When change happens around and within us, it can be challenging to feel settled or figure out the next steps. In the northeast, with winter ending and spring on its way, the weather can vary wildly from 70 degrees and sunny one day to 20 degrees with a snowstorm the next. Do I bundle up in my winter gear or walk outside with just a light jacket? These are easy decisions.

We have mask mandates lifting, people fleeing and fighting for their lives, and babies coming into the world as elders pass on. Inflation is higher than it’s been in decades. Gas prices jumped 40 cents a gallon in one week, and let’s not even talk about the supply chain.

It’s a tumultuous time. You might feel various things, from being paralyzed to being energized. One thing that brings me great hope is working with my virtual organizing clients. They are dedicated to making changes in their lives and working towards their goals. It’s inspiring to be part of their journey and provide ongoing support. 

Sensing that we could all use an infusion of hope, this week, I’m sharing a personal journal entry I wrote recently during a retreat led by my wonderful friend and colleague, Yota Schneider. After she guided us in a group meditation, we did a ‘free write,’ reflecting on what came up during the quiet. 

 Linda’s Journal Entry

Tonight I needed to rest. My body lay down, the room was dark, and the magnificently scented candle burned. Yet my mind was in motion. There were no particular ideas but simply a running pile of words like a treadmill of thoughts. I needed to rest. 

An earlier thought came into focus, planted by the question, “What was the last time you felt joy and were inspired?” The answer came in a moment.

It was this morning. Before breakfast, I looked out of the low ground-level dining room window. In the last few days, I noticed the greenery of the first crocuses emerging from the earth, but no flowers. However, this morning when I looked out, there she stood – a beautiful, happy, healthy purple crocus about to open.

It wasn’t enough to see it through the window. I needed to get close. I went out through the back door, feeling the warm air on my skin. It felt good, like spring air. I crouched down low, getting as close as possible to the crocus to welcome her back.

Joy flooded my being. Memories of the years of ‘crocus sightings’ with our children came rushing back. Every spring, we constantly looked for the appearance of the crocus. Whoever spotted it would announce to the family with exuberance, “Look, look! The first crocus is here!” We’d gather and rush outside to see and admire its beauty.

But it wasn’t just its beauty then, nor was it this morning. The crocus is hope. It’s the comfort in knowing life has a cycle, growth is continual, and a new season has or is about to arrive.

On that early March morning, joy and inspiration were palpable. My lovely purple friend joined us yet again, growing towards the sun. I snapped a photo and sent it to our kids so they too could enjoy this beautiful sign of spring and of hopeful things to come.

“The crocus is hope.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

Finding next can be difficult when there is so much angst in our world near and far. Especially when life’s ups and downs are challenging, it can be helpful to revisit positive forces. Without hope, there is no next. My wish is you discover the small and big moments of joy and inspiration to hold close. Let them be your guide forward as you find next and feel more hopeful.

What brings you hope? How do you find next when life feels challenging? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Two of the most common reasons clients reach out to me for virtual organizing help are they feel stuck and overwhelmed. In those situations, paralysis and procrastination are often present. It can be challenging to find motivation, move forward, and take your next step. However, with this one solid strategy, you will make progress.

In The New York Times article by executive coach Brad Stulberg, “You’ve Done Self Care. You’ve Languished. Now Try This,” he focuses on the emotional effects of the pandemic. These include lacking motivation, feeling “blah,” being stuck, and feeling exhausted. Increasing self-care and reducing expectations haven’t been enough. 

As described by psychologist Adam Grant, the pandemic triggered languishing, “a sense of stagnation and emptiness … as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield.” Languishing can feel much like grief.

What happens when we introduce behavioral activation? Clinical psychologist Peter Lewinsohn developed this idea in the 1970s to help people with “depression, apathy and negative moods.” The underlying concept is that “action can create motivation.” 

This is something I regularly observe. We ruminate about what we want to accomplish, think about the piles of clutter, and stress about the best way to start organizing. We struggle to move past the thinking cycle. 

This is where action comes in. Clients often begin in an unclear, overwhelmed state at the start of a virtual organizing session. By the end of the one-hour session, they took action or identified a few small actionable next steps. We build from there- one action, one step, and one success at a time. Progress is made, motivation returns, and they keep moving ahead.

“While thinking is an integral part of progress, an action also needs to happen for movement to occur.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

Don’t underestimate the power of one tiny action. We can easily stay in our heads and feel like we’re working on the challenge. At a point, we need to do more. While thinking is an integral part of progress, an action also needs to happen for movement to occur.

Pause a moment. Where do you feel stuck or overwhelmed? What is one little action next step you can take to move forward? Does taking action create more motivation? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

It’s fascinating how big changes are made. They start with small, almost unnoticeable habit shifts. On your journey to be free of clutter, you donate a bag of rarely worn clothes or edit and clear the pile of unsorted mail from your kitchen counter. These tiny, single actions can bring about significant changes when consistency and support are added to your effort. 

