Posts tagged human
5 Life Lessons I Learned About Patience and Promising Progress

Recently, I reread the first blog post I wrote on waiting. As humans, waiting is something we do, yet we’re not always happy about it. We want things to happen quickly, effortlessly, and painlessly. However, things don’t often go that way. Our patience gets tested as waiting can be a challenging experience.

Maybe you’re working toward a big goal that might take months, years, or even decades. Perhaps your energy is low, and progress looks different from what it did earlier in your life. You might also lack clarity about your goal or what your next step will be.

Developing your internal resources, including patience, resilience, and agency, can be beneficial. You can also enlist help from external resources, such as haulers, handymen, trade specialists, a coach, a therapist, or a professional organizer like myself.

Progress is possible. Reaching your goals is doable. Gathering the resources to get there is essential.

Over the past few months, my husband and I have been working on some home projects. They have taken different amounts of time to complete, and some are still ongoing. The biggest obstacles were setting priorities and managing time constraints. To finish these projects, we had to decide that they were still important enough to pursue. Once we agreed on that, we scheduled the time to complete them. The scheduling was pivotal. Without planning and scheduling, nothing would have happened.

During the process, I reaffirmed and learned a few things. Hopefully, some of these will resonate with you and be useful as you pursue your goals and projects.

 

 

5 Life Lessons I Learned About Patience and Promising Progress

Life Lesson #1:  I can tolerate discomfort.

I love the final result when we improve our home. It’s hard for me to tolerate the temporary chaos that happens. Stuff gets pulled out of place, messes spread to multiple areas, and order and organization are disrupted.

I often tell my clients that things usually get worse before they get better. When you’re organizing a closet, for example, and things are pulled out, it doesn’t look great. But as you start editing, rerouting, discarding, and donating, clarity begins to emerge. Once you organize the “keepers,” everything looks and feels better. However, there's a tipping point in the middle of the project where discomfort can surface.

Even though I’m happy when we’re fixing things, I tend to feel more anxious and stressed when we’re in reno mode. That discomfort motivates me to finish what we started as soon as possible. Interestingly, I can easily handle disorder in spaces I don’t live in. But in my own home, I prefer a certain level of order, calmness, and predictability.

Although I prefer not to be uncomfortable, I am capable of tolerating discomfort. This is especially true when it’s temporary or for a good reason. Acknowledging this made me feel less stressed and more accepting of the chaos.

 

 

Life Lesson #2: I can transform temporary chaos into an opportunity to reimagine.

One of the benefits of taking things apart is having time to edit, question, and reimagine. We recently disrupted our entryway to spackle, paint, and do some electrical work. Doing that allowed me to let go of some things and reimagine the placement of certain items, like my Pez collection and one of the rugs.

I also felt inspired to repaint three of the cabinets. One is a big project, which I’ll wait to do in warmer weather. The other two cabinets will be done soon. Without being open to chaos and committing to the entryway project, these other projects might not move forward.

Chaos doesn’t have to be negative. It can be an opportunity to bring positive changes. The temporary chaos stirred my creativity and desire to make more improvements.

 

 

 

Life Lesson #3: I can finish what I start when I prioritize and plan.

This might seem obvious, but when you want to accomplish something, whether it’s organizing, home improvement, or changing a habit, dedicating time and energy to it is essential.

Deciding that something is a priority is the first step. This may involve temporarily setting other things aside while you focus your resources on the main goal. After all, you can accomplish a lot, but not all at once. Something has to give.

Once you've identified your priority, the next step is to schedule and plan dedicated time to work on it. For us, that meant working several evenings and weekends. Again, without blocking out specific calendar dates, it would not have been completed.

I can wish all I want, but without making it a priority and including it in a scheduled plan, it’s unlikely to happen. There is great potential and power in recognizing what I’m capable of when I prioritize and plan.

I can tolerate discomfort.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Life Lesson #4: I can feel the joy and satisfaction that come with progress.

Done is great, but so is progress. No goal happens with one step. Progress happens one step, one action, and one commitment at a time. When working on the renovation projects, Steve and I took a moment to appreciate the progress along the way.

Momentum is a powerful force. Taking action motivates you to do more. Experiencing progress encourages further movement. Progress is satisfying and joy-inducing.

Steve and I made sure to see, feel, talk about, and celebrate the progress we've made. It was no small feat to get some of these projects started. We embraced the positive feelings that came with making progress.

