Posts tagged frustration
What Letting Go Can Do for You: Unexpected Benefits Found

Letting go is usually intentional. At least, it seems purposeful most of the time for my clients and me. Holding on can create stress, conflict, overwhelm, disappointment, confusion, or anxiety. The same can be said for the process of letting go. Thinking about saying ‘good-bye’ to things or situations can be its own type of challenge. However, when we finally let go, it allows for open space, growth, and relief.

I often consider letting go like a muscle that needs exercise and practice. The more you use the letting go muscle, the easier the process becomes. Decision-making goes more smoothly, too, as you set boundaries or rules around what stays or goes.

What happens when you accidentally let go? You might wonder how someone can unintentionally let go like one giant, whoops. I experienced this last week.

You are probably familiar with the term “inbox zero.” Some set a goal to have no (as in nothing, none, nil, zilch) emails in their inbox. Instead of keeping all emails visible, you route incoming emails to specific, organized locations to achieve a clear inbox. They can move to the trash, action, or archive folders along with a cue to follow through on a trusted task list.

Let’s return to my saga. With full disclosure, I can’t tell you exactly how it happened, but I remember that multitasking was involved. I couldn’t repeat the mistake if I tried. But the result was that I accidentally deleted all the emails in my inbox and couldn’t get them back. There were about 100, and I had responded to most but not all of them.

My first reaction was panic. Then I tried to undo the error. In my frenzy, I think I made things worse. So, I stopped. I took several deep breaths and asked myself, “Linda, now what?” There were several options, including getting on the phone with tech support to see if they could help retrieve the deletions. I lacked time, confidence, and patience for that option. I was also in the middle of several deadlines and needed to focus on those instead of my big mistake. I knew how quickly my day could have deteriorated with negative self-talk, paralysis, and frustration. Those weren’t good options.

Letting go allows for open space, growth, and relief.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

I felt calmer when I recognized that some emails could be retrieved through the “sent” email box if needed. In addition, if I missed something important, the sender would hopefully resend it to me. If you sent me an email and I never responded, please resend it. Thank you.

Letting Go: Unexpected Benefits

It’s been over a week without those deleted emails, and it’s been OK as of today. I let go of a lot and discovered some things along the way.

  • There is no perfect.

  • I’m human and make mistakes.

  • Life goes on even without a full inbox.

  • The most important things were handled.

  • I recognized growth in how I kept my initial panic to a minimum.

  • Resilience was visible as I quickly recovered from ‘the incident.’

  • Multitasking can be dangerous.

  • Appreciate the improved focus with fewer emails visible.

  • Be grateful for the empty inbox, even if unintentional.

  • Acknowledge the available time doing fun things like planting my small vegetable garden instead of stressing over retrieving emails.

  • Find the humor in the situation.

  • Remember the big picture.

In the end, letting go, while unexpected, was valuable. I’ve recovered from the mishap, appreciate a less full inbox, and feel lighter and less encumbered.

Have you ever let go accidentally? If so, what happened? What did you discover? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 
Are You Willing to Trust the Wait As You Make Your Fierce Change Journey?

Over 13 years ago, the first blog post I wrote was Waiting for Something. I acknowledged how waiting is part of our daily lives and how we often meet these times with impatience or annoyance. I offered a perspective change. Instead of considering waiting as an inconvenience, what if we treated it as a gift?

While waiting, we have an opportunity for something wonderful to transpire.

  • If we consider the waiting or transition time a gift, does that alter your experience?

  • What happens when we remain open and available to change?

  • Would you extend more love to yourself?

  • Would you be more willing to navigate the frustrations and challenges pursuing changes can bring?

Recently, I read a quote that brings another dimension to waiting and change. Trust is an essential aspect of your journey. This encourages a deep belief in trusting yourself, the process of change, and all that’s available on the other side. I offer author Mandy Hale’s perspective to you- “Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming.”

When I work with my virtual organizing clients, we begin with their big why in mind. We clarify what is driving the changes they desire. And why now? Understanding the why is integral to the change process. It provides the anchor and motivation when the process of change becomes challenging.

Clients might find it easy to let go and move forward during one virtual organizing session. They experience the state of flow, where their actions align with their goals, and they feel and acknowledge the progress. At other times, they feel stuck, frustrated, and impatient. This is normal. We lean into trusting the big goal and adjusting the organizing process if needed.

Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming.
— Mandy Hale

Change is exciting, but it can also be difficult getting there. With some new tools available, you can trust yourself and the process, embrace the learning along the way, and bask in the joy that comes through your effort.

