Is the desire to be and feel successful in our work, life, and relationships a universal pursuit? It's certainly something we often talk about and strive for. Our personal definition of success varies for each person and situation. During a conversation with my Mom, I was reminded about one of my favorite "success" stories about my Dad.

Like many others of his generation, my Dad worked for the same company for 25 years. He could have easily become a lifer. Due to several reasons, at age 50, he made a bold move. He gave up the familiar along with the security of income and benefits to start his own company. With two kids in college and one about to start (me), he took a big financial and personal risk.

The story goes that on his first day of being his own boss, he went to his newly rented office and worked. Opposite of his normal work habits, halfway into the workday, he left to see a movie. He’d never done that before. Later that night, when he got home, he told my Mom about his movie adventure. When she asked him why he went, he said, "I wanted to see what would happen."

“Refine what you’re doing, try something new, and pave the way for your success.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

That singular event, set the stage for the next 25 plus years as he tested the “let’s see what will happen” theory. He became highly successful in his computer graphics consultancy business as he traveled the world saying, “yes” to opportunities and trying things he’d never done before.

While the lessons I learned from him are many, here are a few of the success rules my Dad modeled for me:

9 Success Rules

1. Try something new.

2. Question the familiar.

3. Fear will be there, but forge ahead anyway.

4. Just because you never have, doesn't mean you can't.

5. Connect people.

6. Say, “yes” to opportunities.

7. The glass is half full.

8. Humor is a good thing.

9. Enjoy the journey.

It’s a new season. It’s a chance to reset your goals, refine what you’re doing, try something new, and pave the way for your success. What does success look and feel like? What are your success rules? I’d love to hear from you. Come join the conversation.

From the perspective of being a professional organizer for more than twenty years, I consider my field to be one of the helping professions.  There are many ways I assist my clients, which involve helping them with their “stuff.” I use that term loosely because it isn’t always the traditional physical things of life that are part of the work. The “stuff” extends to emotions, time, transitions, and more. While the list is extensive and ever changing, I’d like to share a recent sampling of how I’ve helped.

While my clients have a wide range of needs, I specialize in working with individuals who struggle with chronic disorganization. I have extensive training and certification in chronic disorganization through the Institute for Challenging Disorganization (ICD).

What are some of the ways organizers help their clients? Depending upon your perspective, as you read ahead, you might identify ways that you might benefit from hiring an organizer. Or perhaps, you’ll discover new options to provide organizing help to others. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

10 Ways Organizers Help Clients With “Stuff”

1. Assessment Stuff - Organizing involves doing and thinking. Assessing is done at various stages of the organizing process. It’s always done before work begins, so we can understand the organizational areas that need attention. Assessments don’t end there. They continue once the work begins. Each organizing visit includes an assessment before, during, and at the end to help clients stay focused, adjust the scope as needed, and acknowledge their progress.

2. Physical Stuff - No matter how much the digital era has infiltrated our lives, we still have an abundance of physical things to manage, maintain, evaluate, and organize. From papers to clothing, toys, and gadgets, helping to organize the physical possessions of life and the space we live and work in is a major part of the work I do.

3. System Stuff - With all of this stuff, we need systems to manage everything from paper flow to recycling, donation, or return centers. Those are some of the ways I help my clients organize.

4. Emotional Stuff - There are distinct boundaries between organizers, coaches, and therapists. You might more readily equate “emotional stuff” with a therapist’s work than you would with an organizer’s. I’m not a therapist, and I respect the professional boundaries. However, organizing and going through “our stuff” can evoke a range of emotions. While I don’t counsel, I am there to support my clients during the organizing and letting-go process, which can be an emotionally charged experience.

“Organizing involves doing but also thinking.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

5. Maintenance Stuff - Even after all “things” are organized and in place, there is often a need for periodic maintenance, especially with the chronically disorganized population. This can involve clearing spaces, closets, or surfaces that were previously organized. It can include processing and filing papers, updating financial records, or switching seasonal clothing. Scheduling maintenance builds in time to reroute and restore things to their designated homes and evaluate changes that might be beneficial.

6. Project Stuff - Instead of ongoing, overall organizing help, some clients enlist help for specific projects. This can include everything from organizing a closet to house linens, clothing or gifts to setting up a unique paper management system for college applications, committee work, or writing projects to making lists and packing for a trip. The help needed is often short-term, clearly definable, and has a distinct beginning and end.

7. Routine Stuff -There are times when clients need help with managing routine items like making calls for research, setting up, reviewing, or canceling accounts, scheduling appointments, logging receipts, updating check registers, processing mail, creating lists, or writing correspondence.

8. Resource Stuff - More often than not, I’m asked about specific resources for my clients. Their requests range widely, from help finding the best places to purchase organizing products, sources for donating furniture, companies that remove junk, and therapists who specialize in compulsive buying. I’m constantly collecting new resources, generously shared from other professionals, friends, and family.

9. Time Stuff - Many clients are overwhelmed by their overflowing calendars. Their schedules can feel as cluttered as their spaces. The busyness also affects their thoughts, which can create mind clutter. For many clients, I help them evaluate their time commitments, establish their priorities, work on planning, and design a more comfortable version of the 24 hours they have each day.

10. Transition Stuff - A favorite aspect of my work is the long-term relationships that develop. Especially because of this longevity, I have the privilege of helping clients navigate the organizational aspects that life’s transitions bring, such as marriage, birth, graduation, job changes, children leaving, children returning home, moves, divorce, loss, and death. Transitions are dramatic periods of change. Being able to help clients organize during the tumult gives them some sense of control, normalcy, and comfort. 

I’d love to hear from you. Are you thinking about enlisting help from an organizer? Are you an organizer who helps others? Perhaps you’re in another helping profession. Which ways to get help with “stuff” resonate with you? Introduce yourself and come join the conversation!

Dr. April Lane Benson

The “Ask the Expert” interview series connects you with industry thought leaders. This year we’ve spoken with Leslie Josel about motivation, David Allen about time management, Peter Walsh about clutter, Sheila Delson about letting go, Laura Berman Fortgang about next steps, Judith Kolberg about change, and Sue West about fresh starts. This month I’m thrilled to bring you a dynamo in the field of psychology, Dr. April Lane Benson, to share her insights and experience about enlisting help.

April and I met in 2004 when she spoke about compulsive buying at the National Association of Professional Organizers New York chapter (NAPO-NY) meeting. I became a fan immediately. Since then, I’ve had the pleasure of talking with her and hearing her present many times. She’s straightforward, energetic, compassionate, and the expert on shopping addiction. My deepest thanks go to April for taking the time to join us. Before we begin, here’s more about her.

April Lane Benson, Ph.D., is a nationally recognized psychologist who specializes in studying and treating compulsive buying disorder. She edited I Shop, Therefore I Am: Compulsive Buying and the Search for Self  (2000) and authored To Buy or Not to Buy: Why We Overshop and How to Stop (2008). April recently conducted empirical research on the efficacy of the Stopping Overshopping treatment model; results will be published in early 2014 in the Journal of Groups in Addiction and Recovery.

Linda Samuels: You are a nationally known psychologist who specializes in treating compulsive buying disorder. What is the tipping point that motivates people to reach out for help?

April Lane Benson:  People reach out for help when their behavior has either become unmanageable to themselves, or poses such a big issue for someone else that the other person insists on it. Overwhelming debt is a big motivator for many; feeling enormously burdened by the lying and secrecy that are often part and parcel of this problem is another trigger. As far as other people’s reactions being the catalyst for the compulsive buyer to get help, these are common scenarios. A couple is trying to get a mortgage and in that process, the debt of one member of the couple is revealed. Family members may find a compulsive buyer’s secret stashes or find a credit card or money has been stolen. There may no longer be any room to navigate at home because of such an overabundance of stuff.

Linda:  What conditions make self-help a viable option?

April: If someone has a history of having been able to utilize self-help resources productively for another behavior or is doing so currently, he or she is a good candidate for self-help. Someone who has one or two individuals who are willing to be very involved in a nuts and bolts way with the compulsive buyer and function as shopping support buddies is another good candidate. Knowing about the availability of self-help resources, books, audiotapes, online support groups, and in-person support groups is also key to making it a viable option.

Linda:  When seeking professional help is the appropriate option, what are some useful questions to find the right fit?

April:

• Has the provider worked with compulsive buyers before? Approximately how many?

• What does the treatment consist of?

• What kind of success rate does the potential provider have?

• What method or school of thought does the potential provider utilize?

• How long is the treatment?

• How much will it cost?

• Will any other family members be involved?

• Will the provider collaborate with a professional organizer if the client wishes?

Linda:  As professional organizers, we often encounter clients with shopping addictions. What do we need to understand to best help our clients?

April:  It’s important for organizers to understand that there are sometimes deep psychological issues that are maintaining the compulsive buying behavior and that the emotional underpinnings of the problem need to be understood and worked with alongside the behavioral interventions.  Organizers need to be very clear about their own boundaries and be aware of the differences between organizing, coaching and psychotherapy.

Linda:  What has been your biggest personal challenge around enlisting help?

April:  For many years, I engaged in a self-defeating habit that no one in my life saw as a significant issue. In part because of that feedback and also because of my own ambivalence about change, it took a long time for me to seek professional help.  By the time I did, I was so clear about wanting to change and ready to change that it no longer mattered what anyone else thought.  What a great decision!

Linda:  Is there anything else you’d like to share about seeking help that I haven’t asked?

April:  It’s important that professional organizers know that there’s no shame, and more likely wisdom, in telling the client that some of what he/she needs goes beyond your area of expertise and that you’ll assist him/her in getting help. This is great modeling for the client who needs to know that effective help is available and that it’s a strength, rather than a weakness, to ask for it.

