simplify Gift Giving – Focus on clutter-less gifts for you and the recipients. Give meaningful time-centered gifts like movie tickets, museum passes, or personal care services.

 

Scruffy hospitality is a nod to embracing imperfection and authenticity.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

How I’m Incorporating Scruffy Hospitality This Season

One thing I decided to do differently this year is not to bake the apple and pumpkin pies. Instead, our daughter generously offered to make pies. While I’ve always baked, removing the pie-baking task frees up some time and reduces stress around coordinating kitchen usage with my husband. We share cooking for Thanksgiving and work around each other’s schedules and tasks. No pie baking this year means I’ll eliminate the stress of negotiating for counter, oven, and refrigerator space.

The other area where ‘scruffy’ applies is the number of guests. We love having a houseful of family and friends for the holidays. However, some guests have health issues or scheduling conflicts this year. While we’ll miss them greatly on Thanksgiving, fewer guests give me more time to talk with people. Managing the flow of the space is less stressful with fewer people, too.

 

Human-Considered Holidays

The holidays don’t have to be stressful. There are many ways to increase joy and minimize stress. How can you relax your approach to holiday hospitality? What will help you make it more joy-filled and less stressful? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Do you want help decluttering, organizing, brainstorming, or planning? Do you need an accountability partner? I’m here for you. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward - A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.