Preparation is essential when it comes to letting go. It’s being in a state of readiness. I became acutely aware of the connection between preparation and letting go on my recent trip to San Diego. I was away for almost a week as an attendee and exhibitor at NAPO’s annual conference for professional organizers. I didn’t just walk out the door. I needed to get ready both mentally and physically in order to leave my normal routine and enjoy the adventure ahead.

This idea of preparing to let go resonated with me. Many of us experience challenges in this arena whether we are letting go of places, people or things.

8 Ways to Prepare to Let Go

If you are having difficulty letting go, perhaps some of my thoughts about preparation will help you to move forward.

1. Plan – To leave things behind, it helps to know that they are in good shape. This might involve organizing our papers, arranging our family’s schedules, or finding resources to donate our treasures. Knowing that our affairs are in reasonable order helps prepare us to move ahead.

2. Focus – Be in the moment. It’s so common to dwell on the past or worry about the future. Focusing on where you are enables you to enjoy the present and let go when the time comes.

3. Embrace – While being in the moment is important, preparing emotionally to embrace the joy that will come from change is key. Letting go can be painful, but presents us with wonderful opportunities that we couldn’t have imagined otherwise.

4. Emote – When letting go is involved, our emotions will be too. Expect a range of feelings from distress to elation. These and everything in between are normal. Allowing yourself to feel along the journey is key in letting go and processing your experiences.

5. Dare – Helen Keller said, “Life is a daring adventure or nothing.” Bravery is required to let go of the familiar and forge ahead to the unknown. Take a deep breath and tap into your brave side.

6. Control – The opposite of letting go is control. For many of us, the unwillingness to relinquish control prevents us from moving forward. Interestingly though, by giving up some control, we allow ourselves and those near us to flourish.

7. Rejuvenate– Leaving behind our schedules, lives or clutter can renew our energy, increase our focus and move us in new directions. Letting go rejuvenates our spirit and gives us a chance to look at things from a refreshed perspective.

8. Dream – Imagine the positive for what our lives, spaces and relationships will be like when we allow ourselves to let go of the things that are holding us back. While none of us can predict the future, filling our thoughts with positive expectations can motivate us to let go.

Let’s return for a moment to my San Diego trip. Before I left there were many things I had to let go of.  I focused on the word “reasonable,” while I negotiated between the fantasy and reality of what I wanted to accomplish before leaving. This blog post was one of those items. I ran out of both time and energy to write it before leaving. Instead, I renegotiated with myself about what was possible. This allowed me to let go of the “shoulds,” find satisfaction in the “dids,” and enjoy the “what ifs.”

I’d love to hear from you. What helps shift you into a state of readiness?

I like many things. One of them is Yogi Tea. While the tea is delicious, what I like most are the sayings they put on every tea bag hangtag. Each time I make a cup of tea, it’s like opening a fortune cookie, which I also love. There is a moment of anticipation as I grab my glasses to read the Yogi Tea wisdom. I pause to reflect about the idea.

At a recent teatime, the hangtag said, “True wealth is the ability to let go of your possessions.”  Since we’ve just begun our first full month of spring and my blog will be focusing this month about letting go, it seemed like the ideal time to share the Yogi Tea bag story.

It’s an interesting quote because in our society, the message emphasized is often about collecting, gathering and acquiring bigger and better. Marketers encourage us to accumulate more money and stuff.

In contrast, as a professional organizer for almost 20 years, I’ve been helping people manage, organize and de-acquire their things. The amount of papers, toys, clothing, collections and supplies have become overwhelming for many.  People crave simplicity and calm both internally and externally. The acquisition and management of those possessions is often at the root of much of their daily stress and anxiety.

The Yogi quote also made me think about who we are in relation to our things. Do our possessions define who we are? Or, is our true self worth deep within, having nothing to do with what we own, how we dress, or the things that surround us?

Lastly, I wonder if our things have taken over our lives to the degree that they are preventing us from moving ahead. What about the idea of letting go in order to be able to go forward? Are your things preventing growth? Are they taking up too much mental energy, time and space? Are they taking you away from what is most important to you?

All I wanted was a cup of tea. I got so much more.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on letting go, the tea quote or anything else you’d like to share. What are you thinking?

