Posts tagged relationships
How to Let Go of What's in Your Way to Joyfully Embrace the Good Stuff

What are you holding onto that’s getting in your way? Are there physical things, like clothing that no longer fits, stacks of magazines you’ll never read, or expired food and medicine? Are there habits that don’t serve you, such as not getting enough sleep, doomscrolling on your devices, or acquiring things without ever editing them? Are there behaviors that create more stress, such as constantly berating yourself, ruminating on interactions, or not taking time for play or joy?

Are these things holding you back from living the life you want? Do you want more calm, joy, or ease?

What happens, though, when you begin to let go of clutter and the things that create blockages and stress? What happens when you approach them in a new way? It’s not that challenges won’t appear or that stress triggers will disappear. However, when you begin to work with them differently and let go, you will have more bandwidth to embrace the good stuff.

 

 

 

A Tiny Shifts Learning Journey

21 Days

For the past few months, I’ve been learning from clinical psychologist and author Dr. Elisha Goldstein. Although he’s been on my radar for years, I signed up for a 21-Day Tiny Shifts Experience in January.

The program featured short, daily practices designed to help you better manage stress by supporting your nervous system. By the end of the course, I was better able to regulate my emotions through simple, intentional breathing practices.

 

 

6 Weeks

The experience was so wonderful that I wanted to learn more. Next, I registered for Elisha’s 6-Week Tiny Shifts Emotional Longevity course. It included two live sessions each week: one led by Elisha and the other an Integration Lab led by mindfulness teacher Susan Beckman Reagan.

There were simple, doable practices to work on between sessions, along with a virtual platform for communication. We learned more about emotional loops, supporting the nervous system, and the 4Rs: Recognize, Release, Refocus, and Reinforce.

 

 

The Book

Simultaneously, Elisha released his new book, Tiny Shifts – How Emotional Health Transforms Stress, Relationships, and Longevity. While I was taking the courses, I read it, which helped me better assimilate what I was learning.

Elisha says, “Real change doesn’t come from doing more. Feel free to let go of that burden. It comes from shifting how we relate to what’s already here-one tiny emotional pivot at a time.”

If you haven’t read Tiny Shifts yet, I highly recommend it. Elisha presents his research-backed, doable strategies clearly and compassionately while sharing captivating stories.

 

 

The Retreat

The next part of my learning journey took place last weekend. Elisha offered a three-day Emotional Longevity Retreat at Kripalu in the Berkshires. It was especially meaningful to attend in person, since the previous courses were online. My husband, Steve, went, too.

What I had learned before was clarified or reinforced during the retreat. It was an emotional weekend—lots of crying, smiling, laughing, meditating, and pausing. While the strategies are simple, applying them in the moment takes practice. I’m still working on it and remain hopeful. I can see my progress.

 

 

What would it feel like to let go and embrace more joy and ease in your life?
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

 

 

Embracing the Good Stuff

In these chaotic, uncertain times, there is no shortage of things beyond our control or that make us anxious. We can dwell there or let go. Elisha’s practices help tremendously with letting go. When you do, you will have more capacity to

  • Embrace joy, play, fun, and quiet.

  • Be present and available for the people and relationships in your life.

  • Have more ease.

  • Regroup more quickly from stressful situations.

  • Engage in better self-care and compassion.

  • Release the things, thoughts, habits, and behaviors that no longer serve you.

  • Be available for all the good stuff in your life.

What does the “good stuff” look like to you? A few years ago, I created my own list, which you can find here: Are You Making Time for ‘The Good Stuff?’ What’s one thing on your list?

 

  

 

 

Letting Go to Live with More Joy and Ease

What are you holding on to that causes you stress? What is keeping you from moving forward? What would it feel like to let go and embrace more joy and ease in your life?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 

 

 

 

How Can I Help?

Do you feel overwhelmed or disorganized? Do you want to let go of what’s holding you back but feel stuck or unsure where to start? I’m here to help! You don’t have to do this alone. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – Local feel with a global reach.

Let’s connect! I’m easy to reach.

Letting go, getting organized, and living with more ease are possible, especially with support.

 
 
What If Your Next Step Developed a New Habit to Hopefully Transform Your Life?

Are there times when figuring out your next step is challenging? Maybe you need more information, fear making mistakes, or feel overwhelmed with decision-making.

If the next step is a one-and-done task, it can seem more manageable. However, the next step can feel elusive and unclear when working on a long-term project or making a significant life change.

There are many ways to approach finding next, which I’ve written a lot about. Some of these ideas to get unstuck and determine what’s next included:

Recently, I discovered an inspired question, which approaches next in a refreshing way.

 

 

Making Next Transformational

In James Clear’s “3-2-1 Thursday” newsletter, he posed this thought-provoking question:

“What single habit if implemented consistently for the rest of this year, would transform your life the most?”

I love this question for three reasons:

Reason 1. The query focuses your attention to developing just one new habit. Most of us tend to take on too much at once, making it difficult to make progress on anything.

Reason 2. The question encourages you to consider which habit change would have the most impact. You are investing your time in doing something different. Selecting the habit that will be most transformative will give you the most for your efforts.

Reason 3. The ask supports consistent, small efforts that will result in monumental, positive change over a specific, doable time frame, “rest of this year.”

What single habit if implemented consistently for the rest of this year, would transform your life the most?
— James Clear

What Will You Invite In?

Let’s remember and imagine.

Remember - Think about a time you successfully developed a new habit. What did you learn from that experience? Is it a habit you still engage in? What positive affect resulted?

Imagine - Future think to the end of this year. What positive change happened as a result of your consistent habit? Which area of your life did it affect? Was it related to your relationships, finances, health, work, home, personal development, or another category?

As you consider what new habit to adopt, remember that your future self will thank you.

One Significant Habit Change

I’ve changed many habits in my life, including my reading habits. I love reading and typically do so at night before bed. However, that’s also when I’m most tired. When I’m sleepy, I read more slowly, read fewer pages because I drift off, and don’t retain the material as well.

One morning, after meditating, I changed things up and read before getting out of bed. I was motivated to finish the book, which I had almost completed the night before. Reading while fully awake was such an uplifting experience that I integrated this new habit into my morning routine.

It’s been amazing! Not only am I enjoying and assimilating what I’m reading even more, but I’m also reading twice as many books. This habit supports my thirst for learning and understanding, which I highly value.

What area of your life would you like to change? What new habit can enhance your life? What will be next for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 

 

How Can I Help?

Do you want support organizing, developing new habits, or figuring out your next step? I’d love to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Change is possible, especially with support.

 
 
How to Encourage Change More from a Joy, Not Dread Perspective

When you think about change, which emotions bubble up? As someone who has observed, experienced, and helped others make changes, I’ve noticed many reactions. When anticipating change, we can experience mixed emotions, including fear, frustration, anxiety, doubt, overwhelm, sadness, ambivalence, excitement, relief, and hope.

Emotions are powerful. They can paralyze or propel us, depending on which ones are in play.

  • What if you could stack the deck in your favor?

  • What if you could shift your perspective to encourage a more joyful experience for your desired changes?

  • How would that alter your journey?

When you think about making a change, it can feel enormous, confusing, and unreachable. For example, let’s say you feel overwhelmed and frustrated by the clutter and disorganization in your life. You want things to change but don’t know what to do or how to begin. As a result, you do nothing.

A common organizing philosophy encourages breaking down large projects or goals into small, doable parts or tasks. Using this strategy is an effective path forward. You keep the larger goal in mind while focusing your effort on tiny, baby steps. This process reduces overwhelm and facilitates forward movement.

  

Encourage Change by Shifting Your Perspective

During a recent meditation and writing retreat led by my friend and colleague, Yota Schneider, she shared an insightful question. We considered it in a particular context around focusing.

However, the more I thought about it, the more I recognized how you could use the question to encourage change through a lens of positive expectations.

The question Yota shared was from neuropsychologist and author Dr. Rick Hanson. He asked,

“What will I be glad I did today?”

I appreciate the question’s simplicity and graciousness. What will I be glad I did today? The question has several fascinating effects.

  • Contemplate – It invites you to consider joy, happiness, gratification, or satisfaction as the driving force. In other words, you are taking action inspired by this positive perspective.

  • Strengthen – It offers a nonjudgmental inquiry while strengthening activation confidence. You imagine this positive change or task as if you have already accomplished it. The question boosts agency.

  • Reduce – While it doesn’t overtly state this, the question implies a narrower, singular focus. Dialing down the possibilities to something smaller can reduce or eliminate overwhelm.

  • Imagine – It merges present action with positive, immediate future results. You are doing something now that you will be happy you did later today.

  • Build – Using this question to navigate change gently promotes a repeat-and-build pattern versus a one-and-done method.

  • Act – The question is non-confrontational. It’s even kind of fun. You’re focusing on how good you’ll feel or “glad” you are when you do that thing today. 

