When we think about how we spend our time, we often associate feelings with describing them further. For instance, we might think about being with the family at the beach as a happy time or a time when a loved one died as heart-wrenching. However, time is not only a container that includes appointments, events, and milestones, but it also is flavored by the emotions that arise. Lately, I am more aware of the connection between what happens at a given period and the feelings that accompany them.

Why does this matter? By making the connection, we can better understand why we are motivated to engage in certain activities yet procrastinate with others. This can help us to get unstuck or extend some grace when we need it most. Our emotions are clues to our inner experience. We might not always have the words to describe what we’re feeling. Instead, we can notice sensations in the body like tightness in the shoulders, a clenched jaw, or butterflies in the belly. These sensations indicate how you are feeling at that moment in time. 

4 Lessons I Learned About Time and Feelings

Feeling Late

You’re right. Late isn’t an emotion. But that uncomfortable feeling I experience with being late is. Due to a series of events and happenings, my blog post is going live today, a Wednesday, instead of the typical Sunday. I could have skipped this week, but I won’t be able to post next week. So, I decided to break from my pattern and just go for it, even though it’s late. But you know what? I’m doing it, but it feels strange. I prefer being punctual and consistent.

My lesson learned:  Stretch outside of my comfort zone. While I regularly post on the same day each week, it’s OK to make an occasional exception to my own rule. That’s being flexible.

Feeling Anxious

Life is opening up again after a year of lockdowns, restrictions, and closings. This is a positive development on all fronts. However, the speed at which things are reopening has created some discomfort. Some of us are ready to do everything at full throttle, while others (like me) feel more cautious. I’m experiencing so many firsts all at once. They include having the annual doctor visits I missed last year, staying in a hotel, eating in a restaurant, being mask-less in public, and entertaining people IRL (in real life!) These were accompanied by trepidation and anxiety.

My lesson learned: Doing something for the first time or the first time in a long time can feel scary and anxiety-producing. However, I survived, and the next time will be so much easier.

“Time is not only a container that includes appointments, events, and milestones, but it also is flavored by the emotions that arise.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

Feeling Relaxed

My husband gifted me a kayaking date as my Mother’s Day present. I love kayaking, and he knows it! What a wonderful feeling to be on the Croton River with the bright sun, warm air, and soothing water. While there is paddling involved, I also spent time in the kayak just floating. It was during the non-paddling time that I felt especially relaxed. I wasn’t trying to get anywhere or exert physical energy. I simply glided gently along the water.

My lesson learned: Even during exertion, you can find relaxation. It’s there in the stillness and the pause.

Feeling Excited

Other than taking a walk around the house or block, many of us stayed put last year- no traveling, overnights, or day trips. We kept close to home with a few exceptions. While I’m not ready to get on an airplane or use public transportation, I am looking forward to some car trips. This summer, we scheduled some vacation time. It’s with excited anticipation that I’ll have time with family and friends at beaches, rivers, mountains, and cities.

I’m looking forward to exploring new and familiar places, face-to-face conversations, and all of the hugs.

My lesson learned: There is gratitude in waiting. Missing provides an opening to be thankful for the people and places I so sorely missed.

Have you noticed a connection between your time and emotions? Do any of these resonate with you, or have you discovered other patterns? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

There are numerous ways to describe our experience of time. We talk about wasting, spending, or investing time. We ponder the ways time moves slowly or quickly, depending on the situation. We think about not having enough time in the day or having too much time on our hands.  We consider the length of time projects take or procrastinate with the time we have. Yet, we know that every person has the same 24 hours each day to manage and live life.

With our time, we do all kinds of things like working, playing, sleeping, relaxing, stressing, organizing, traveling, relationship-building, meditating, gardening, walking, running, dancing, learning, loving, reflecting, worrying, creating, driving, eating, connecting, talking, writing, emailing, Zooming, and many other “ings.”

I came across a quote by Atomic Habits author, James Clear, who offers a direct perspective about time. He said, “Your life is purchased by where you spend your attention.”  How powerful is that? 

“Your life is purchased by where you spend your attention.”

— James Clear

When you look at where your time and attention go, it tells the story of your life. Where do you invest? If you did a time audit for the week and noted what you do each hour, what would you discover? For many of us, approximately one-third of our time is spent sleeping. What about the other two-thirds? There are a million discoveries to make by analyzing where your attention goes. You might be surprised.

Why does this matter? If you want more or less of something in your life, doing a time audit can help you figure out how to make a change. For example, if you feel overwhelmed by clutter, a time audit could help you understand why the clutter is stuck. Perhaps you have included worrying, but not actual decluttering into your days.

“Every person has the same 24 hours each day to manage and live life.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

One of the things I admire so much about my virtual organizing clients is their dedication to change. Each week they intentionally invest time with their organizing goals through our sessions and the independent work they do on their own. They are shifting their attention from collecting and piling to letting go and organizing.

What will your time audit reveal? Even if your balance is the way you want, an audit can still be illuminating. It gives you the confidence to keep doing what you are doing. But if things are not as you desire, do some investigating. I’m excited about the discoveries you will make. I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

For years, possibly decades, I spoke with my mom at least once a day. Over time, as her dementia worsened, the phone was no longer a viable way to communicate. I miss our conversations. Our calls frequently were about the people we loved and the time spent together. She’d say, “That’s the good stuff!”  She always communicated a deep sense of gratitude for her family, friends, music, art, and the preciousness of time. 