How do you navigate waiting? What enables you to embrace change? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 
How to Have Compassion Navigating Life's Every Day Amazing, Awful, and Ordinary Experiences

As the holiday season arrives, there is much to be grateful for. There are gatherings and celebrations to look forward to with your favorite humans. There are moments of simple ordinary joy like taking your first sip of hot coffee in the morning, crossing off a task from your to-do list, or receiving an encouraging message from a friend. When things are going well, gratitude comes easily, and you lean into those positive feelings. What happens when you experience unpleasantness, inconveniences, or heartbreak? Are you able to navigate with compassion and patience?

I’m having a terrible moment, although I recognize it’s fixable and will pass. My computer is giving me BIG trouble. Yes. I talked with tech support and am working on the problem. There’s more to do, but I guess it’s time to replace my computer. This is not something I want to do right now, but it’s also no fun having my computer crash continually, go as slow as molasses, and not be able to handle the work I do each day. Time, the most precious commodity, is being wasted. My frustration levels are increasing.

 

During the educational NERCPO conference this weekend, presenter Rubina Motta spoke about productivity and eliminating waste in your processes. She said waste is “anything that adds cost or time without adding value.” Was she talking to me? Rubina explained the “seven deadly wastes,” of which “waiting” was one of them. I understand how waiting is essential and unavoidable at times. However, waiting for my computer programs to load while the multicolored wheel spins or reboots because the computer froze again, I could do without.

There’s a quote by author L.R. Knost, who shares a perspective about life that is both realistic and hopeful. She said,

“Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it’s ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.”

Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary.
— L.R. Knost

I love Knost’s advice, which I’m going to follow right now.

I will breathe in the amazing as I . . .

  • Marvel at the deep rich red maple leaves dotting the fall landscape

  • Spend time with my loved ones

  • Walk along the river and in the woods

  • Enjoy the flavors, textures, and scents of the foods I eat

  • Hear music that makes me well up with emotion

  • What amazing things will you breathe in?


I will hold on through the awful as I . . .

  • Figure out what tech steps are needed next

  • Grieve for the family and friends who have passed

  • What awful things are you navigating?

 

I will relax and exhale during the ordinary as I . . .

  • Do my daily mindfulness meditation

  • Practice yoga

  • Journal

  • Brush my teeth

  • Shower

  • Organize my days

  • Get into bed at night

  • What ordinary things are you relaxing into?

 

Life is a mix of emotions, experiences, joy, heartbreak, and more. Some days are more challenging than others. Extend extra compassion to yourself as you navigate life’s ups and downs. Breathe, hold on, and relax through all that is before you. What are you noticing now? What is your time and attention feeding? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 
My Surprising Find in a Fortune Cookie Is the Amazing Secret About Change
My Surprising Find in a Fortune Cookie Is the Amazing Secret About Change

We turned the page on the first month of the year and have arrived in February. Is anyone else wondering, “Where the @!#?! did January go?” I sure am. Last month, many of us were motivated by the fresh start signal a New Year brings. This month, we are poised and ready to embrace change. What will that mean for you? What changes are you pursuing? Is there a secret to initiating successful change? That’s where this story begins.

It isn’t the first time I’ve written about my love of fortune cookies. Yes. I do like the taste and their unique shape. But it’s the fortune that I really love. To me, it’s thrilling to discover a well-timed message tucked into my cookie. So when we order takeout, I always buy additional cookies- at least a dozen. Because why skimp on fun? Over the weekend, we did just that. When it came time for dessert, my husband and I started eating the cookies and reading the fortunes. Some fortunes were so-so, and others made no sense. But then, I read this one, and I knew I had to share it with you.

The greatest lever for change is awareness.
— Fortune cookie


A Wow Moment

“The greatest lever for change is awareness.” - Fortune cookie

Let’s savor that one. “The greatest lever for change is awareness.”  How can we change if we don’t know what we want to pursue, what challenge needs solving, or the next step? The changes we pursue begin with awareness. Noticing might be subtle at first. It could be a rumble, inkling, or a feeling. It could show up as frustration, like the challenge of getting dressed when closets are overflowing and disorganized. Maybe you feel overwhelmed and stressed because your schedule is filled with so many commitments that you have no time to breathe. Change is only possible when you notice and become aware. Change begins there.

 

Master Awareness Skills

We are constantly scanning our day, using cues to transition, change, and maintain habits. We wake in the morning as the sun rises. The daylight cues us to begin the day. We feel a twinge in our stomach, which indicates it’s time to eat something. We see the snow falling, which clues us that shoveling-time is coming. We see the sun setting and know workday wrap-up is close. We walk in the door and see the bowl, which reminds us to drop our keys in their ‘home.’ All of these things are tied to awareness. Change begins by noticing a distinct cue or indicator. 

Change begins by noticing a distinct cue or indicator.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Our awareness increases our readiness for change. As you pay attention to the cues to maintain your habits or transition from one part of the day to the next, you develop your awareness skills. Your noticing abilities are available to help you discover the indicators, which will encourage change.

Have you experienced rumblings that might indicate it is time for a change? What have you noticed? What change are you ready to make? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.