Posts tagged overwhelm
3 Compassionate Ways to Easily Prepare for the Holiday Season

Are you excited about the holiday season or already feeling overwhelmed? You might feel both. Mixed emotions are normal. Perhaps you’re feeling positive anticipation because you’ll get to spend more time with your family and friends. At the same time, you might also feel overwhelmed by everything you have to prepare.

I’ve been there, and so have many of my clients. I always look forward to extra time with loved ones, whether we’re hosting or visiting. Yet I also recognize that without self-compassion and planning, I can easily become overwhelmed. My goal each holiday season is to lean into the beauty of the holidays while doing ‘just enough’ planning to experience all the love and joy, too.

If you want more joy and less stress this holiday season, consider focusing on three areas that can help: thoughts, time, and things. If working on all three feels like too much, choose just one. Even one small shift can make a positive difference.

 

 

How to Easily Prepare Yourself for the Holiday Season

1. Your Thoughts Matter

The mind is powerful, and what you feed it matters. What thoughts are you focusing on?

Are your thoughts:

  • Nourishing or negative?

  • Making you feel more anxious or more self-compassionate?

  • Tearing yourself down or reminding yourself, “You’ve got this”?

  • Keeping you stuck in the past or helping you focus on the present?

  • Focusing on everything that could go wrong or imagining what will work out?

  • Stressing over the details or reminding yourself that you can ask for help?

We’re human, and we’re not perfect. I understand that it takes work to feed the brain positive thoughts, especially when you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed. However, during those times, it becomes even more essential to speak to yourself with kindness, compassion, and positivity.

When you catch yourself heading down the path that fuels distress and overwhelm, stop, breathe, and notice. Then reframe. Just as the body needs nourishment to thrive, so does your brain. In this case, the nourishment your brain needs includes thoughts that lift you up, boost your agency, and foster compassion.

Focus on positive thoughts that resonate with you. Or try saying one of these sentences out loud or in your head:

  • Just take the next small step.

  • Take a breath.

  • I will ask for help.

  • I can work through this.

  • I’ve got this!

What helps you refocus your mindset on the positive?

 

 

 

2. Your Time is Limited

One interesting aspect of the holiday season is that it has a distinct start and end. Honestly, that’s a good thing. It doesn’t go on indefinitely. If it helps, imagine the holiday season contained in a not-too-big bucket that holds a few months.

How will you fill your bucket? Will you:

  • Overfill it until it spills over?

  • Fill it comfortably, leaving a little room?

  • Fill it only slightly, leaving plenty of free space?

It’s worth thinking about how you want your holidays to feel. It’s easy to get swept up in saying “yes” to every invite and doing more than you have time, capacity, or energy for. Think of your ‘time bucket’ as a visual boundary. Let’s extend that idea and consider your personal boundaries and how they shape your time.

When thinking about how you want to spend your time during the holidays, what do you want to invite in? Do you want:

  • A lot of unplanned downtime

  • Many parties and gatherings

  • Quiet time with family and friends

  • Travel time

  • Time to make progress on special projects

  • Time for yourself

The wonderful part is that you get to decide. It’s not too late to think about what you want first. That way, when an invite or request arrives, it's easier to say “yes” or “no.”

Here’s the most important part: Once you decide on your ideal holiday time mix, embrace it fully. You can adjust your plans and be flexible when needed. However, planning ahead can bring more ease and reduce decision fatigue.

What will your holiday time bucket include?

“We’re human, and we’re not perfect.”
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

3. Your Things Don’t Have to Overwhelm You

Have you noticed how the volume of stuff in your space seems to increase during the holidays? More belongings mean more to manage, and additional clutter can increase feelings of overwhelm.

Holiday thing-overwhelm can include:

  • Gift buying and receiving

  • Decorating and putting things away

  • Preparing food and cleaning up

  • Cards and other papers piling up

  • Guests’ belongings ‘living’ in your space

  • More recycling than usual

  • Existing household stuff and clutter

If your goal is to have more ease and less overwhelm, editing and decluttering before the holidays helps tremendously. This might be the point where you start to panic at the thought of decluttering and letting go. I understand. However, acknowledging some uncomfortable thoughts and taking action anyway can make a meaningful difference.

If decluttering your entire home isn't realistic in the time you have, focus on one to three key areas that will have the biggest impact.

Areas that tend to get the most use during the holidays include:

  • Kitchen

  • Living room

  • Dining room

  • Guest bathroom

  • Entryway

  • Guest bedroom

To make decluttering less complicated, consider these ideas:

  • Determine how much time you have to focus on decluttering.

  • Select only one to three areas to declutter.

  • Schedule ‘decluttering time’ on your calendar.

  • Focus on a decluttering sprint (15–45 minutes per area) rather than a deep dive.