Thank you, April for sharing your ideas about enlisting help. You’ve provided many ways to think about getting the type of support that’s needed. I love your list of questions for finding the right type of professional help. Perhaps what I found most encouraging was your perspective that asking for help is a “strength rather than a weakness.” What a great thought to end with.

I invite you to join April and me as we continue the conversation. We’d love to hear your thoughts about enlisting help. What resonates with you?

As an update to this interview, I am devastated to share that April died on March 29, 2021. She was a tremendous and positive force in this world. I will miss our conversations, touchpoints, her warmth, and energy. Her presence will be sorely missed. While April is gone, her legacy lives on. In 2019, April sold her business to her friend and colleague, Carrie Rattle. She was trained by April and has taken on the important work of helping those struggling with shopping addiction. If you need help, or know someone who does, please reach out to Carrie.

We all have dreams, don’t we? One of mine, which has taken almost a decade to come to fruition, has recently been realized. My office area was transformed from a crazy hodgepodge of furniture into a beautifully designed office space created and organized just for me.

Guess what? It didn’t happen quickly or on its own. I needed lots of help along the way. It was a learning process that required patience, persistence, creativity, and collaboration with others. To all the fellow goal chasers and dream seekers, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Which “help” tips resonate with you? Who and what has helped you in the pursuit of your dreams? Some things helped me. Read on and then join our conversation.

Dreams Need Help – 8 Tips

1. Dream Help

Having someone to support, expand, mull over, and tweak your dream is essential. We all need at least one dream buddy to share our journey with. My dreaming partner was my wonderful husband, Steve. He encouraged me to own the dream and not limit my thinking.

2. Letting Go Help

In preparation for my new space, I needed to review and edit my office contents. Letting go of some physical items was part of this process. As a professional organizer, I’m good at asking others those classic letting go questions like, “Do you want it?” or “When was the last time you used it?” or “Is it worth the real estate, energy, and maintenance?” However, I found it helpful when someone else (such as my husband or daughter) posed the questions to me. Hearing the questions out loud from an objective person helped me become more decisive and enabled me to let go of the unessential.

3. Design Help

Putting specifics to my dream meant I first needed to understand how I wanted my office space to look and feel. Words at the top of the list included purple, sparkly, organized, happy, fun, spacious, and calm.

For visual inspiration, I perused my Pinterest boards (mainly Oh, So Luscious Color!, Oh, So Colorful Spaces!, and Oh, So Organized Office!). My husband listened to my ideas, incorporated them into the design, made the best use of the space, created lovely three-dimensional drawings, and helped me select materials and colors.

When everything was installed, the family agreed it was truly a “Linda space.”

4. Heavy Lifting Help

Some dreams require brawn. Mine sure did. I needed physical help with manufacturing, disassembling my office, moving furniture, and installing the new cabinets and countertop. I could not have done this without the muscle team, who included Steve, Nick, Allison, and some talented vendors. Thank you.

5. Patience Help

Patience was mostly an inside job. I had to remind myself that all things worth doing take time. They will and can get done, but adjustments for when they happen will be necessary. It’s the when that can be most trying when pursuing a dream.

6. Discomfort Help

I’m not proud to admit this, but I was extremely out of sorts during the twelve days we had to disassemble my office and temporarily relocate it to the living room. This gave me an entirely new appreciation for what my clients experience regularly. It feels terrible when our environment doesn’t support us.

My living and working areas were in disarray, which made it extremely challenging to function and focus. Fortunately, my family was there to help me navigate being uncomfortable by encouraging a positive perspective and keeping me focused on the goal. My husband gently reminded me, “The chaos will only last a short while.” My daughter, Allison, used a different yet equally effective approach. She said, “Mom, change and chaos are good for you.”

7. Organizing Help

It was joyful being my own client and organizing my new space. Before organizing “stuff” back into the office, I appreciated the emptiness of the space. I felt calm seeing the uncluttered surfaces that had almost no visual noise. As I put things away, I was selective about what deserved a “home.”

Only what I loved and used most returned. I’m still deciding the fate of the many small toys (imagine a miniature Mr. Potato Head or glitter-covered Eiffel Tower) that have always been part of my office decor. A few toys have returned. Before more come back, I’m waiting to see how the space feels with less.

8. Cheerleading Help

Family and friends provided a great deal of encouragement along the way. The high fives, ooohs, ahhs, and “It’s going to be great!” helped me to stay vision-focused and excited. When it was time to select cabinet knobs, I created a quick survey on Facebook. People weighed in on their favorite knob option. The feedback was wonderful. I am grateful for the many cheerleaders who have supported me along the way. Special heartfelt thanks to Steve, Allison, Cassie, Mom, Yota, Peggy, and Elisa for their extra enthusiasm and support.

My space is no longer just an office. It’s now a well-designed space for possibilities, creativity, problem-solving, thinking, planning, writing, teaching, communicating, and being. Thank you to all those who helped nurture and encourage my dream.

What has your experience been when pursuing a dream? Did you go it alone? Did you enlist help from others? I look forward to hearing your thoughts.