Do you know the expression, “Stop and smell the roses?” For this one, let’s pause and celebrate the progress. You took action and worked hard. Now, enjoy it!

 

  

Life Lesson #5: I can be awed by my bad-ass husband.

After 42 years of marriage, I am still amazed by my husband. He is a talented man who, among his many skills, knows how to cook, play the drums, coordinate large-scale architectural woodworking projects, and handle almost any type of home improvement or repair project. He’s also a devoted volunteer, a great listener, a wonderful father, and an incredible husband and life partner.

Whether he was finishing the glass tiles in the bathroom, doing electrical work, plumbing, cutting through walls, spackling the ceiling, or painting surfaces, he not only knew what to do but also had the right tools to do it. He also taught me how to do some things, so we could work together on projects. I love that!

I am constantly inspired by Steve’s work ethic, humanity, skills, design sense, dedication, and talent. He was willing to let go of perfection to do his best and finish projects. I’m grateful for and in awe of the incredible human he is. Thank you, Honey!

 

  

 

How Do Patience and Progress Manifest for You?

Patience, or the lack of it, is part of being human. In fact, impatience can sometimes drive progress. When you feel stuck, progress may seem out of reach. However, leaning into that urge to move forward and pushing your patience to its limit can be one way to make progress. Prioritizing and planning are also helpful. What helps you move ahead?

Which ideas resonate most with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 

 

 

How Can I Help?

Are you ready to make progress? Do you feel overwhelmed, stuck, or disorganized? I’m here to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – Local feel with a global reach.

Let’s talk. I’m easy to reach.

Getting organized and making progress is possible, especially with support.

 
 
What Becomes Immediately Achievable When You Get Out of Your Own Way?

The things you say or think can act as possibility-blockers, preventing you from moving forward. They can be subtle or obvious. You might not notice how these phrases get in your way.

The blockers may sound like:

  • “I can’t do this.”

  • “It’s too hard.”

  • “I can’t tolerate the discomfort.”

  • “I’m just not good at this.”

  • “I’m unable to figure this out.”

  • “I don’t know where to start.”

  • “I don’t have any skills.”

  • “Nothing ever seems to work out.”

  • “I’m really frustrated, and I don’t know what to do.”

  • “I never finish anything.”

  • “It has always been like this, and I can’t change it.

  • “I’m feeling totally overwhelmed.”

  • “Nobody ever taught me how to do this.”

  • “I can barely get through today, let alone think about tomorrow.”

  • “I’m stuck where I am.”

  • “I’m too busy and don’t have time to find a solution.”

  • “I can’t imagine what’s possible because my mind and space are so cluttered.”

That’s a lot to take in. Have you noticed yourself repeating any of these phrases? Maybe you have different go-to messages that aren’t helping you. Take a moment to identify which thoughts are shutting you down.

What did you find out?

Focusing on negative messages reinforces your lack of agency. You are paying attention to defeat. While you might not be able to eliminate negativity completely, there is hope. In fact, here is a three-step approach that can help. It consists of awareness, reframing, and action.

 

 

A Three-Step Approach: Transform the Impossible into Possible

Step 1: Develop Awareness

The only limits to the possibilities in your life tomorrow are the ‘buts’ you use today.
— Les Brown

Notice the messages that aren’t serving you. Each time you repeat them, those neural pathways in your brain become stronger. The applies to positive messages, too. Becoming aware of your thoughts is the first step in changing them.

  • Observe and record.

  • Write down your negative thoughts and messages without judgment.

  • Make a note of how frequently they ‘visit’ you.

 

 

Step 2: Experiment with Reframing

Take your mind off the problems for a moment, and focus on the positive possibilities. Consider how very much you are able to do.
— Ralph Marston

Once you recognize which negative messages appear and how often they do, you’re ready for this next step.

When you notice yourself repeating the undesired words, use that as a cue to reframe them. Make a mental or written note. Intentionally craft a statement that reduces the power of negative thoughts and promotes healthier, more proactive messages.

Reframing examples:

  •  “I can’t do this,” can become “I’m learning to do this.”

  • “I don’t know where to start,” can become “Just start anywhere.”

  • “Nobody ever taught me how to do this,” can become “I can learn and will ask for help.”

  • “Nothing ever seems to work out,” can become “The past doesn’t have a hold over my future.”

