Posts tagged awareness
5 Simple Practices to Joyfully Reduce Stress and Restore Balance Now

It’s the holiday season. Lights twinkle, gifts get wrapped, and plans are in flux. You’re doing your best to keep up with your daily commitments and the extra effort it takes to navigate this season of celebration, gatherings, and giving. It can be a lot, both wonderful and overwhelming.

On one hand, you have extra time to be with your loved ones and take a break from your normal routines. However, there can also be pressure to say “yes” to all invitations, buy gifts beyond your budget, or overindulge in holiday treats. There are more delicious cookies around than usual. Oh, no!

While the holiday season can be joyful, it can also be stressful, making you feel anxious and out of balance. The good news is that it doesn’t have to be that way.

Recently, I discovered some wonderful grounding practices in “Are You Made at Me? – How to Stop Focusing on What Others Think and Start Living for You” by Meg Josephson, LSCW. These strategies help break the cycle of chronic stress, which negatively affects the mind and body.


Stress: “A Flirty Little Loop”

What is the stress cycle all about? Josephson explains, “The body naturally responds to stress – whether it’s real, remembered, or perceived– with tension, and this response keeps stress and tension going in a flirty little loop.” She describes the four-step cycle:

  • Stressful Happening – This could be internal or external, such as “an anxious thought spiral or someone doing something to make you feel unsafe, whether or not you actually are.”

  • Body Reacts – Your body responds by tensing up.

  • Message Perceived – Tensed muscles send signals to the body indicating that “Something bad is happening! This is stressful.”

  • Cycle Continues – “The tense muscles cue more anxious thoughts, more muscular tension, and more panic.” These reactions perpetuate the stress-and-tension loop.

Josephson says, “When the mind is tense, so is the body. When the body is tense, so is the mind. By first noticing that we’re tensing up, feeling stressed, we can immediately insert a pause into this automatic process and begin to soften our bodies. Being aware of the stress is what allows us to start to break the cycle.”

I will highlight my top five favorite grounding practices from the 14 that Josephson shared. These will help you reduce stress, feel more balanced, present, and calm.

When the mind is tense, so is the body. When the body is tense, so is the mind.
— Meg Josephson, LCSW

5 Simple Grounding Practices to Reduce Stress and Nurture Balance

These techniques can be used at any time during your day when you feel stressed. It all starts with awareness—paying attention to body signals like tense muscles.

1. Increasing Exhale

Elongate your exhale by doing a few cycles where you exhale longer than you inhale. For example, inhale for a count of 4 and exhale for a count of 6. This technique stimulates the vagus nerve, which immediately activates the parasympathetic nervous system, or “rest and digest” mode.

 

2. Humming

Keep your mouth closed, relax your jaw, and breathe in and out through your nose while making a sound with your vocal cords. The gentle buzzing sound creates vibrations that stimulate your vagus nerve. Singing or chanting can also work because the larynx (the voice box) is connected to the vagus nerve.

 

3. Sensing with 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

Use your senses to ground yourself by noticing the environment around you right now. Observe what’s nearby, and “Name five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.”

 

4. Using Your Hands

Research shows that “effective touch” is a stress reliever. This can include self-touch. Notice where you feel tension. Place your hand or palm on that area and breathe deeply. For example, if you’re feeling tension in your chest, put your hand there and breathe several times. This practice is calming and reduces stress.

 

5. Dancing

This practice feels especially fun during the holiday season. Of course, you can do it anytime. Dancing helps integrate movement and breath. It connects you to your body and takes you out of your head. Play your favorite tune and dance away.

 

 

 

 

How Do You Manage Stress and Invite More Balance?

It’s the season for joy and delight. But when you’re feeling stressed and off balance, accessing that joy can be difficult. Which of these five grounding practices resonates most with you? What else helps you feel grounded, calm, and balanced?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 

 

 

 

How Can I Help?

Do you feel overwhelmed, disorganized, stressed, or out of balance? Would you like to make progress? I’m here to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – Local feel with a global reach.

Let’s connect! I’m easy to reach.

Getting organized is possible, especially with support.