The other aspect of making meaningful changes is the need for time and mental energy to make them happen. When you’re preoccupied, running as fast as you can to keep up, or emotionally exhausted, change is the last thing on your mind. You can’t stop your life to make a change. Instead, to integrate new habits, it’s essential to create space in your life for prioritizing the change you desire. 

In the last several years, I’ve experienced many emotional energy pulls. These included taking care of my mom with dementia, saying my final good-byes to her last March, grieving, navigating the pandemic’s effects on my organizing business, and preparing for and having our youngest daughter’s wedding at our home during the pandemic. Despite these emotional highs and lows, I’ve found focused intervals to bring about changes in my life. Admittedly, many of these changes came into being when I had more mental energy to give them.

Coincidentally, the three anchors/words, which rhyme, kept me motivated and focused on my desired changes. They are Zoom, Noom, and Room.

While these specific ideas might not be on your change radar, I encourage you to consider which words are. Which anchors will help you pursue the changes you seek? How will you make the space and time for change to flourish?

3 Hopeful Ideas Motivated Big Changes in My Life Which Can Help You Too

1. Zoom

Communication, relationships, and community are some of my treasured values. When the pandemic arrived, many communication networks halted. Most in-person contact was suspended. I couldn’t visit with family, friends, colleagues, or clients. Sure I still had the phone, text, and email, but physical contact was limited and non-existent for extended periods.

Using Zoom became an incredible go-to tool that helped me slowly change and think about how I interacted, did business, and stayed socially active. I’m guessing that many of you are Zoomed-out, but for me, Zoom continues to be a viable way for navigating life and keeping connected with people. 

I embraced communication changes and used Zoom to-

• Have bimonthly family meetings aka ‘SamFam Zoom’

• Host parties and gatherings for cocktails, New Year’s Eve, and Thanksgiving

• Attend comedy events, yoga class, Shivas, Seders, religious services, retreats, cook-offs, bonfires, and breakfasts

• Enjoy virtual ‘coffee dates’ with family and friends

• Continue my professional development

• Add to my certifications becoming a Certified Virtual Professional Organizer (CVPO™)

• Engage in organizing conferences, business meetings, and networking

• Present organizing workshops

• Pivot my business and help clients through virtual organizing

Zoom provided a channel to nurture and develop relationships, shift my organizing business, learn, and teach. While most in-person activities are now possible as many pandemic restrictions lift, Zoom still remains a viable way for me to stay connected. The platform allowed me to be flexible during these last few years, quickly embrace change, and support what I value most.

2.  Noom

Being healthy is a top priority for me. While I had some healthy practices like meditating daily and eating lots of fruits and vegetables, I wanted to change other habits. For what seems like a bazillion years, one of my goals has been to ‘lose 10 pounds.’ I’ve never been a dieter and didn’t like the idea of going on a diet. Instead, about five years ago, I saw a tremendously helpful nutritionist. She gave me a better understanding of what foods and portions were best for me. Over eight months, I lost 15 pounds. But then, in time, I gained it back and more.  The ongoing support was vital, and the difference was noticeable when I stopped seeing her.

Do you remember how I spoke about having the time and mental energy to bring about change? It takes focused effort to make eating and other lifestyle changes. When my mom died, I was emotionally exhausted. It took me months to get my energy back. When it returned, I felt ready to refocus on my health and make some changes.

In September, I signed up for Noom. It’s a weight loss app with a psychology-based approach to “help you change not just how you eat, but how you think.” It’s well-designed and simple to use. The app with built-in accountability helps me keep daily food logs, understand my calorie budget, track water intake, daily exercise, and weight. You are assigned a personal Coach and receive short articles every day, which encourage, motivate, and explain the psychology of habits.

While I’m still working towards my target goal, in five months, I have lost 18.5 pounds, I’m drinking 9 glasses of water a day, and walking an average of 10,000 steps a day. There have been other changes such as losing many inches around my body, clothing fitting better, feeling more energetic, learning new skills, and knowing I have a doable life-changing plan that’s working.

A bonus surprise was my husband signed up for Noom with me. He’s made incredible changes, and I’m so proud of him. We support one another, which is invaluable.

With any significant life change, it’s essential to have ongoing support, whether an app, person, Coach or all of those. If you’re curious about Noom, click here to learn more.

What do you need to bring about the habit changes you desire?

“Big changes start with small actions.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

3. Room

This last idea is about creating both physical and mental space in your life to feel calm, have room to think, and live with less stress. These changes were worth pursuing, and I have worked years to get there. For me, there is the physical manifestation, which comes in the form of an uncluttered home filled with colors, textures, and scents that soothe and delight. 

One of the goals I worked on last summer into fall, inspired by our vacation staying in a tiny house, was my ‘live with less’ project. While I had lots of stuff, I recognized I didn’t need or want it all. I started randomly going through drawers, closets, and files to let go of unnecessary things. It was cathartic and surprising how much stuff exited. I don’t miss anything.

The other part of ‘room’ is making space for your mental well-being. For me, that’s having quiet time, finding cozy spots to write, journal, or read, spending time in nature, exploring and photographing, meditating, or doing yoga. It’s making room for self-care and carving out time to feed my soul.

Especially with all that has happened in the world and the ongoing challenges, making time to replenish yourself is critical. It’s all too easy to get derailed by a crisis near or far. Our bodies are not designed to sustain continual stress.

What would it take to make room for you? What changes will help make room and space for your physical and emotional well-being?

Big changes start with small actions. What will be your anchors for change? What will provide motivation and support for the changes you desire? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

What is one of the biggest obstacles that prevent you from making the changes you want? Our automatic negative thoughts, aka ANTS, can be a change blocker. They can damage your self-esteem, make you doubt your decisions, stop you from reaching your goals, or keep you stuck in a loop of negativity. What becomes possible when you transform negative energy and shift to a positive, growth-oriented mindset? How could that change benefit you?

Recently I was struggling with some personal ANTS. I discovered several strategies for working with and changing persistent negative self-talk. Shower yourself with love. In celebration of February, the love month, I encourage you to keep those warm Valentine’s Day feelings alive and extend some extra love and compassion to yourself.

As you consider these strategies I learned, I hope they will help you reframe the negativity and flourish.

5 Ways to Empower Change by Quieting Your Negative Self-Talk

During a weekly Executive Mom Nest coaching session, Leesa Askew, an incredible colleague, Nest Advisor, and Transformational Coach, presented ideas about making your mindset an asset. To do that, she shared ways to “change the channel…change the programming.” Leesa learned these ANTS-busting strategies from Dr. Daniel Amen.

1. Write Affirmations

Create affirmations to counteract those ANTS. Write down three to five uplifting phrases you can repeat and keep in view. You can use your own words or find a favorite quote. This is one of Leesa’s personal favorites:

“I am always in the right place at the right time in the right state of mind.” 

If you feel stuck finding your words and want to try something fun, check out the interactive Affirmation Wheel my husband shared with me from Noom. When I clicked on the wheel, it coincidentally landed on this one:

“I have the power to create change.” 

How awesome is that? The next time doubt creeps in, I’ll have this affirmation ready to work its magic.

2.  Use Music

As Leesa said, music is a powerful force that “can stimulate the brain” and put you in a “subliminal trance.” She suggests creating a “Killing the ANTS Playlist.”  Which songs lift you up, bring a smile to your face, and shift your mood from crummy to happy? Music can completely alter how we feel. What songs will you include on your playlist? 

Here are several from mine:

• Respect – Aretha Franklin

• Happy – Pharrell Williams

• Better Together – Jack Johnson

• Stand By Me – Ben King

• Can’t Get What You Want – The Rolling Stones

• With A Little Help From My Friends – The Beatles

Pharrell Williams - Happy (video)

3. Get Physical

Interestingly, any type of physical activity can energize you and stop those negative thoughts from surfacing. Leesa shared how 25 jumping jacks can give you more energy than drinking two cups of coffee. Plus, physical movement has the added bonus of shifting your mindset to the positive. 

The next time your ANTS come marching in, stand up, get moving, and say bye-bye to the negativity. Take a brisk walk, go on a bike ride, dance around the house (using your new playlist, of course,) or do those 25 jumping jacks. You’ve got this!

“I have the power to create change.”

— Noom, Affirmation Wheel

Each week I receive Todd Henry’s 3 Things email, the “creative sparks to help you do better work.”  This week’s edition was well-timed because Todd included strategies for counteracting the negative “chatter” in your head. Hello, negative self-talk!

Todd referenced his podcast conversation with Dr. Ethan Kross, psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and author of Chatter – The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It.  I love these ideas Todd shared from the podcast with Dr. Kross, and I hope you do too.

4. Address Yourself

When negative self-talk takes over, “speak countering messages directly to yourself, and call yourself by name when you do it.” This is so powerful. If I rewrite my affirmation from number one above, it becomes,

“Linda, you have the power to create change.”

Coming in loudly and clearly. What message do you need to hear?

5. Welcome Growth

We often receive feedback, which may be unsolicited or not. When the comment isn’t favorable, doubt and negative self-talk can surface. I love this suggestion for redirecting that energy.

“Refuse to personalize critiques, but instead see them as an opportunity for growth.” 

Adopting the growth mindset is valuable in all situations. It shifts the focus from being defensive or thinking, ‘what’s wrong with me?’ to ‘what can I learn from this?’ 

Are there changes you’d like to pursue but find that ANTS create an obstacle? Which strategies resonate with you? Do you have other ways to counterbalance negative self-talk? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.