Posts tagged legacy
Here Are 5 Most Interesting and Best Next Step Discoveries - v54

Enjoy the latest edition (v54) of the “What’s Interesting?” series, which features my most recent finds that inspire, spark curiosity, and relate to organizing and life balance. These unique next step discoveries reflect this month’s blog theme.

You are an engaged, vibrant, and generous group. I am deeply grateful for your ongoing presence, positive energy, and contributions to this community. I look forward to your participation and further contributions to this curated collection.

What do you find interesting?

 

 


What’s Interesting? – 5 Best Next Step Discoveries

1. Interesting Read – Compassionate Next Step

Recently, a client shared with me a book she was reading, How to Keep House While Drowning – A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing by therapist, author, podcaster, and speaker KC Davis, LPC. I was curious, so I read it, too.

The ideas resonated deeply with my client, who appreciated the realistic, kind approach to organizing and care tasks that encouraged gentle next steps. One of KC’s philosophies is “You don’t exist to serve your space; your space exists to serve you.”

How often do you feel like your stuff is running you? KC helps shift the perspective and offers advice for “how to care for ourselves when we feel like we are drowning.”

From practical organizing and cleaning tips to kinder self-talk, KC shares personal experiences of what has worked for her and others. She describes care tasks (laundry, cooking, cleaning, organizing, etc.) as neutral rather than a moral failing, even when they challenge you.

KC describes her own perspective shift and says, “Let me tell you what the mess in my home means. It means I’m alive. Dirty dishes mean I’ve fed myself. Scattered hobby supplies mean I am creative. Scattered toys and mess mean I am a fun mom…And occasionally, mess means I’m struggling with depression or stress. But those aren’t moral failings either, and neither is that moldy coffee cup I keep not taking to the kitchen.”

A few additional reframes KC offers include:

  • “Chores > care tasks”

  • “Chores are obligations. Care tasks are kindness to self.”

  • “Cleaning > resetting the space.”

  • “Cleaning is endless. Resetting the space has a goal.”

  • “It’s so messy in here! > this space has reached the end of its functional cycle.”

Filled with personal struggles and compassionate solutions, KC guides us on a journey toward reducing self-criticism and guilt, and finding more peace at home, one step at a time.

 

 

 

 

2. Interesting Perspective – Restful Next Step

It’s easy to overlook your needs. Do you find yourself pushing, doing, scheduling, organizing, and constantly in motion? There is a reason we call ourselves human beings, not human doings. ‘Being’ involves both action and rest.

A recent Real Simple article featured a Swedish tradition called “fredagsmys” that beautifully encourages a balance between work and relaxation. The translation means “cozy Friday” or “Friday coziness.” This marks an intentional shift from the workweek to a relaxing weekend. Fredagsmys embodies connection, relaxation, and comfort. It is practiced by spending Friday night at home with your family or friends, watching movies, relaxing, eating, connecting, and being cozy with soft blankets and low lighting.

If you find yourself constantly pushing, adding some fredagsmys into your week could be the next step you need. But if that feels too big and challenging, find other smaller ways to build in rest and no-stress moments. Baby steps.

Before you know it, you’ll be ready for an entire night of relaxation, connection, and calm.

 

 

 

 

 

3. Interesting Product – Organized Next Step  

As the clocks just moved ahead an hour for the annual ‘spring forward,’ this signals that the season is about to change. Another sign is the greenery emerging from the ground. The plants are happy to see the light after being buried under piles of snow.

With that spring lens in mind, I came across this lovely butter-yellow or “yellow pear” steel rolling storage cart with a wood top. It’s a limited- edition collaborative design created by Yamazaki and Apartment Therapy.

If you need additional storage space with easy access for kitchen essentials like spices, oils, pasta, or snacks, this slim rolling cart (5” deep x 18” wide x 27” tall) will fit into the smallest spots.

This storage cart will make it easy and fun to organize your essentials.

 

You don’t exist to serve your space; your space exists to serve you.
— KC Davis, LPC

4. Interesting Resource – Capture Next Step

With over thirty years of helping clients declutter, let go, and get organized, I’ve seen firsthand how belongings hold meaning. This is one reason why letting go can be challenging.

Artifcts founder Heather Nickerson developed an app-based service that helps you record stories and memories about meaningful items and share them securely with loved ones. Documenting each item’s story can be key to letting go of the physical object.

The easy-to-use app helps you add photos, videos, audio recordings, and notes. You can document “what an item is, why it matters, and what should happen to it next.” This is an invaluable tool when you’re “organizing, downsizing, or planning your legacy.”

Heather’s inspiration for launching Artifcts came after her mother’s death. She inherited her mom’s possessions but really wanted to know the stories behind them. However, her mom was no longer there to share those stories. Artifcts helps you “preserve the meaning behind the objects that speak to who we are and where we’ve been.”

If you want your next step to include memorializing and letting go, this app is worth exploring.

 

  

 

 

5. Interesting Thought – Tiny Next Step

When your next step feels overwhelming, it might be too large. There are several ways to move forward. The first is to reduce the overwhelm. When you’re emotionally heightened, the amygdala takes over and blocks access to the thinking and action parts of the brain.

One strategy is to do some simple breathing.

  • Breathe in deeply through your nose.

