Do you find it challenging to let go of things? If so, you’re not alone. One of the phrases I frequently hear from my clients during the decision-making process is, “I might need it someday.”  Have you heard or said that?

Recently, one of my clients shared a passage from the CliftonStrengths assessment she took, which described her top strength, Input. She said the narrative deeply resonated with her. Since I thought this would interest you, I asked her permission to share it.

Input – CliftonStrengths 34

“You are inquisitive. You collect things. You might collect information-words, facts, books, and quotations- or tangible objects such as butterflies, baseball cards, porcelain dolls, or sepia photographs. Whatever you collect, you collect it because it interests you. And yours is the kind of mind that finds so many things interesting. The world is exciting precisely because of its infinite variety and complexity. If you read a great deal, it is not necessarily to refine your theories but, rather, to add more information to your archives. If you like to travel, it is because each new location offers novel artifacts and facts. These can be acquired and then stored away. Why are they worth storing? At the time of storing it is often hard to say exactly when or why you might need them, but who knows when they might become useful? With all those possible uses in mind, you really don’t feel comfortable throwing anything away. So you keep acquiring and compiling and filing stuff away. It’s interesting. It keeps your mind fresh. And perhaps one day some of it will prove valuable.”

The idea, “I might need it someday,” can be answered with more questions. Tease out the value of that “thing” you are holding onto. I don’t advocate letting go for the sake of that alone. Releasing comes from a place of readiness and purpose. What might have been of value to you in the past may no longer feel as useful or essential.

“Releasing comes from a place of readiness and purpose.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

What is your goal? Is it to live with less, reduce clutter, or downsize a lifetime of belongings? Is it to release the weight of the past to make space for how you want your life to be now? Holding onto things for “someday” may feel less relevant for certain things. There are no hard and fast rules here. It’s more of an opportunity to examine and use your curiosity to ask great questions. Your decision will become clear.

Click here for 21 letting go questions. Which one speaks to you? What helps you let go? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

In my life and the organizing work, I do with clients, letting go can be accompanied by loss and intense emotions. Loss can be of a loved one, a move away from a treasured home, a change in family structure, or a job.

Even when a change is something we want, letting go of what was, is inevitable. Because without letting go, we cannot move forward and remain stuck in the past. For some, letting go can be freeing. For others, the process is painful. It depends on the person and circumstance.

Letting Go Slowly

My mom died last month. I’ve been thinking a lot about the ways I’ve had to let go in these years. There has been letting go of her as her dementia worsened, along with the physical stuff that she owned. About four years ago, we moved mom from her home of almost 60 years into a memory care unit in an assisted living facility. At that time, I cleared out and sold her house. This was the home I grew up in and that our family gathered in for almost six decades. 

There was so much letting go that happened then. While the family wanted many of my parents’ belongings, there were many things they didn’t take. The leftovers were sold, recycled, donated, or discarded. We let go of the house contents and then the actual house. It was necessary, but I felt a profound loss and shift. 

More Letting Go

By the time I moved my mom into The Ambassador, her possessions fit into the contents of one room. She had just what she needed. No more. No less. I decorated her room before moving in so she would feel comfortable being surrounded by her favorite art, music, family photos, and piano.

After she died, I cleared out her room. It struck me how simple the process was compared to clearing out her home. The most challenging work I already did. But I noticed something interesting. While I had loving offers from my husband and kids to help pack up her room, I needed to do it myself. For me, part of letting go included touching her things one last time. I carefully packed up the framed pictures. I washed and gently folded her clothes before passing them on. For so many years, I had taken care of my mom and all of her things. I wanted to give them one last loving touch goodbye as I packed them up and routed them to family or the donation place.

“Letting go requires patience, time, readiness, and space to get there.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

Balancing Loss

Grief isn’t something you get over. It’s something you live with that never entirely goes away but varies in intensity. I said earlier that one reason we let go is so we can move forward. And I get that. I believe that. But I also know that letting go requires patience, time, readiness, and space to get there. To help balance the emotions and grief, I’ve spent a lot of time these past weeks taking walks, resting, meditating, writing, talking with family and friends, getting fresh air, noticing the spring flowers, and being in the woods or near water. These help me focus on the present, reflect on the past, slowly let go, and move on. 

Some types of letting go are more energizing. This one, losing my mom and wrapping up her life, feels different. I’m being gentle with myself as I continue letting go, handle the remaining details of mom’s life, and find my way forward.

Is letting go a challenge for you? Does it feel different when it is accompanied by loss? What helps you let go? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

It’s fairly common not to notice. We get used to the environment we live in and ignore problematic areas and situations. Our piles of clutter blend in with the walls and furniture. Searching for misplaced belongings is our norm. Mindfulness becomes a missing ingredient in our days.

Something surprising happened to me recently, and it made me think about this idea of what we notice or don’t. It was a gorgeous weekend day. I was outside happily trimming one of our shrubs. After about ten minutes, slightly below my eye level, I was surprised by an enormous bright green praying mantis perched quietly on a leafy branch. Being almost the same color as the shrub, she blended right in. I took her photo and continued trimming as she sat. I moved around several times to cut other sprigs and then returned to see if the praying mantis was still there. It always took me a few seconds to find her because she was so well camouflaged. Yet in the next moment, nestled in the greenery, she came into my view.

Let’s revisit the mindfulness idea. What do you notice? What things are invisible, even though they are right before you? One of the questions I ask clients during our first conversation is, “What prompted your call?”  While the exact reasons vary tremendously, there is one common thread. They reached a tipping point where they could no longer ignore their overwhelm, clutter, or disorganization. The blinders were off, and their challenges were fully visible.

“For change to happen, we first need awareness.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

For change to happen, we first need awareness. Without being mindful about our challenges, we are like that camouflaged praying mantis. We can’t change what we don't see. Noticing isn’t enough, though. We also need a desire and motivation to change. Even with seeing our challenges, desiring change, and feeling motivated, we might also need help. So if you are at that point of overwhelm, awareness, and readiness, but are feeling stuck, reach out for help from a trusted friend, family member, or professional organizer like me. 

What has become visible to you that had been hiding from your view? In what ways does mindfulness influence your daily experience? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.