  • Prioritize clearing surfaces and floor space.

  • Start with one area, such as the kitchen.

  • Relocate anything that belongs elsewhere.

  • Box or bag items for donation.

  • Put other items in the trash or recycling.

  • If you get stuck deciding, give yourself a pass for now and move on to the next thing.

  • After you complete your sprint, take a break. Return when you’re ready to declutter the next area.

  • Repeat until you’ve decluttered the areas you chose.

If you run out of time or energy, that’s OK, too. Even if you only get to one area, this is still a win. You can always reset and return to decluttering after the holidays.

Which area or areas would you most like to declutter before the holidays?

 

 

 

 

What Will a Compassionate, Human Approach to the Holidays Look Like to You?

Invite more ease, joy, and compassion this holiday season. Choose progress, not perfection. Give your attention to these three areas:

  • Focus on reframing your thoughts.

  • Decide what deserves your time.

  • Make your physical spaces easier to manage.

Which ideas resonate with you? What will make the holidays less stressful and more joyful? I’d love to hear your thoughts, and I invite you to join the conversation.

 

 

 

 

How Can I Help?

Do you feel overwhelmed, stuck, or disorganized? You don't have to face this alone. I’m here to help! Get unstuck and make progress. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward—with a local feel and a global reach.

Getting organized, making progress, and feeling less overwhelmed are possible, especially with support.

Let’s talk! I’m easy to reach.

 
 
3 Powerful Questions to Cut Through the Noise and See What's Possible

Figuring out what’s possible can feel elusive for many reasons. Your mind can be busy, distracted, clouded, or overloaded. This “noise” can make it hard to see your options. Other factors can make possibility thinking harder, including:

  • Unsupportive physical environment

  • Overwhelming schedule

  • Difficulty making decisions

What if you had a toolbox of questions that could reduce the chatter, bring clarity, and spark action?

Powerful questions can help you get unstuck while also offering benefits such as:

  • Lowering stress

  • Ruminating less

  • Taking more action

  • Boosting energy

  • Improving well-being

James Clear writes a weekly 3-2-1 newsletter that I love receiving. The format is simple: he shares three ideas, two quotes, and one question. This post draws inspiration from his newsletter.

 

 

3 Powerful Questions to Cut Through the Noise and See What’s Possible

1. Remove Your Distraction

Oh, those distractions! They can be everywhere. There can be so many that trying to eliminate them all feels overwhelming. If physical interruptions or annoyances in your environment are getting in the way, removing one distraction is an excellent place to start.

To do this, Clear suggests that you “Pick one room where you spend a lot of time…Keep what serves you or inspires you. Remove what distracts you.”

Powerful Question 1:

“What is one item in this room that you no longer use or do not benefit from?”
— James Clear

2. Narrow Your Objective

There’s nothing wrong with thinking big or having a lot you want to accomplish. However, if too many goals or ideas make it hard to know what to focus on, consider narrowing the scope. This can help you get unstuck and make progress.

Clear says, “Clarity isn’t about knowing what you want to do with your life, it’s about knowing what you want to do this week. You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need to know your next step.”

Powerful Question 2:

“What is the next step you can take right now to support what you want to do this week?”
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™


3. Reframe Your Focus

Each day, do you tend to focus more on fixing problems or on enhancing what’s working? Neuroscience research suggests that our brains are wired for a negativity bias. In our evolutionary past, paying attention to potential threats helped keep us safe by detecting danger and responding quickly through fight, flight, or freeze. However, this bias can create obstacles today.

By recognizing this bias, you can ask different questions that shift your focus from fixing what’s wrong to building on what’s right. Clear shared an idea from executive coach Joe Hudson. Instead of asking a question that reinforces the negativity bias, “What’s wrong and how do I fix it?” try experimenting with this reframe instead:

Powerful Question 3:

“What’s right and how do I grow it?”
— Joe Hudson

What’s Possible for You?

When you clear the noise, clarify where to focus, and change how you approach what’s in front of you, meaningful progress follows. With three simple questions, you can not only imagine what’s possible but also take the action needed to make it happen.

Which questions resonate with you? How have you used these or similar questions? I’d love to hear your thoughts, and I invite you to join the conversation.

 

 

  

How Can I Help?

Do you feel overwhelmed, stuck, or disorganized? You don't have to face this alone. I’m here to help! Get unstuck and make progress. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward—with a local feel and a global reach.

Let’s talk! I’m easy to reach.

Getting organized, making progress, and focusing on what’s possible are all doable, especially with support.

 
 
How a Fantastic Conference Taught Me More About Virtual Organizing

Recently, I returned from the Institute for Challenging Disorganization’s (ICD) conference, held in Canada this year. Colleagues from around the globe gathered to learn, connect, and explore the latest ideas and research related to neurodivergence and people affected by chronic disorganization.