 

  

Step 3: Do Something

The possibilities are numerous once we decide to act and not react.
— George Bernard Shaw

Negative messages can cause doubt and inaction. One way to overcome them is by taking action. After trying out the reframes, you’re ready to move on to this last step.

Ask yourself, “What tiny action can I take to move this project or situation forward?”

Make the action as small and simple as possible. That’s where the real change begins. By doing something, you shift from “I can’t” to “I can.”

Taking action changes your thinking and behavior. It helps you move from feeling stuck to being proactive.

Action also helps you to:

  • Be more creative when facing challenges,

  • Build momentum,

  • Foster a sense of agency,

  • Achieve your goals, and

  • Nourish hope.

 

 

 

 

What Is Possible When You Change Your Message?

You’re human. You’ll have internal and external messages that are negative and unhelpful. However, by learning to acknowledge, reframe, and take action, you can change the course of today and the future. Words and thoughts matter. Are yours supporting or hindering your growth? Change the messages so you can thrive.

Which ideas resonate most with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

 

 

 

 

How Can I Help?

Do you feel overwhelmed, stuck, or disorganized? I’m here to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – Local feel with a global reach.

Let’s talk. I’m easy to reach.

 

Getting organized and making progress is possible, especially with support.

 
 
4 Ways to Enjoy Thanksgiving More with Some Remarkable EASE

We’re here, folks! Thanksgiving week is upon us. As I’ve talked with people about their holiday plans, I’ve heard a wide range of responses. Some are feeling completely stressed, while others are pretty relaxed. Are you at one extreme or somewhere in between?

The differences in how people are feeling revolve around things like . . .

  • Are they hosting or being a guest?

  • Are you bringing part of the meal to the host’s home?

  • Will you be cooking, catering, or dining out instead?

  • How many people will be at the event?

  • Are you feeling organized enough or completely disorganized?

  • Are you concerned about family dynamics or drama?

  • How much traveling is involved?

  • Is your Thanksgiving tradition the same, or will it be different this year?

  • Are too many non-holiday things happening in your life right now?

  • Are you missing loved ones who are unable to be with you?

  • What? Thanksgiving is this week?

Which questions resonate with you? How are they influencing your approach and attitude about the holidays?

 

EASE: Embrace, Arrange, Savor, Express

I created a short acronym, EASE, to help you enjoy Thanksgiving more. This simple phrase works for everyone but is especially useful if you feel stressed or overwhelmed by this holiday or upcoming ones.

Breathe in EASE as you focus on engaging each idea.

  • Embrace imperfection and unpredictability.

  • Arrange simple, meaningful gatherings.

  • Savor the flavors, conversations, and moments.

  • Express gratitude for those things, big and small.

1. Embrace imperfection and unpredictability.

Embrace melds two ideas: Let go of perfection and acknowledge that life, let alone holiday gatherings, can be unpredictable. Focus on ‘good enough’ to soften perfectionistic tendencies. In addition, I remind myself of the many kooky things that happened at past Thanksgivings. We’re talking turkey catching on fire, EMS rescuing a guest who passed out, and almost pouring all of the gravy (that took days to make) down the kitchen drain.

While unpredictability might result in initial panic followed by quick action, the memories can evolve into fun and memorable Thanksgiving lore.

 


2. Arrange simple, meaningful gatherings.

Arrange encourages you to entertain in a meaningful and doable way. So, if cooking isn’t your thing, think about ways to make this aspect easier. Maybe it means letting someone else host, and you bring wine or dessert. Perhaps it means hosting but buying pre-made foods. Or maybe you’re going all out with hosting but simplifying the number of dishes you make.

More than what dishes you serve, the time spent together makes the holidays meaningful.

Focus on ‘good enough’ to soften perfectionistic tendencies.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

3. Savor the flavors, conversations, and moments.

To savor means thoroughly enjoying and appreciating something, especially by lingering on its lovely qualities. There are so many opportunities to savor on Thanksgiving. I love the scents and tastes of this holiday. I can’t wait to bite into a section of a juicy pomegranate with its garnet-colored tart and sweet seeds, smell the hot apple cider simmering on the stove, or hug and talk with my loved ones.

A mindful presence will bring ease as it helps you engage more deeply with foods, people, and moments of connection and love.

