It’s the holiday season. Lights twinkle, gifts get wrapped, and plans are in flux. You’re doing your best to keep up with your daily commitments and the extra effort it takes to navigate this season of celebration, gatherings, and giving. It can be a lot, both wonderful and overwhelming.

On one hand, you have extra time to be with your loved ones and take a break from your normal routines. However, there can also be pressure to say “yes” to all invitations, buy gifts beyond your budget, or overindulge in holiday treats. There are more delicious cookies around than usual. Oh, no!

While the holiday season can be joyful, it can also be stressful, making you feel anxious and out of balance. The good news is that it doesn’t have to be that way.

Recently, I discovered some wonderful grounding practices in “Are You Made at Me? – How to Stop Focusing on What Others Think and Start Living for You” by Meg Josephson, LSCW. These strategies help break the cycle of chronic stress, which negatively affects the mind and body.

Stress: “A Flirty Little Loop”

What is the stress cycle all about? Josephson explains, “The body naturally responds to stress – whether it’s real, remembered, or perceived– with tension, and this response keeps stress and tension going in a flirty little loop.” She describes the four-step cycle:

• Stressful Happening – This could be internal or external, such as “an anxious thought spiral or someone doing something to make you feel unsafe, whether or not you actually are.”

• Body Reacts – Your body responds by tensing up.

• Message Perceived – Tensed muscles send signals to the body indicating that “Something bad is happening! This is stressful.”

• Cycle Continues – “The tense muscles cue more anxious thoughts, more muscular tension, and more panic.” These reactions perpetuate the stress-and-tension loop.

Josephson says, “When the mind is tense, so is the body. When the body is tense, so is the mind. By first noticing that we’re tensing up, feeling stressed, we can immediately insert a pause into this automatic process and begin to soften our bodies. Being aware of the stress is what allows us to start to break the cycle.”

I will highlight my top five favorite grounding practices from the 14 that Josephson shared. These will help you reduce stress, feel more balanced, present, and calm.

“When the mind is tense, so is the body. When the body is tense, so is the mind. ”

— Meg Josephson, LCSW

5 Simple Grounding Practices to Reduce Stress and Nurture Balance

These techniques can be used at any time during your day when you feel stressed. It all starts with awareness—paying attention to body signals like tense muscles.

1. Increasing Exhale

Elongate your exhale by doing a few cycles where you exhale longer than you inhale. For example, inhale for a count of 4 and exhale for a count of 6. This technique stimulates the vagus nerve, which immediately activates the parasympathetic nervous system, or “rest and digest” mode.

2. Humming

Keep your mouth closed, relax your jaw, and breathe in and out through your nose while making a sound with your vocal cords. The gentle buzzing sound creates vibrations that stimulate your vagus nerve. Singing or chanting can also work because the larynx (the voice box) is connected to the vagus nerve.

3. Sensing with 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

Use your senses to ground yourself by noticing the environment around you right now. Observe what’s nearby, and “Name five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.”

4. Using Your Hands

Research shows that “effective touch” is a stress reliever. This can include self-touch. Notice where you feel tension. Place your hand or palm on that area and breathe deeply. For example, if you’re feeling tension in your chest, put your hand there and breathe several times. This practice is calming and reduces stress.

5. Dancing

This practice feels especially fun during the holiday season. Of course, you can do it anytime. Dancing helps integrate movement and breath. It connects you to your body and takes you out of your head. Play your favorite tune and dance away.

How Do You Manage Stress and Invite More Balance?

It’s the season for joy and delight. But when you’re feeling stressed and off balance, accessing that joy can be difficult. Which of these five grounding practices resonates most with you? What else helps you feel grounded, calm, and balanced?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

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Time keeps ticking. The sun rises and sets each day. Is it just me, or do the days feel like they are passing at an accelerated speed? Here we are at the start of summer, yet it seems like 2023 just began. The days are packed with things to do, organize, and follow up on. Special days are punctuated by birthdays, graduations, births, weddings, and anniversaries. Especially during this time of year, there are many endings and new beginnings. These celebrations increase the passage of time awareness.

You experience longer pauses each day when you sleep. But often, during the non-sleeping hours, you are going, going, going. Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for making the most of each day and being productive. However, there is also tremendous value in taking a timely pause or break from your routine. It’s wonderful if you can build in short daily pauses. Mine include mindfulness meditation, nature walks, or slowly sipping iced coffee. What are your short breaks like?

Long, planned pauses are also beneficial. These extended breaks, like a day off, long weekends, or vacations, nurture your well-being. Routines are helpful to establish, but switching your patterns can be restorative and energizing. It’s easy to forget the importance of not-doing and taking a break, especially when working so much. You will burn out if you get consumed in doing and accomplishing without pausing.

My husband Steve and I just celebrated our 40th anniversary. Talk about time passing quickly! I don’t know where the years have gone. To celebrate, we traveled to Turks & Caicos. We loved it, especially the slower “island time” pace, which was palpable and contagious. Within a few days, the warm air, soft white sand, clear turquoise water, and calm pace worked their magic on us. We leaned into the pause 100%. We woke up without alarms, went to bed when we wanted, and spent hours floating in the beautiful sea each day. We had no plans and allowed each day to unfold with a few exceptions.

Life is about contrasts- night and day, warm and cold, activate and pause. I appreciate working hard but I also know how essential it is to take breaks. Even tiny ones are helpful. But after taking a break for over a week, I also recognize the value of long pauses.