I’d love to share a good story with you about the challenges of letting go of the familiar. I’ve wanted do some interior painting for let’s just say, “quite a while.” I’m not ready to give divulge exactly what “quite a while” means, but please just use your imagination. We got some estimates, selected the painter and made the plan. People do work in their homes all the time. There is nothing unique about what we’re doing. But even so, I’m finding this experience quite interesting.

What started out as “just a paint job,” has quickly turned into dozens of decisions and other side projects. I’m guessing that you know what I mean. For example, if you’re repainting then what about replacing the blinds and the towel bars and the closet interiors? Each new project requires research and choices. This is not necessarily a bad thing; instead, it transforms what was going to be something simple and expands the scope. Please understand that I’m completely aware that this is all my doing. I made the choice to do this work and have added extras during the process.

The paint colors were selected and the other decisions were made. Then came the “getting prepared” part. That involved completely emptying our bedroom and bathroom. Over the years, I’ve spent a good amount of time organizing those spaces so that I don’t have to think very hard about finding my clothes or accessories. They are placed where I need them and it makes the basics of daily living less stressful. Now imagine a situation almost like “52 Pick-Up.” With the things temporarily moved to various locations throughout our home, the order has been seriously altered. It’s almost like being a guest in your own home. You’ve got your stuff with you, but it’s not organized the way you’re accustomed to. It’s a strange feeling to say the least.

As we were emptying the closets and taking all the paintings off the walls, I felt a bit melancholy. It seemed like we were moving, even though we weren’t. It was also sad to be changing something that was so familiar and comfortable. But the funny part was that we weren’t moving. We were in fact improving our environment. Even so, there was an odd sense of loss. What was that about? In order to make this change, we had to be willing to let go of the familiar. We had to be willing to be uncomfortable and out of sorts temporarily, to make things better.

I so much appreciated a phone call from my husband today. He reminded me that even though he knows how difficult the disarray is for me, he also knows that the result will be well worth the inconvenience. He reminded me to keep focused on what it would feel like once it was done.

This experience parallels many of the things my clients experience around getting organized. They desire to do something different, to have less stress and to make their environments support rather than hinder their daily living. At the same time, anxiety and loss often accompany the process of moving to this desired place. I too am experiencing something similar. I appreciate how hard it is to make changes, even when they are for the better. It requires effort and inconvenience and of course, letting go. But I’m guessing that in a few days from now, when the pictures are back on the freshly painted walls, the clothes are hung in the newly installed closet and our bed is back in the bedroom, I will quickly forget about the discomfort I felt and instead completely enjoy the renewed space and sense of calm.

What is so important about letting go? Why have I devoted chapter four of my book, The Other Side of Organized, to this specific topic? On a daily basis, the work I do with my clients revolves around letting go. Many days are spent editing and releasing papers, clothing, dishes, memorabilia, expired groceries, books, jewelry, toys, gifts, bags and many other items.

Letting go of these physical belongings, especially when they consume space and no longer provide value, transforms the attitude of the person releasing them. While they have had challenges in the past with letting go, when they finally fill bags of items to donate, recycle or discard, they become almost giddy. Their spaces, which felt overwhelming and cluttered, become places that feel good to live in. I feel fortunate that my clients allow me to be part of this transformative process.

What happens when you know it’s time to let go but you aren’t quite ready? The truth is that I’m thinking about a different type of letting go- not things, but children. Our youngest daughter is about to graduate high school. While it’s not time yet, she will be leaving for college in a few short months. After having kids, friends and activities grace our home for 20 plus years, our lives are about to dramatically change. Cassie is excited to be going to college. She’s ready. Intellectually, I know this is a good thing.

While I’ve thought about this time, prepared the best I could, encouraged more independence and pulled back a bit, there is still a pang in my heart because I understand that this beautiful segment of our lives is coming to a close. Sure, we’ll always be parents. Sure, we’ll always be here if our daughters need us. But the way we live day to day will cease to exist as we know it. This is the natural progression of raising kids. You nurture, love and encourage them. Then they go off and make their way in the world. It’s what you raise them to do.

I know a few things about letting go. It’s a necessity. It isn’t easy. But when you are willing to let go of what needs to be released, wonderful things do happen. I know Cassie will spread her wings and perhaps her parents will, too.