Difficulty letting go is one of the recurring themes that I frequently encounter in organizing work with clients. In fact, this is often one of the first steps in the organizing process. You can’t organize if you haven’t gone through the editing phase.

Many clients find it extremely challenging to let go of their physical stuff, places, ideas, unhealthy relationships, items from their to-do lists, or unproductive habits. Of course the challenge with letting go isn’t reserved only for clients. I see this also with family, friends, colleagues, and myself.

The tension between holding on and letting go is part of being human.

I find it interesting, too, that even nature is finding it hard to let go this year. Winter just hasn’t seemed ready to transition. Just this week, what should have been a beautiful spring day was anything but that. I was surprised to wake up to plants covered with snow and cool temperatures to match. Spring wants to arrive, but winter isn’t ready to let go and make room for growth.

Isn’t that what our challenge with letting go is all about? We hold on tightly to what we think we might need or want, even if its value or usefulness has long passed. We hold on because it’s familiar or comfortable, and we hold on because we’re fearful of letting go.

So what makes it so hard to let go? For me, it depends on what. I can easily donate clothes I no longer wear or don’t feel good in. However, books that I’ve read and might want to refer to again, I have a much harder time giving away. I keep papers that need to be saved or archived for tax purposes, but junk mail, magazines, or notes that I’ve attended to, I recycle without hesitation.

I suspect that you are much like me. There are things you can easily let go of and others that prove more challenging. I also recognize that sometimes it’s OK to hold on. We might not be ready yet to let go. However, when we are ready to clear those things and thoughts that are holding us back, it is liberating and energizing.

What is hard for you to let go of? What’s easy? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation.

My client gave me permission to share this story. During a recent organizing session we were sorting and editing when she came across one item that she wasn’t sure what to do with. She wanted to keep it, but didn’t have a place or category to pair it with.

To figure out the puzzle, I asked some questions to learn more about the item and it’s significance to her. Within a few minutes she determined that it was something she might bring out for her children to play with (supervision needed) when they had a short time to play. After a few more questions, she decided that containing it in a box with a label and storing it in her closet would work.

Just to recap, we discovered an item without a home, discussed what it was about, and determined the best way and place to store it. Labeling the box was key. What’s in a name? In this case, she came up with a label name that’s one of the best ones I’ve ever typed in the 20+ years I’ve been organizing. It says,

“15 Minutes of Fun!”

I love that. Now I want a box with that name.

What does this have to do with letting go? How often do you feel you need hours or days to have fun, get organized, or ____________  (fill in the blank)? Because you don’t, you postpone fun. You postpone organizing. You postpone moving forward. The reality is that in a short time you can enjoy, do a lot, or even a little. Days are segmented. We feel like we’re supposed to work or play in long time blocks. We don’t often have the luxury of endless, continuous hours.

The next time you’re thinking that you don’t have time to __________, remember the “15 Minutes of Fun” box and see if you can motivate yourself to use the short burst of time that you do have.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. What resonates with you? Come join the conversation.

I just returned from the NAPO conference in Los Angeles. Almost 700 professional organizers convened from around the world to attend sessions about building organizing businesses, discovering relevant products and services, and learning new skills or concepts to help our clients. We took copious notes, conversed, laughed, saw old friends, and made new ones.

Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus, better known as The Minimalists gave the opening keynote session, “The Art of Letting Go.” Their following is far from minimal with over four million readers. Their story is inspiring.

Without going into great detail, because you can read all about them and their journey on their website, I will share my big takeaway. Their story reinforced what I’ve observed for 20+ years working with my organizing clients. While we might want to let go, reduce clutter, and change our lives, until we’re ready to do that, letting go is challenging. The desire to let go might exist, but the motivation to do so doesn’t.

Sometimes it takes conditioning, slowly exercising those letting go muscles to move forward. Sometimes it takes a major life change like divorce, death of a loved one, new job or a move to shift into re-evaluating life and energize the letting go process.

When we’re able to let go and keep only what’s meaningful, beautiful and useful, we create physical and emotional space for what’s truly important. Defining “important” is unique to each of us. As Josh was evaluating and letting go, he’d ask, “Does this thing add value to my life?”  Particularly with his sentimental objects, he was able to let go of the majority of them when he realized . . .

“Our memories are not in our things. Our memories are inside us.”

Linda Samuels at NAPO 2015 with Josh Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus

Josh and Ryan’s stories are inspiring because they shared how they shifted from overwhelmed and dissatisfied by their “stuff” to calm, happy, and more fulfilled through the letting go process. They shifted their focus to experiences and relationships instead of things. It was also inspiring how the change in Josh’s attitude and minimalist living style inspired Ryan, his childhood friend, to pursue a similar way of being.

This brings up another interesting point. You never know how many people you’ll inspire in the process of changing and growing.

What have you noticed when someone lets go? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Join the conversation.

Letting go lessons can be found in the most unusual places. This past weekend my husband and I traveled to South Carolina to watch our daughter, Cassie, and her teammates (Go QC Boston!) play in the Quidditch World Cup tournament. There were 80 teams from around the country (and Canada, too) vying for the number one spot. In two days the teams played anywhere from 5 to 10 highly energetic and physically taxing games.

All teams had spent many months preparing, practicing, and participating in other Quidditch tournaments. They arrived at World Cup ready for the ultimate challenge to play the best of the best.

This was the lesson. I don’t know if it was like this for all the teams, but for QCB, it was about letting go of the outcome. They approached each game with the best they had. They enjoyed working as a team, supporting one another, staying focused and in the moment. While they played to win, as each game ended, they let go of the outcome and focused on learning more from their wins or losses. It was quite extraordinary to witness.

How often do we invest so heavily in an outcome that we miss the joy that’s part of the process? Maybe we’re so concerned with the outcome that we prevent ourselves from potential learning and growth.

“How often do we invest so heavily in an outcome that we miss the joy that’s part of the process?”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

I’d love to hear your thoughts. How does letting go of the outcome change your perspective?