 
 
What Becomes Immediately Achievable When You Get Out of Your Own Way?

The things you say or think can act as possibility-blockers, preventing you from moving forward. They can be subtle or obvious. You might not notice how these phrases get in your way.

The blockers may sound like:

  • “I can’t do this.”

  • “It’s too hard.”

  • “I can’t tolerate the discomfort.”

  • “I’m just not good at this.”

  • “I’m unable to figure this out.”

  • “I don’t know where to start.”

  • “I don’t have any skills.”

  • “Nothing ever seems to work out.”

  • “I’m really frustrated, and I don’t know what to do.”

  • “I never finish anything.”

  • “It has always been like this, and I can’t change it.

  • “I’m feeling totally overwhelmed.”

  • “Nobody ever taught me how to do this.”

  • “I can barely get through today, let alone think about tomorrow.”

  • “I’m stuck where I am.”

  • “I’m too busy and don’t have time to find a solution.”

  • “I can’t imagine what’s possible because my mind and space are so cluttered.”

That’s a lot to take in. Have you noticed yourself repeating any of these phrases? Maybe you have different go-to messages that aren’t helping you. Take a moment to identify which thoughts are shutting you down.

What did you find out?

Focusing on negative messages reinforces your lack of agency. You are paying attention to defeat. While you might not be able to eliminate negativity completely, there is hope. In fact, here is a three-step approach that can help. It consists of awareness, reframing, and action.

 

 

A Three-Step Approach: Transform the Impossible into Possible

Step 1: Develop Awareness

The only limits to the possibilities in your life tomorrow are the ‘buts’ you use today.
— Les Brown

Notice the messages that aren’t serving you. Each time you repeat them, those neural pathways in your brain become stronger. The applies to positive messages, too. Becoming aware of your thoughts is the first step in changing them.

  • Observe and record.

  • Write down your negative thoughts and messages without judgment.

  • Make a note of how frequently they ‘visit’ you.

 

 

Step 2: Experiment with Reframing

Take your mind off the problems for a moment, and focus on the positive possibilities. Consider how very much you are able to do.
— Ralph Marston

Once you recognize which negative messages appear and how often they do, you’re ready for this next step.

When you notice yourself repeating the undesired words, use that as a cue to reframe them. Make a mental or written note. Intentionally craft a statement that reduces the power of negative thoughts and promotes healthier, more proactive messages.

Reframing examples:

  •  “I can’t do this,” can become “I’m learning to do this.”

  • “I don’t know where to start,” can become “Just start anywhere.”

  • “Nobody ever taught me how to do this,” can become “I can learn and will ask for help.”

  • “Nothing ever seems to work out,” can become “The past doesn’t have a hold over my future.”

 

  

Step 3: Do Something

The possibilities are numerous once we decide to act and not react.
— George Bernard Shaw

Negative messages can cause doubt and inaction. One way to overcome them is by taking action. After trying out the reframes, you’re ready to move on to this last step.

Ask yourself, “What tiny action can I take to move this project or situation forward?”

Make the action as small and simple as possible. That’s where the real change begins. By doing something, you shift from “I can’t” to “I can.”

Taking action changes your thinking and behavior. It helps you move from feeling stuck to being proactive.

Action also helps you to:

  • Be more creative when facing challenges,

  • Build momentum,

  • Foster a sense of agency,

  • Achieve your goals, and

  • Nourish hope.

 

 

 

 

What Is Possible When You Change Your Message?

You’re human. You’ll have internal and external messages that are negative and unhelpful. However, by learning to acknowledge, reframe, and take action, you can change the course of today and the future. Words and thoughts matter. Are yours supporting or hindering your growth? Change the messages so you can thrive.

Which ideas resonate most with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 

 

 

 

How Can I Help?

Do you feel overwhelmed, stuck, or disorganized? I’m here to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – Local feel with a global reach.

Let’s talk. I’m easy to reach.

 

Getting organized and making progress is possible, especially with support.

 
 
7 Inspiring Resources to Quickly Motivate You to Declutter Now

If you have a little clutter, a lot, or somewhere in between, you can benefit from editing and letting go. What happens when you hold onto things that no longer serve you? What results when your ‘stuff’ takes up too much physical, emotional, or energetic space?

Clutter can intensify feelings of:

  • Overwhelm

  • Anxiety

  • Stress

  • Frustration

  • Hopelessness

It can significantly affect your daily life, sense of agency, self-esteem, and energy.

The good news is that you can change your relationship with clutter and live with more ease. I’ve compiled a list of seven resources to help motivate you to declutter. From simple questions to client-inspired experiences to advice from experts, you’ll find what you need to support your decluttering journey.

 

 

Seven Resources to Motivate Decluttering

1. Commitment – Is Decluttering Worth It?

Let’s face it. Decluttering takes effort and time, and you might feel you have a limited supply of both. Ciéra Cree interviewed me for the Livingetc article, “Is Decluttering Worth It? Experts Say Yes – and Highlight Why a Clutter-Free Space Feels So Good.”

Only you can decide if decluttering is worth it. As shared in the article, “Countless clients of mine have experienced the positive effects of decluttering their space…they feel relief, as if a weight has been lifted. They are more energetic, productive, and optimistic about their space.”

 

 

2. Well-Being – What is Clutter’s Impact on Mental Health?

Clutter can negatively affect your mental health and well-being. If you are looking for several valuable resources that dive into the impact of clutter on your life and some helpful tools, check out my article, “One Excellent Tool to Assess Clutter’s Impact on Your Mental Health.”

The article includes links to my interviews with Melissa Tracey for

  • “How Clutter Creates Stress and Anxiety: Strategies for Decluttering” – Houselogic article

  • “You’ll Never Look at Your Home’s Clutter the Same” - The Housing Muse podcast

 

 

3. Observation – Does Clutter Blindness Affect You?

How can you declutter if you are clutter blind? Ciéra Cree interviewed me for the Apartment Therapy article, “4 Signs You May Be Struggling with ‘Clutter Blindness’ – And How to Fix It for Good.”

I defined clutter blindness as “the experience of having clutter in your life that you no longer see.”

Cultivate curiosity by developing awareness of clutter by purposefully noticing what’s around you. Focus on heightening your awareness. This will “help shift your internal perspective as well as your actual view of the physical clutter.”

  

 

4. Motivation – What Are the Top Reasons That Motivate Decluttering?

Significant life events can make the decluttering process easier and faster. This is because the reasons to declutter are clear. Decision-making goes more quickly and less stressfully because your choices are aligned with your goal.

The five top decluttering motivators are:

  • Moving – Downsizing, upsizing, or right-sizing

  • Cycling – Revolving door stage when kids leave and return home frequently during the college years and beyond

  • Surprising – Experiencing extreme weather events that damage possessions

  • Ending – Handling deceased loved one’s possessions

  • Stabilizing – Adjusting the environment to accommodate unanticipated medical or mental health conditions

To learn more, read my post, 5 Strong Motivation Reasons to Get Rid of Your Clutter.”

 

Significant life events can make the decluttering process easier and faster.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

5. Distress – What to Do First When Overwhelmed by Clutter?

Does clutter overwhelm you? If so, you’re not alone. You will love this resource if you’re curious about excellent first-step strategies.

Caroline Bologna recently interviewed me for the HuffPost piece, “The First Thing Professional Organizers Do When They’re Feeling Overwhelmed by Mess.”

There are many practical approaches. I prefer to change my internal state first to gain control so that I can more calmly and easily alter the external state, the clutter. You can achieve this by taking several slow, deep breaths. Then, shift your thoughts to more proactive and positive messages.

 

 

6. Solutions – Where Are the Best Tips for Decluttering and Organizing?

For over thirty years, I’ve been helping clients declutter and organize. Fast-forward to 2009 when I started blogging about organizing and life balance.

The categories I write about include clutter, letting go, virtual organizing, mindfulness, parenting, motivation, change, and more. Use the Browse the Blog feature or the search icon to learn more about a specific topic that interests you.