 

4. Express gratitude for those things, big and small.

Being intentional about what you’re grateful for profoundly benefits your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. For example, gratitude is a natural stress reducer, fosters resilience, strengthens relationships, encourages kindness, improves sleep, boosts self-esteem, reduces negativity, and cultivates mindfulness.

While gratitude is often associated with and promoted more during the holiday season, expressing gratitude is a practice and awareness that can be integrated into every day.

Acknowledging even one thing you are grateful for will bring you more ease.

  

Human-Centered Thanksgiving

Approaching the holidays with EASE will help you focus on what’s most important and let go of what isn’t. You’ll feel less stressed, more joyful, and calmer. What can you do to infuse more ease into your holidays? I’d love to hear your thoughts and invite you to join the conversation.

Do you want help decluttering, organizing, brainstorming, or planning? Have you experienced the benefits of having an accountability partner? I’m here for you. Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – A local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.

 
 
5 Courageous Coping Strategies When Life Feels Out of Control

There are times when life goes sideways. The unthinkable happens, and you feel you have no control over anything. Your mood is dark, and hope is barely accessible. Cognitively, you understand there are no guarantees in life and that chaos is present. Yet, how do you cope? What can you do when nothing makes sense, and things feel out of control?

I don’t pretend to have the answers or know what you’re experiencing. I’m navigating this challenging time, too. Yet, I have a few strategies that are helping me, which might be helpful to you.

Instead of focusing on the areas you have no control over, shift your attention. Identify and engage in what is nourishing and within your control.

 

 

5 Courageous Coping Strategies When Life Feels Out of Control

1. Supercharge Your Self-Care

Take care of yourself. During stressful times, you might ignore the basics. However, doing that makes you feel worse and less able to cope with challenges.

Recommit to self-care basics. Get enough sleep, hydrate, eat nutritiously, and move your body. Walking in nature has additional mood-boosting benefits.

Beyond essential self-care, consider getting a massage, manicure, or pedicure. Or how about taking a yoga, exercise, or meditation class?

Be kind to yourself and engage in intentional, mood-enhancing activities within your control.

Recommit to self-care basics.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

 2. Engage With Your Community

You might want to retreat when feeling out of sorts. However, I encourage you to do the opposite. Reach out to those who are also feeling ‘it.’ You’re not alone.

Your friends and family may be struggling, too. Connect with your loved ones. Pool your strengths while offering and receiving support.

 

3. Curate the Input

Scrolling social media, listening to the news, and fueling the fire may not be the healthiest choice. Cut yourself off (even if temporarily) when the external input you’re allowing adds to those out-of-control feelings.

Just as I encouraged you to eat nutritious foods to nourish your body, do something similar for your mind. Curate the input to minimize anxiety-producing thoughts and maximize ones with a more positive effect.

This could be a great time to read that new book or your favorite magazine from cover to cover. Or maybe you prefer to watch a comedy show or movie.

I’m not suggesting you ignore the outside world forever, but for this day, while building your resilience, choose to disengage with stress-inducing news. Control the input.

Identify and engage in what is nourishing and within your control.
— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

4. Make Something

There is a gift in making something from nothing. What kind of something? Maybe you like to bake, write blog posts or in journals, take photographs, write poetry, or knit scarves. Perhaps you want to paint, write music, do a craft project, or create fancy cocktails.

Take control of a joy-inducing physical activity and make something. Enjoy the process and the result.

I’ve already journaled and worked on this post. Guess what else I did? I baked (and ate) some Almond Butter Chocolate Chip cookies. Fortunately, these cookies are not only delicious but also nutritious. I just have to remember to eat them in moderation. Wish me luck.

 

 

5. Declutter Your Space

Physical disorganization and chaos in your environment can affect how you feel and function. The disarray adds to a feeling of lack of control. You don’t know where things are or have the mind space to focus.

There is mood-boosting power in decluttering and organizing. The act of doing, making a change, and then experiencing the benefits of that shift is palpable.

You can’t control everything, but you can improve your corner of the world (or desk).

 

 

Human Coping Skills

Remember, you are resilient, and you have people to lean on. To help navigate challenging times, exert control in tiny yet significant ways. This won’t change everything, but it will help to calm and ground you. What coping strategies do you use when life feels chaotic?

If you need help decluttering, organizing, planning, or grounding, I’m here for you. Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Organization and ease are possible, especially with support.