Letting go is a main focus of my work with clients. They feel overwhelmed and burdened by the stuff in their lives and want my help to let go, organize, and live with more ease. The “stuff” appears as rooms overflowing with physical belongings, calendars scheduled with no breathing space, or minds filled with a barrage of ideas and thoughts.

Recently, I viewed letting go from another perspective. I had the great joy of meeting with my Westchester NAPO Neighborhood Group organizing colleagues for a field trip and tour of a local auction house, The Benefit Shop in Mt Kisco, NY. This is where the things that have been let go of land on their way to their new home.

Our group was graciously welcomed by Pam Stone, Founder and President of The Benefit Shop Foundation Inc. After working on Wall Street for over two decades, Pam changed careers to pursue her passion project. She set up The Benefit Shop, a charitable 501(c)3 non-profit. Proceeds from sales (100% of the profit) go to over 40 charities, which directly help local community organizations. As Pam said, “I really wanted the beneficiary to be my community, for the people who live and work here.”

How Letting Go is Facilitated

The Benefit Shop is what Pam refers to as “one-stop shopping.” They accept items for:

• Donation

• Consignment or

• Estate Buyout

You can bring your things to their 16,000-square-foot gallery and office space. Or, depending on your location, they will bring a truck and a team to you, pack up what you’re letting go of, and transport it to their facility to prepare for auction and sale. With estate buyouts, they will take 90% of a house’s contents.

Pam suggests tagging your items using a colored sticker system.

• Red = Keep

• Green = Go

• Yellow = Think on it.

If you’re not ready to let go of everything at once, they recommend that clients “think on it," which allows them to release things in stages.

They also encourage clients to contribute to the catalogue entries by sharing stories and histories about their objects. Capturing the object’s story enhances its saleability and helps the client feel better about letting go.

“Let go, organize, and live with more ease.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

How Do the Auctions Work?

The Benefit Shop hosts weekly online auctions. They sell around 3,000 items each month to a global audience.

• All bids, with a few exceptions, start at $1.

• Items sold at auction are reconciled within 45 days.

• Clients receive 65%, and The Benefit Shop keeps 35%.

• Consignors receive a tax-deductible receipt along with their settlement checks.

• Unsold items can be donated or retrieved by the consignor.

• The Benefit Shop doesn’t provide shipping for purchased auction items. You can either pick them up at their office or arrange for shipping. They offer resources for several vetted and recommended shipping vendors.

Letting Go Considerations

Are you curious which items are the easiest or most difficult to sell at auction?

Pam said that jewelry (fine and costume) and handbags consistently sell well.

Large china cabinets and dark wood furniture are not good sellers. While mid-century furniture is popular, only high-end, name-recognizable brands such as Eames, Knoll, or Saarinen sell well at auction. The Danish teak mid-century modern style of furniture doesn’t do well.

More Fun Facts About The Benefit Shop

Organization

I was impressed by the organization at The Benefit Shop.

• Items for sale are logged in, tagged, and grouped by category.

• They get coded and routed for the auctions in which they will be included.

• Each category has separate sections at the facility, such as housewares, textiles, clothing, purses, jewelry, art, and furniture.

• There is a photography area for taking quality photos of every piece.

The Shop Mascot

When you enter the space, a giant taxidermy elk is one of the first things you see. When I asked about it, Pam said it wasn’t for sale because it has become their gallery mascot.

Pop-Ups and Cash & Carry

• Aside from the online auctions, they also hold occasional onsite pop-up events at their place.

• In the gallery, there is also a $1 only group of items to purchase as ‘cash and carry’. The items are sold and replenished regularly.

Why Let Go?

It was fun visiting a place representing so many decisions to let go of stuff. The objects received were treated with care and respect. It felt good knowing these things would go to a good home, stay out of the landfill, and the proceeds would help those in need.

The Benefit Shop Foundation

The Westchester NAPO Neighborhood Group visits Pam Stone, Founder and President of The Benefit Shop Foundation in Mt. Kisco, NY

Where Do Your Things Go?

When you let go of things, where do they go? Do you have favorite charities? Have you used auction houses? What helps you release things that have overstayed their welcome?  I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

How Can I Help?

Do you want support organizing, editing, or letting go? I’d love to help! Virtual organizing is an extraordinary path forward – Local feel with a global reach.

Please schedule a Discovery Call, email me at linda@ohsorganized.com, or call 914-271-5673. Letting go is possible, especially with support.

What happens when you have so many possibilities? Do you feel overwhelmed? Do you get stuck? Are you unable to make decisions or take action? It’s terrific to have options and know there are lots of possibilities. However, when the scope is too large, the choices can feel more like a burden than an inspiration.

Last week, I attended the ICD conference near Boston with over 100 organizing colleagues from around the globe. It felt amazing to be together in person again, be with my colleagues, and meet new friends. We learned from incredible experts during seven 90-minute sessions. It was wonderful, intense, and emotional. There were sessions about dementia, hoarding, neurodiversity, ADHD, anxiety, time management, and mindset.

By the end, my brain felt drippy, like a sponge that couldn’t absorb more liquid. Of course, I want to share everything I learned with you. As I sat to write this, I got overwhelmed by the options and possibilities. So, guess what? I’m dialing it back from my 16 pages of notes to share information from five of the sessions. I hope the ideas open up something for you- a new perspective, reframe, or possibility.

5 Powerful Ways Learning Encourages Possibilities

1. DEMENTIA | “I am who I am. I’m just different.”

Beth Nolan, PhD, the Director of Research and Policy for Teepa Snow’s Positive Approach to Care™ (PAC), said there are 100+ causes and types of dementia. One way to help is to understand while dementia “robs” the person of many things, they still have skills and strengths. Identify and focus on those.

My mom was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2013 and passed away in 2021. While many of her abilities were compromised over those eight years, I was always inspired by what remained, like her ability to make music, play the piano, sing, and express love. She was still my mom, just different.

2. HOARDING | “Hoarding isn’t just a house problem. It’s a mental health problem.”

Dr. David Tolin, the Founder and Director of the Anxiety Disorders Center at the Institute for Living and Adjunct Professor of Psychiatry at Yale University School of Medicine, said Hoarding Disorder became a standalone diagnosis in the 2013 DSM-5. The hallmarks of the disorder are having difficulty discarding or parting with possessions and having a visible manifestation of clutter build up with the home no longer useable for its intended purpose.

For people with Hoarding Disorder, “Saving happens because tossing is distressing, not liberating or freeing.”

Dr. Tolin shared these statistics:

• The drive to acquire and save affects 2-5% of the population worldwide.

• Hoarding Disorder is twice as common as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

• Hoarding Disorder begins at a young age (6-16) and worsens with age. It does not get better on its own.

While Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one of the most successful treatment methods for Hoarding Disorder, it is not 100% effective. Through continuing research, Dr. Tolin is committed to better understanding the psychology and biology of hoarding behavior and discovering ways to boost CBT’s efficacy.

“Saving happens because tossing is distressing, not liberating or freeing.”

— Dr. David Tolin

3. NEURODIVERSITY | “The value of life can’t and shouldn’t be based on productivity. It leaves a lot of people out.”

Devon Price, PhD, a social psychologist, professor, researcher, author, and proud Autistic person, was diagnosed with autism after finishing his PhD and experiencing “autistic burnout.”

Some of autism’s distinguishing characteristics include sensory input challenges, such as loud sounds and eye contact, which are painful. Processing is slower, but it’s a strength because they catch small details and are more detail-oriented. However, because the world moves fast, it doesn’t support how they process, so they feel more disabled.

Devon prefers identity-first language- “autistic person,” “autistic,” and “disabled person.” He said to avoid “differently abled” or “special needs.”

4. ADHD | “Successful ADHD women look successful on the outside and feel inadequate on the inside.”

Linda Roggli, PCC, creator of the ADHD Palooza series, a Professional Certified Coach, and author and founder of the A-D-Diva Network for ADHD women 40-and-better said she has an “ADHD brain.” 

The ADHD inattentive type is most prevalent in women. Some distinguishing factors include a busy brain, low energy, high worry, inability to concentrate, being distracted by one’s thoughts, daydreaming, difficulty following through and prioritizing, misplacing things, being talkative, impatient, having low self-esteem, not having great a working memory, making impulsive decisions, and feeling restless.

Roggli said understanding the impact of hormones on women with ADHD is essential. The brain works better with more estrogen. Estrogen affects dopamine. The ADHD brain lacks dopamine. Menopause decreases estrogen by 50% and keeps getting lower.

Most women with ADHD have comorbid conditions or “sidecars.” They include:

• 30-40% - 1 Depressive episode

• 50% - Learning differences

• 10-20% Bipolar

• 30% OCD

• Up to 50% - Addictions

5. ANXIETY | “The more you care, the more you worry. Anxiety means I care. You can’t teach people not to care. You can only teach how to manage anxiety.”

Dr. Alicia Clark, a psychologist and author of Hack Your Anxiety, said 40% of people experience persistent stress, and only 36% get help. She also said:

• Women suffer from anxiety 1.6 times more than men.

• Post-pandemic, anxiety and depression increased by three times.

• The visual distraction of clutter increases cognitive overload and decreases working memory.

Anxiety shows up in the “emotional landscape” of the organizing work we do with our clients. These can appear as fear of change, failure, facing emotional memory of things, letting go, and making mistakes.

Dr. Clark described four forms of anxiety – Whisper, Chatter, Nagging, and Yelling. She explained they are not all bad. Chatter anxiety is referred to as “good stress.” You can reframe anxiety and recognize that it drives motivation. She suggests using “anxiety to change what is in your control,” focusing on progress, reframing setbacks as part of the growth process, and getting adequate sleep.

Possibilities open up when we understand more about our psychological, emotional, and biological states. I was deeply moved by the presenters, the stories and insights they shared, and how they connected to many of my clients. It is a privilege to be part of their journey. I have the utmost respect and admiration for my clients’ determination and how they face their challenges.

What possibilities appeared for you? Did you discover any surprises? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.