The conference covered a fascinating range of topics, including ADHD, decision-making, navigating life transitions, clutter, emotional labor, hoarding disorder, motivational interviewing, and communication.

I was thrilled to be part of the panel, “Cultivating Connection: Best Practices for Communication with Neurodivergent Clients,” alongside my wonderful colleagues. Sara Skillen moderated, and Leslie Josel and Elizabeth Brink were the other panelists.

Whenever I’m learning, I have one goal: to learn at least one new thing, discover one new resource, or deepen my connection with something I already know. Honestly, with that simple goal, I consistently come away with far more than one thing.

The ICD conference was no exception.

I’m excited to share some of my takeaways and how they expanded my thinking, reinforced what I already know, and will influence the virtual organizing work I do with clients.

 

What Expanded My Thinking About Virtual Organizing

Emotional Labor

In “The Art of the Invisible: Helping Neurodiverse Families Navigate the Emotional Labor Lifecycle,” presenters Regina Lark, PhD, CPO®, CPO-CD® and Leslie Josel, PCC, discussed how emotional labor, which is mostly invisible and disproportionately handled by moms, is “the exhausting work” and the “cognitive management of household systems.”

Navigating emotional labor, work that never ends, requires executive function (EF) skills that rely heavily on the prefrontal cortex. These include:

  • Planning

  • Focusing

  • Remembering instructions

  • Juggling multiple tasks

  • Managing emotions

  • Working memory

  • Organizing

However, as many of my clients have experienced, EF skills can be especially challenging if you are highly stressed, have prefrontal cortex damage, or have conditions such as ADHD, autism, dyslexia, dyspraxia, or Tourette’s syndrome.

One of the biggest takeaways was distributing the emotional load through “radical delegation. Take perfection off the table. Delegate to someone else, even if they aren’t good at it.  Go for “good enough.”

This made me think differently about virtual organizing. When we work together, we’re not only organizing possessions or creating systems. We’re also considering the mental load behind those systems. What decisions are constantly being made? What is someone trying to remember? What are they managing for themselves or others? And what might be possible to let go of, share, or accept as “good enough”?

Life Transitions

We experience many life transitions. Professor and researcher Dr. Michelle Pannor Silver focused on four in her presentation, “Unpacking Identity: Navigating Later Life Transitions for Those with Organizational Challenges.” She discussed retirement, menopause, clutter, and prioritizing physical resilience.

Much of my work involves helping clients navigate transitions such as moving, starting a new job, divorce, birth, losing a loved one, and other life changes like those Dr. Silver discussed.

One takeaway came from the retirement section. Since our identities are often tied to our work, figuring out what comes next takes thought. Silver stressed the importance of creating “time and mental space to imagine retirement.” It’s not just about getting your finances in order. Take time to envision how you want your post-work life to feel and what you want it to be like. Include “sparking joy” activities.

Another idea that resonated was “recalibrating after loss.” In later years, loss can arrive in many forms, including changes in work status, moving from a familiar environment, changes in physical or cognitive abilities, and the loss of loved ones.

I am thinking differently about virtual organizing in the context of reimagining and recalibrating life. We go through periods when the organizational systems or patterns that used to work suddenly become ineffective. They no longer support who we are now. Virtual organizing sessions can be a wonderful way to work through these shifts and create systems and schedules that support who you are now.

“Decision-making is at the center of everything. It is a core part of being human.”
— Elizabeth Brink, PCC, PCNC®, SEP®

What Reinforced What I Already Know About Virtual Organizing

ADHD

Ari Tuckman, PsyD, MBA, presented “ADHD Can Make Organizing Psychologically Messy.” He emphasized that the ADHD challenge is “not the knowing, but the doing.” Challenges with activation, attention regulation, perfectionism, and time management can make it harder to start. You might know what to do, but these obstacles can make it challenging to get things done.

One question Tuckman suggested was, “What’s a realistic, sustainable goal that you’ll allow yourself to feel good about?” Emphasizing “realistic” and “sustainable” is central to my work with clients.

Tuckman shared many strategies that reinforced the tools and concepts I use with clients. They included:

  • Time – Use analog clocks, alarms, and schedules to build time awareness and make time more visible.

  • Fun – Make tasks less boring and more enjoyable through gamification or a playful spin.

  • Clarify – Ask, “How important is ‘this’ relative to everything else?”

  • Momentum – Do a “bit of something,” and always “hope for momentum.”

  • Experiment – “Be willing to flounder, and be confused.”

  • Decision-Making– If you are having difficulty choosing, flip a coin. It can clarify what you really want.

  • Perfectionism – Focus on “good enough.”

These strategies reflect what I see every day in virtual organizing: knowing what to do and being able to do it aren’t always the same. Virtual organizing sessions can help clients identify what gets in the way, experiment with different approaches, and find strategies that are realistic and sustainable for them.