  • Exhale through your mouth longer than the inhale.

  • Repeat that several times.

Your system will settle and calm, giving you the capacity to choose what happens next.

Once you’re in a less anxious state, take the next step by making it as small as possible. This helps prevent feeling overwhelmed. For example, instead of deciding that the next step is decluttering the entire kitchen, choose to declutter one corner of the kitchen counter. If that feels too overwhelming, focus on decluttering a small pile or simply removing items that are being routed elsewhere.

After completing that tiny step, you can choose to continue or stop. If you decide to do more, repeat the process and pick another tiny next step. Small and doable is better than big and paralyzing.

 

 

 

 

Next Step Options

When you want to move forward but feel stuck, what will help? There are many approaches and ways to consider next, as I shared with you.

Which of these discoveries resonates most? Do you have any next step ideas to add? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

 

 

 

 

How Can I Help?

Do you feel overwhelmed, stuck, or disorganized? Is figuring out your next step feeling elusive? I’m here to help. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – Local feel with a global reach.

Let’s talk. I’m easy to reach.

Moving forward and getting organized are possible, especially with support.

 
 
Ways to Let Go and Grieve When an Enormous Loss Happened
How to Be Inspired By Possibilities With Fall’s Astonishing Cues

Letting go is never easy, even when it’s anticipated. On March 27th, my beautiful 92-year old mother, Wilma Simon Machover, died peacefully in the morning light while listening to Mozart. While her passing was expected as she had been fading these past few months, none of us thought it would happen on that day. But she was ready. As some of you may know, this has been a long goodbye. Mom was diagnosed with vascular dementia eight years ago, a year after my dad died. Her dementia presented many challenges but also learning opportunities and so much love.

In this time of grief, I am deeply moved by the outpouring of messages, support, and loving gestures from family and friends. Thank you so much for your kindness and the beautiful ways you have helped me and my family honor and celebrate my mom’s life.

It’s impossible to summarize her extraordinary life in a few words because there are so many stories and ways that she touched our lives. Instead, I’m sharing a few stories, and the legacy mom left us. 

 

Mom’s Legacy

When I think about the legacy mom left us, four words stand out:

  • Love – which was visible in all things she touched

  • Family – which was her everything

  • Music – which was her passion

  • Community – which she created wherever she was

 

 

Mom Stories

1. Love

Love was part of every conversation, decision, and choice mom made. It was present in her relationships and how she loved my dad, siblings, grandkids, family, friends, and me.

I remember after Allison was born and I was pregnant with baby #2, our beautiful Cassie. I was worried and scared, so I talked with my mom. Would I have enough love for another child? She assured me and said that love is an amazing thing. There is no limit on how much love we have. It keeps growing. And she was right. The more you love, the more love you have to give.

Always the teacher and role model, I watched mom. When each of her seven grandkids was born (Allison, Ryan, Cassie, Allegra, Hana, Halle, and Noa,) I saw mom’s heart expand as she welcomed them into the world with open arms and abundant love.

 

  

2. Gratitude

My mom was a grateful person. For years, maybe decades, I spoke with her at least once a day. Our calls were frequently about how grateful we were for the people we loved and the time spent together. She’d say, “That’s the good stuff!”

She always communicated a profound sense of gratitude for her family, friends, music, art, and the preciousness of time. Even as her dementia worsened and talking wasn’t always a viable way to communicate, she continued to express gratitude and appreciation in so many ways.

 

  

3. Mindfulness

For a brief period, when I was about 9 years old, I remember my mom told me that her friends, Jack and Erva Zuckerman, joined the Gurdjieff Society. The group encouraged a philosophy about life that fascinated her. One of the things my mom described was their belief in living mindfully, although I’m not sure they called it that. She gave an example- if you are making your bed, focus on just that one thing- smoothing the sheets, feeling the fabric, appreciating, and being in the moment.

Mom used to experiment with that idea and sometimes talked aloud to share it with me as she practiced mindfully washing the dishes, folding the laundry, or making the bed. I realized how in mom’s later years, she became my mindfulness guru in another way. Her dementia journey was long. Eventually, Mom lost her memory of the past and wasn’t aware of the future. With those changes, she modeled mindfulness and presence. She found joy in the present through playing piano, listening to music, singing, dancing, smiling, being with people who cared about her, exploring the garden, holding hands, feeling the sun on her face, or being playful.

When I was with her, I entered her world wherever she was, and we experienced the moments together. She helped me appreciate the now even more and savor the precious time I had with her.

 

  

4. Lifelong Bond

Mom loved telling me my birth story, which she shared often. She was fully awake when I was born, and the nurse handed me to her right away. She said, “You wrapped your tiny hand around my finger and squeezed it tightly.” Then she said, “I know we’ll be friends forever.” And she was right. We were always close.

Towards the end of her life, she hummed but barely talked. During one of my last visits with her before she died, I held her hand and sang her songs that she loved and used to sing to me. She swayed our hands gently to the rhythm of the music. Then suddenly, she squeezed my hand tightly and placed our hands together over her heart.

At the beginning of my life and the end of hers, there were no words. We shared touch, connection, and beautiful moments of love.

Letting go is never easy. Yet, in our letting go, the stories about those we love live on. Have you experienced letting go challenges or loss? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.