Encourage change through a lens of positive expectations.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Work the Present and the Future

Once you gear your mind toward a “glad I did today” focus, you will experience many positive changes that connect with your larger goals. Here are several of the positives I’ve experienced recently and the change categories they influenced. I am glad I:

Relationships – Nurture and Strengthen

  • Celebrated my husband’s birthday

  • Cooked with my daughter

  • Sent packages and notes to our kiddos in advance of Valentine’s Day

  • Had assorted conversations with friends, family, and colleagues, including a friend I hadn’t spoken with in way too many years

Professional – Lead and Learn

  • Completed the edits and returned my chapter for a new ICD book on chronic disorganization

  • Led a planning meeting for my organizing colleagues for NAPO Westchester

  • Had virtual organizing sessions with my clients

  • Wrote my blog

Finances – Manage and Build

  • Gave our accountant a preliminary tax summary

  • Paid bills

  • Reconciled accounts

Household – Maintain and Edit

  • Cleared out the 2024 files and set up the 2025 files

  • Did laundry

  • Added a few clothing items to the donation bag

Well-Being – Calm and Care

  • Scheduled vaccines

  • Didn’t eat that extra piece of cake

  • Took a walk along the river even though it was cold

  • Slept later than usual

  • Went to yoga class

  • Meditated

 


It’s Your Turn to Invite Change

Which categories in your life are you looking to change? What is one thing you can do today that will bring you closer to that goal? With this in mind, what will you be glad you did today? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 


How Can I Help?

Do you want support organizing, planning, or inviting positive change? I’d love to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – local feel with a global reach.

Please email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or schedule a Discovery Call. Change is possible, especially with support.

 

 
 
One Clarifying Question to Help Embrace Change in Your Life

How is it already February? The past few months have been intense, and time has flown by. Based on recent conversations and my own experience, many people want to make changes but feel stuck.

Conflicting emotions include an urgency for change, confusion about what to change or how to move forward, and exhaustion even before starting. Additionally, the desire for change and the fear of the unknown can create further paralysis.

These feelings can show up in many ways, including:

  • You are dissatisfied with the status quo.

  • You want to make a shift but don’t know how to go about it.

  • You’re exhausted from the news, endless possibilities, and uncertainty.

  • You are unable to focus.

  • You feel overwhelmed.

  • You feel stuck and can’t figure out how to move forward.

  • You want things to change but have no energy to make it happen.

  • You want to press pause and postpone change.

  • You want to take action but are afraid of doing it wrong.

  • You don’t want to live this way anymore but lack clarity about changing things.

 

  

The Clarifying Question

Before making any change, selecting one area to focus on is essential. It can be tempting when pursuing change to get overly ambitious. There is nothing wrong with that. However, dividing your attention in too many directions can be overwhelming.

In The Power of Letting Go by John Purkiss, he poses this powerful and clarifying question:

“What do you want to change in your life?”

While you may have a long list of items, I encourage you to choose only one thing at a time. Don’t worry about what change to make or how or when you’ll make it. Release that noise. Begin with the question.

 

 

Which Change Will You Pursue?

You might want to pursue changes in several of the categories below. However, as mentioned, focusing on one area and one specific change at a time is most effective.

Change categories include:

  • Career and Work

  • Family and Relationships

  • Finances

  • Fun and Recreation

  • Health and Wellness

  • Personal Growth

  • Physical Environment

  • Spirituality

Here are some examples:

  • If Fun and Recreation is the first category you focus on, you might add one fun activity each month, such as going to a movie, ice skating, or having a pizza and game night.

  • If Health and Wellness is the first category you focus on, you might establish better sleep hygiene over several months. Establish consistent bedtime, reduce the ambient light, put away digital devices a few hours before bed, and take a warm bath.

  • If Physical Environment is the first category you focus on, you might declutter and organize one area each month, such as the kitchen, clothing closet, or bathroom.

Integrate one change before pursuing additional ones.

Integrate one change before pursuing additional ones.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

How to Work with the Clarifying Question

You know the clarifying question. Here’s one way to work with it:

  • Find a quiet place to reflect.

  • Close your eyes if that helps.

  • Sit with John’s question: What do you want to change in your life?

  • Notice what arises.

  • Capture your thoughts.

  • Scan your list.

  • Note which categories your changes are in.

  • Select one category and one specific change from that category to focus on first.

  • Allow the other ideas and chatter to recede into the background for now.

  • Once the change is well established, revisit your list to select the next change you want to pursue.

Do you feel more prepared to embrace change? Was the clarifying question helpful? What are you considering? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 

 

How Can I Help?

Do you want support organizing, planning, or clarifying changes to pursue? I’d love to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Change is possible, especially with support.