Decision-Making

Elizabeth Brink, PCC, PCNC®, SEP®, a neurodivergent-centered coach, educator, and trainer, presented “Decision-Making: Neurodivergence, Trauma, and Chronic Disorganization.” Brink stated, “Decision-making is at the center of everything. It is a core part of being human.”

Brink went on to say that “Decision-making is a special kind of hard for neurodivergent humans.” She also said that for neurodivergent people, “Overwhelm is a reasonable response to decision-making.”

When Brink said, “It’s a big deal how to help people make decisions,” I recognized how central nurturing decision-making skills and building agency are to my virtual organizing work. People reach out to me when they feel overwhelmed, and much of that overwhelm comes from difficulty making decisions.

Decision-making skills can be learned. Brink featured several skill-building strategies that align with how I support my clients in making decisions. They include:

  • Empathy – Understand and appreciate what they may be feeling or experiencing, without judgment.

  • Demystify – Learn how they make decisions, what’s worked well for them in the past, the process they’ve used, and how we can tweak or apply that process to current choices.

  • Capacity – Be mindful of their capacity at that moment, normalize pauses, take breaks to avoid decision fatigue, and encourage a slower pace when needed.

Always Be Learning

Every conference leaves me with something to think about, but this one reminded me why I value learning so much. Sometimes a new idea changes how I approach my work. Other times, it gives me language for what I already know and see in my work with clients. Both are valuable.

I’m excited to bring these insights into my virtual organizing sessions and stay curious, experiment, and learn alongside my clients.

How Can I Help?

Do you feel overwhelmed, stuck, or disorganized? You don’t have to face it alone. I’m here to help! Get unstuck and make progress. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward—with a local feel and a global reach.

Let’s talk! I’m easy to reach.

Getting organized, making progress, and reaching your goals are doable, especially with support.

 
 
How to Use a Simple Way to Get Unstuck and Spark Motivation Now

Feeling stuck is something everyone experiences. It can also take a toll on motivation. Have you felt this way lately?

There can be many reasons you might feel at a standstill, such as:

  • Overwhelm from a big or complex project

  • Perfectionism and the belief that you have to do it “the right way”

  • Decision fatigue that leaves you with little capacity to act

  • Unclear about what to do next

  • Lack of accountability or support

  • Unrealistic expectations about what can be accomplished

  • Fear of failure, success, or making the wrong decision

  • Waiting until you feel motivated

Do any of these sound familiar, or is there another reason holding you back?

 

 

 

The “I Can’t” Mindset

When you get stuck, something psychological can happen. Instead of feeling a sense of agency and believing you will figure things out and move forward, you focus on what isn’t possible or what you can’t do.

The “I Can’t” mindset could be what’s keeping you stuck. You might ruminate or focus on messages like:

  • “This project is so big. I’ll never get it done.”

  • “I don’t know where to start.”

  • “I don’t have the time.”

  • “I don’t have the energy.”

  • “It’s impossible for me to get organized.”

  • “I’ll never catch up.”

  • “I’m afraid I’ll make the wrong decision.”

  • “I need to feel motivated first.”

Are any of these phrases ones you ‘hear’ yourself say? Identifying your unique “I Can’t” provides valuable insight into what’s keeping you blocked.

 

 

 

The Shift That Unlocks You, Builds Momentum, and Sparks Motivation

Mindset is everything. It can make all the difference in how you experience life and in what you do or don’t do. One way to take control of the narrative that hasn’t been working for you is to change the dialogue.

Instead of focusing on what’s not possible or your “I Can’t” list, use one of these possibility-infused questions to work its magic. Some options include:

  • What’s one small step I can take right now?

  • What’s possible today?

  • What’s one thing I can do in the next five minutes?

  • What’s good enough for today?

  • What would make this a little easier?

And if you want an elegantly simple question, here’s one from James Clear that I love:

“What can I do?”

Ask a possibility-focused question to immediately shift your mindset toward a more positive, proactive one. 

“What can I do?”
— James Clear

The Choice Is Yours

It doesn’t feel good to be stuck. Your internal dialogue strongly shapes whether you stay stuck or move forward. Pay attention to the messages you tell yourself. You have the power to shift the dialogue from “I can’t” to “I can.”

Which phrases help or hurt you? How could a shift in mindset benefit you? How would that shift help you get unstuck? In what ways would it help build your motivation? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 

 

How Can I Help?

Do you feel overwhelmed, disorganized, and stuck? Are you struggling with a lack of motivation? I’m here to help! You don’t have to do this alone. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – Local feel with a global reach.

Let’s talk! I’m easy to reach.

Getting organized, cultivating motivation, and reaching your goals are possible, especially with support.