Time keeps ticking. Prioritizing time to play, relax, wander, swim, float, and celebrate with my best friend and husband of 40 years is essential. It’s been a while since we took that much time off, and I’m so happy we did. There are more pauses in my future- some short, some extended. They are essential.

“You will burn out if you become consumed in doing and accomplishing without pausing.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

How do you know when it’s time for a pause? What do your breaks look and feel like? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

As the holiday season arrives, there is much to be grateful for. There are gatherings and celebrations to look forward to with your favorite humans. There are moments of simple ordinary joy like taking your first sip of hot coffee in the morning, crossing off a task from your to-do list, or receiving an encouraging message from a friend. When things are going well, gratitude comes easily, and you lean into those positive feelings. What happens when you experience unpleasantness, inconveniences, or heartbreak? Are you able to navigate with compassion and patience?

I’m having a terrible moment, although I recognize it’s fixable and will pass. My computer is giving me BIG trouble. Yes. I talked with tech support and am working on the problem. There’s more to do, but I guess it’s time to replace my computer. This is not something I want to do right now, but it’s also no fun having my computer crash continually, go as slow as molasses, and not be able to handle the work I do each day. Time, the most precious commodity, is being wasted. My frustration levels are increasing.

During the educational NERCPO conference this weekend, presenter Rubina Motta spoke about productivity and eliminating waste in your processes. She said waste is “anything that adds cost or time without adding value.” Was she talking to me? Rubina explained the “seven deadly wastes,” of which “waiting” was one of them. I understand how waiting is essential and unavoidable at times. However, waiting for my computer programs to load while the multicolored wheel spins or reboots because the computer froze again, I could do without.

There’s a quote by author L.R. Knost, who shares a perspective about life that is both realistic and hopeful. She said,

“Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it’s ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.”

“Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. ”

— L.R. Knost

I love Knost’s advice, which I’m going to follow right now.

I will breathe in the amazing as I . . .

• Marvel at the deep rich red maple leaves dotting the fall landscape

• Spend time with my loved ones

• Walk along the river and in the woods

• Enjoy the flavors, textures, and scents of the foods I eat

• Hear music that makes me well up with emotion

• What amazing things will you breathe in?

I will hold on through the awful as I . . .

• Figure out what tech steps are needed next

• Grieve for the family and friends who have passed

• What awful things are you navigating?

I will relax and exhale during the ordinary as I . . .

• Do my daily mindfulness meditation

• Practice yoga

• Journal

• Brush my teeth

• Shower

• Organize my days

• Get into bed at night

• What ordinary things are you relaxing into?

Life is a mix of emotions, experiences, joy, heartbreak, and more. Some days are more challenging than others. Extend extra compassion to yourself as you navigate life’s ups and downs. Breathe, hold on, and relax through all that is before you. What are you noticing now? What is your time and attention feeding? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

It’s a transition time as we shift from spring to summer. While it’s officially not summer yet, school has ended or is about to. Graduation parties and celebrations are in full swing, vacation plans, and summer camp arrangements are happening, and many of us want a change of pace. Life is full. There are times when days fly by with one thing after the next. No breaks, just a continual tempo of go, go, going. Does that sound familiar?

I strike a reasonable balance between doing and not doing on most days. However, my strong internal motivation makes it challenging to feel OK with not achieving, accomplishing, or moving the newest project forward. I recognize the importance of rest. I’m not talking about sleep. We definitely need sleep to function well. The rest I’m referring to is a pause or break. Taking a short time away from your schedule can significantly improve your state of mind. Meditate, sit in the sun, listen to the fountain water flowing, or watch the grasses moving in the breeze. If you continually go without stopping, you’ll burn out. What’s the point of that? Is it time for a pause?

This transition period can cause overwhelm and stress from the demands of your to-do lists, commitments, and lack of time. I’m sharing a personal journal entry I wrote recently about the value of the pause. During a retreat led by my wonderful friend and colleague, Yota Schneider, she guided us in a group meditation and offered a prompt about “What does your ship need?” We did a ‘free write,’ reflecting on what came up during the quiet.

LINDA’S JOURNAL ENTRY

A few thoughts were prompted by these things- my ‘wander’ coffee mug, being on the water in a kyack without my life preserver, and the desire to float.

Leaving the port or landing, I headed up the river in the bright fuschia-colored kyack. Low to the water, I paddled upstream and noticed I had no life preserver. I always wear one, but not this time.

I kept paddling and then stopped to float. The sun warmed me as the gentle breeze created a beautiful counterbalance- keeping my skin at a ‘just right’ temperature.

I was there on the river as I floated, doing nothing, going nowhere in particular. Enjoying the being-ness of being. I thought of my ‘wander’ mug that I love sipping my morning coffee from on certain days. The cup isn’t picked on the highly scheduled days. On those days, it's likely the ‘be curious’ mug I choose. But on my float days, ‘wander’ is the cup of choice.

So as I drifted without paddling, feeling the warm sun and the gentle breeze, I knew deep within my soul that it was my desire, my intense desire not only to NOT do but to be completely content not doing or accomplishing or seeking.

It was a float day. It was a time of wander, a time to just be present as my kyack, this soothing vessel helped me journey on this much-needed pause.

“If you continually go without stopping, you’ll burn out.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Is it time for a break? What value would that have? What does a great pause feel like to you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.