Many excellent organizing blogs are great resources for tips and strategies. Each blog has a distinct focus and personality. Feedspot recently featured its favorite organizing blogs on two lists, and I was thrilled to be included.

They are:

  

 

7. Progress – How Can the Decluttering Process be Simplified?

One of my favorite creatives and authors, Todd Henry, shared an excellent question in his book, Daily Creative. While he didn’t pose the question specifically for clutter challenges, I thought it could be effectively used in that context.

Todd asked,

“What’s the very next thing I need to do to make any kind of progress?”

I appreciate three aspects about this question and why it’s so powerful. They are:

  • The emphasis is on “the very next thing.” This implies not worrying about the entirety of your goal but instead reducing the scope to take one small next step at a time.

  • The qualifier “any” encourages you to start decluttering wherever you choose.

  • Including “progress” focuses your effort on moving forward rather than on perfection or completion. A progress pursuit is easier to measure, reduces overwhelm, and boosts motivation.

 

 

What Motivates Decluttering?

Is clutter challenging for you? What are your go-to resources that motivate you to declutter?  I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 

 

How Can I Help?

Do you want support organizing, editing, or decluttering? I’d love to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – Local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Living clutter-free is possible, especially with support.

 
 
How to Create Your Happy Life Balance Using Circles of Influence & Control

A while back, I received an email from Soren Gordhamer, an entrepreneur and founder of the Wisdom 2.0 Conference. He wrote,

“Two things are pretty clear:

 We have limited heartbeats in this life.

 And

 We never know when our last heartbeat will be.”

If that’s not a call to be intentional and focus on what matters most, I don’t know what is. When thinking about creating a better, happier life balance, framing it in the context of our limited time can help.

Are you spending time and emotional energy on things that are within or out of your control? Are you stressing about ‘what ifs, shoulds, and if only?’  Or are you focused on those things that are doable, bring you joy, and make life flow better?

You have choices, which is a good thing.

 

  

Circles of Influence and Control

This idea of limited time connects to another concept I was recently reminded of in To Do – 41 Tools to Start, Stick With, and Finish Things by Mikael Krogerus and Roman Tshchappeler.

They shared a Steven Covey concept from his classic book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It is the“circles of influence and control” technique to “help whenever we feel ineffectual, powerless or frustrated.” It’s also an excellent exercise for infusing better balance and focus into your days.

 

How to Create Your Circles – What You Can and Can’t Change

As the illustration below shows, draw three concentric circles.

1. Outer: Circle of Concern

  • Anything you have no control over belongs in the “concern” circle.

  • List several “things that bother you but you can’t do anything about.” Examples include:

    • Past events

    • The political climate

    • Natural disasters

    • Other people’s flaws

 

2. Center: Circle of Control

  • List several things you have agency over. These could be:

    • What you eat

    • Amount of sleep you get

    • People you hang out with

    • Amount of organization you have

    • Books you read

    • Movies you watch

  • Some might seem trivial, but they significantly influence our lives. Add these to your “control” list.

There’s immense power in knowing which things in our lives we can and can’t control.
— Mikael Krogerus and Roman Tschappeler

3. Middle: Circle of Influence

  • Include here things that aren’t in your control, yet you might be able to influence through your attitude or behavior. For example,

    • It’s impossible to “single-handedly avert climate change, but you can do something about it by living sustainably.”

    • You cannot “change your genes, but you can exercise regularly and eat more healthfully.”

    • You have no power over circle of concern events. However, you can influence or change your reaction to them.

 

 

How Does This Exercise Help?

The more you focus on those things you have no control over (circle of concern), the “more helpless and ineffectual you’ll feel.” However, when you focus on what is within your control (circle of influence and circle of control,) “the more confident and less anxious you’ll be.”

This exercise can heighten your awareness of how you’re spending your precious time. Focusing on areas you have agency and influence over can tip the balance in a more positive direction.

 

 

A Balanced Life Approach

You only go around once. How can you balance your days to include those things within your control and influence? What can you improve? What can you let go of?  I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Do you want help decluttering, organizing, planning, or finding a right balance for you? I’d love to help and I’m here for you. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization, balance, and ease are possible, especially with support.