As the world begins to start, pause, and restart, so much uncertainty and distress exist. What life will look like a month or year from now is impossible to know. Yet, each day we forge forth with work, family, projects, and life. We move ahead despite the considerable uncertainty. It can feel exhausting, overwhelming, or scary. In your mix of doing, are you making time to notice and embrace the “good stuff?”

What is on your “good stuff” list? Here are some of mine:

• Waking up each morning

• Opening my eyes after meditating 

• Taking the first sip of coffee from my favorite mug

• Holding hands with my husband

• Hearing the sound of rain hitting the window panes

• Walking by the river

• Hugging my daughter, especially after being apart for six months

• Baking lemon blueberry muffins

• Picking herbs from my mini garden

• Capturing images of people, places, and nature with my camera

• Swimming in my friend’s pool

• Hearing birds sing

• Touching a very soft blanket

• Sitting quietly

• Biting into a big, juicy piece of watermelon

• Writing with my favorite pen

• Watching the leaves rustle in the breeze

• Having a conversation (phone, Zoom, or in-person) with a friend or loved one

• Relaxing in the hammock

• Eating a chocolate brownie Yasso pop

• Seeing my client experience an “ah-ha” moment during their virtual organizing session

• Writing in my journal

• Watching a good movie, or even a bad one

• Kayaking on any river

• Discovering new tomatoes growing on my cherry tomato plant

• Being still during the last ten minutes of yoga class

• Discovering vibrantly colored flowers

• Reading a good book

• Learning something new

• Getting into bed at the end of the day

“In your mix of doing, are you making time to notice and embrace the good stuff?”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®

Time is a gift. Some of our time will be spent navigating the daily doings of life. Included with responsibilities and commitments are also those things that make your heart sing. Or, as my mom would say, “the good stuff.” What is one thing you include on your list? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation!

Change can be challenging. We often want the result, yet we aren’t ready to do the necessary work. That work can involve rethinking beliefs or letting go of physical or emotional clutter. It’s incredible how quickly change can happen when you harness time, motivation, and opportunity. At home, I recently experienced the confluence of these forces. I was surprised and delighted by what transpired. I hope my discoveries will help you with the change you seek.

The story begins with some context. We had the joy of having our youngest daughter and husband-to-be here for her birthday, our anniversary, and Father’s Day weekend. Due to COVID-19, we hadn’t seen them in many months, and it was incredible to be physically present. My heart is still full. To prepare, we quarantined and minimized outside exposure pre-visit, stayed healthy, and felt confident about being together.

One of our conversations was about their upcoming fall wedding. It’s no surprise that due to the pandemic, they altered their plans. They will have a small wedding hosted at our house with a virtual component. During our discussion about how to accommodate the social distancing concerns for the few in-person guests, we laid out chairs in our greenhouse, where the ceremony will be to visualize how this will work.

“It’s incredible how quickly change can happen when you harness time, motivation, and opportunity.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®

A bit of background is helpful. Our greenhouse has been used for many things. It was a space to ride tricycles or do rainy day picnics when the girls were young. We used it for Cajun dance parties, a place to display the porcelain sign collection, and the bar location for holiday gatherings. It is a workspace for my husband’s woodworking machines and tools, a place to keep our Barber’s chairs, and, most recently, a room to actually grow plants. 

To allow proper social distancing in the greenhouse for the wedding guests, we needed more empty space. Approximately half of the room was filled with equipment, wood, and miscellaneous items that were no longer working or used. There were “someday” project supplies being stored too. Since Cassie and Matthew were over, they offered to help my husband, Steve, to move his equipment so we could increase the floor space for guests.

My husband is a talented man with many skills and hobbies. He’s also a collector of numerous things, including large equipment. And while he’s willing to let go, this isn’t easy for him. He enjoys collecting, and the Boy Scout in him likes to be prepared. Also, he has emotional attachments, as do I, to some things from the past. Believe me, I get it.

However, to my great surprise, during our discussions about moving “the stuff in the greenhouse,” it became clear that he was ready to let go of a few things. The decluttering began with one or two items and turned into him releasing a large quantity. So many things went. I placed ads on Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace for people to pick up items for free. Within a few hours, most of the curbside piles were gone. 

The Confluence of Three Forces That Encourage Change

Time.

So why was Steve able to let go and allow this change to happen after almost two decades? It turns out that time helped him get ready. You can’t push people before they are willing. He recognized that the items that had been useful and relevant were not anymore. He felt happy and lighter when he let things go. We’re both still smiling. I am so proud of him for his willingness to ask some hard questions, make big decisions, and let go.

Motivation.

Steve was highly motivated because we needed more space for the upcoming wedding ceremony. Never underestimate the value of a compelling motivation such as a significant life event (i.e., wedding, divorce, job loss, move, new baby) to facilitate decision-making and change.

Opportunity.

Cassie and Matthew were physically here, which presented an opportunity to do the work. We weren’t expecting it, but they offered to help. They were non-judgmental and gracious about talking things through, supporting Steve with his decisions, and schlepping stuff to the curb. Thank you, Cassie and Matthew! We feel more wedding-ready.

Enjoy this 20-second time-lapse video Matthew took during a portion of the greenhouse clear-out. The actual time we worked took many hours.

Has time, motivation, or opportunity influenced a change you’ve experienced? Are there ideas that resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation!