Clutter comes in many forms. Often we see a physical display with our paper piles, overflowing closets, or garages too full for the car. But there is also mental clutter where our thoughts take over in unproductive ways. Mind clutter causes undue anxiety and stress. Have you experienced mind clutter? If so, you’re not alone. One of my friends recently said to me that, especially now during the COVID-19 pandemic, it’s useful to let go of “If only…” from your vocabulary.

What valuable wisdom! Those “if only” phrases can breed regret and anxiety. They aren’t beneficial for your wellbeing or peace of mind. I noticed how often I was going down the “if only” road. I also realized how that type of thinking cluttered my mind and made me feel helpless. Have you walked down this path before?

Some of my mind cluttering thoughts focused on my mom. She has dementia and lives in a memory care facility. They have been on lockdown for almost two months, and I haven’t been able to visit her. Many residents there have died from COVID-19, and my mom tested asymptomatic positive a few weeks ago. I kept thinking, “If only I could see her.”  I worried about her wellbeing, whether she’d survive the virus, and whether I’d ever see her again. I know that many people are experiencing similar situations with their loved ones. It’s heartbreaking.

My mind was also cluttered with worry over our older daughter’s safety. She lives, works, and volunteers in Brooklyn, which is one of the hotbeds of the COVID-19 outbreak. I kept thinking, “If only I could bring her home or wrap her in a protective bubble.” I know. These thoughts were not realistic. She’s an adult and very much in charge of her own life. However, as her mom, my instinct to protect her flooded my thoughts.

“Those ‘if only’ phrases can breed regret and anxiety.”

— Linda Samuels

These are just a few examples of my internal “if only” conversations. I’m guessing you see how unproductive these thoughts were. I had no control over these situations. Little by little, I stopped using this phrase. Instead, I have been harnessing all the mindfulness resources I have available, like meditation, yoga, and nature. They help me focus on the present and relinquish control about uncertainties. I continually work at this. On the good days, I’m more agile and able to lean into what arises, be present with now, and stay in the moment. I let go of “if only.”

I’ve read that 85-90% of the things we worry about never happen. Mind clutter worry is unproductive. And as it turns out, it’s a good teacher too. There was a beautiful twist (and lesson) in my “if only” exploration. 

“Mind clutter worry is unproductive. And as it turns out, it’s a good teacher too.”

— Linda Samuels

Mom waving hello

Last week, I had in-person visit (masked and at a physical distance,) one with my mom and another with our daughter. I cannot begin to express how much good it did my heart and mind to be in their presence. What a joy being with them. Even though I received photos and regular updates about my mom, seeing her walk, sing, smile, and wave lifted my heart and spirits.

Our daughter, Allison, turned 30 this week. My husband and I drove to Brooklyn to bring her some birthday goodies and hang out for a quick visit. During the pandemic, we’ve talked and Zoomed, but being in her physical presence was such a gift. I felt settled, seeing that she was doing just fine.

Allison in Brooklyn - Two Tree Studios

In challenging times there is learning. And this time is a great teacher. I learned to let go of unproductive mind clutter, to release control over the uncontrollable, to trust the strength of others, and to soak in the beautiful moments of connection and calm. 

Have you experienced mind clutter recently? What helps you navigate the chatter? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation. 

The newest installment (v23) of the “What’s Interesting?” feature is here with my recent discoveries that inform, educate, and relate to organizing and life balance. I’ve included unique and inspiring clutter-related finds, which reflect this month’s blog theme. You are such a wonderfully, engaged group. I am grateful for your presence and wisdom.

I look forward to your participation and additions to the collection I’ve sourced. What do you find interesting?

What’s Interesting? . . .

1. Interesting Read – Clutter Release

If your home is overrun with stuff and you’re ready to declutter and simplify, Who Am I Now? – Realign Your Home and Life, by author, professional organizer, and coach, Kate Varness, CPO-CD®, COC®, MA is an excellent guidebook for you. Kate says, “Your life is a hero’s journey…It will require you to wake up and step bravely into the unknown.”  Her book comes with a free downloadable, printable companion workbook to use with it. This book is especially helpful for people experiencing a life transition, feeling overwhelmed, are unsure of how to start, or what to let go. Kate uses stories and a step-by-step process to help you realign your home to match your current needs. Encouraging you at every turn, she says, “Step bravely away from the clutter and the pain of what’s not working into new possibilities.”

2. Interesting Perspective – Clutter Tolerance

While many believe that there is a “right” way or “one” way to be organized, it just isn’t so. We are different with diverse needs and preferences. For organizing strategies to be effective, they have to reflect your uniqueness. So while I might prefer to have my clothes hanging in my closet, facing the same direction on matching hangers, by clothing type and in color order, you might prefer piling your clothes on the floor. For me, that would feel like too much clutter, but for you, it might not. If “floordrobe” works for you, go for it! Being organized and clutter tolerance looks and feels different for each of us. Do you consider yourself clutter sensitive or clutter blind?

3. Interesting Article  – Clutter Overload

In the Intellectual Takeout article by Daniel Lattier, 15 Stats That Show Americans Are Drowning in ‘Stuff,’ he writes about how much time we spend accumulating and organizing our belongings. Lattier’s insight, which is confirmed by interesting stats collected by minimalist and author, Joshua Becker, says, “Americans simply own too much stuff.” If you want less clutter, own fewer things. Below are several of the stats:

• “There are 300,000 items in the average American home.” – LA Times

• “British research found that the average 10-year old owns 238 toys, but plays with just 12 daily.” – The Telegraph

• “Some reports indicate we consume twice as many material goods today as we did 50 years ago.” – The Story of Stuff

• “Americans spend $1.2 trillion annually on nonessential goods – in other words, items they do not need.” – The Wall Street Journal

4. Interesting Trend – Clutter Transaction

One way to reduce clutter is to stop purchasing things. Several years ago, two friends from Washington, Rebecca Rockefeller and Liesl Clark decided to do just that. They began The Buy Nothing Project, which has become a worldwide social movement. Their concept was to create an “experimental hyper-local gift economy.” People join to reduce clutter or to save money by getting things for free. They use Facebook groups as their communication platform. These are their rules: “Post anything you’d like to give away, lend, or share amongst neighbors. Ask for anything you’d like to receive for free or borrow. Keep it legal. Keep it civil. No buying or selling, no trades or bartering, we’re strictly a gift economy.” 

5. Interesting Thought – Clutter Call

This reminds me of The Beatles song, All You Need Is Love. Substitute the four-letter L-word, “love” for “less.” If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the clutter in your life, this may be the inspiration (and song) that you need to let go and experience how it feels to live with less. Sing along with The Beatles and me, “All you need is less, daah-dah daah-dah dah . . .”

What are your exciting finds? Which of these resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Join the conversation!

The thing about clutter is that too much of it can overwhelm your space, time, and mind.

To keep things super simple this week and not add to your clutter, I’m offering up an easy to digest infographic created by SouthShore Fine Linens. It features advice from nine experts (including me, Linda Samuels) to help you declutter and organize your home.

The first tip will help your declutter your bathroom reading material. To learn more about that and all of the 9 Home Hacks From the Experts, click on this link.

Which hack resonates most with you? Do you have another favorite home decluttering tip to share? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Join the conversation!

Dynamic thought leaders are featured for the “Ask the Expert” interview series. In the past, we’ve spoken with experts including Todd Henry about next steps, Joshua Becker about fresh starts, David Allen about time management, and Gretchen Rubin about life balance. For May, I’m excited to have with us author, professional organizer, speaker, and Holocaust educator, Felice Cohen to share her insights about clutter.

Several months ago, I had the pleasure of meeting Felice when we taped an organizing segment for the “Let’s Talk With Jodi!” show, airing this June.  Aside from being fascinated by Felice’s tiny apartment living experience, I enjoyed her wonderful sense of humor and practical ideas about organizing. Before we begin the interview, here is more about her.

Felice Cohenis an author of five books, a professional organizer, motivational speaker,  and Holocaust educator. You might have seen Felice in the YouTube video of her 90-square foot Manhattan studio. She moved into that small space for one reason: the low rent allowed her to quit her full-time job and finish writing her first book. She planned to stay only one year, but something happened during that time. Her life improved. 

When the YouTube video went viral, people asked for her advice on organizing and decluttering, and praised her philosophy about “living large” in a small space. That was the motivation for her second book, 90 Lessons for Living Large in 90 Square Feet (…or more), which tells how living tiny made her life larger, but it also offers lessons on how to live the life you want in any size space.

You can connect with Felice on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Pinterest, blog, or website.

Linda Samuels: You pursued your dream of moving to Manhattan and becoming a writer. To afford that life, you chose to live in a tiny space with a minimal amount of stuff. What is one of the lessons you learned about living clutter free?

Felice Cohen:In truth, I planned only to stay one year in that tiny space, but at the end of that first year, I discovered that living tiny and living with less gave me more. More time to do what I loved like writing, cycling, going to the theater, traveling. Plus, my stress went down. I no longer had to work long hours at a job I didn’t love to pay for extra space I didn’t need. As a result, my happiness went up, and I wound up staying 5 years.

Linda: In your book, 90 Lessons for Living Large in 90 Square Feet (…or more), you talk about the “Buh bye” concept, which you found helpful when you worked with organizing clients. Can you describe what it is and what made it useful?

Felice:Getting rid of stuff can be hard. We are attached to things for many reasons, some because they’re sentimental or because we think we might need them. The “buh bye” concept adds humor to what can be a tough activity. When my clients say, “buh bye” out loud as they put something into the giveaway pile or in the trash, it not only lightens the mood, but it empowers them as though they’re saying, “I don’t need you. Buh bye!”

Linda: Some of us tend to accumulate more than we release, which can result in clutter. Can you share some advice to encourage us to let go?

Felice:Start by asking yourself: “What do I want my home to look like?” Everything in its place? No piles on the counters? Closets you can open without the fear of something falling on your head? Keep that image in mind as you work. Remind yourself this is your home, you should be happy there. It’s not easy to get out from under clutter, but it’s doable. Take baby steps. Also, as we grow up and get older, our lives change, and so do our tastes and passions and goals. You might be holding onto things from a previous chapter in your life. By letting them go, you’re making room for new chapters.

Linda: What is your most surprising discovery about clutter?

Felice:About how clutter has a huge effect on people, both mentally and emotionally. Clutter can cause depression and stress. It can also keep you from being productive and happy. Many people want to get rid of the clutter, but it can be overwhelming when you don’t know where to begin. Seeing clutter also tells your brain “you should clean this up” and makes you feel bad for not doing it. The trick is not to beat yourself up.

Linda: What has been your biggest personal challenge around clutter?

Felice: I’m a very sentimental person so holding onto things from my past is my Achilles heel. Things like letters from friends and my varsity high school jacket. This stuff is still in my childhood bedroom on Cape Cod where I now spend my summers. At the beginning of every summer, when I get to my parents’ house, I spend a few hours the first weekend going through all of it. And every summer I get rid of a lot. I’m down to 2 totes from 10. Sometimes it takes us a while to get rid of stuff. Every year I get further and further from that time in my life, and it gets easier to let it go. 

Linda: Is there anything you’d like to share about clutter that I haven’t asked?

Felice:  At the end of the day it’s not about the clutter, but about you. If you’re okay with the piles and the disorganization, fine. But if you’re not, do something about it. It’s not easy, but it’s not rocket science. Put on music that gets you moving and try to get rid of 5 things a day, whether for trash or donation. After a week that’s 35 things. That’s a lot.

Thank you, Felice, for joining us. You shared so many inspiring ideas and showed us that for you having less clutter and space equated to lower stress, more happiness, and time to pursue what you loved doing. It’s clear that you understand how letting go of things can be challenging. I love your suggestion to release five items a day and notice how quickly that yields significant results. As you said, “By letting them go, you’re making room for new chapters.”

Join Felice and me as we continue the conversation. What resonates with you?