I just returned from the NAPO conference in Los Angeles. Almost 700 professional organizers convened from around the world to attend sessions about building organizing businesses, discovering relevant products and services, and learning new skills or concepts to help our clients. We took copious notes, conversed, laughed, saw old friends, and made new ones.

Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus, better known as The Minimalists gave the opening keynote session, “The Art of Letting Go.” Their following is far from minimal with over four million readers. Their story is inspiring.

Without going into great detail, because you can read all about them and their journey on their website, I will share my big takeaway. Their story reinforced what I’ve observed for 20+ years working with my organizing clients. While we might want to let go, reduce clutter, and change our lives, until we’re ready to do that, letting go is challenging. The desire to let go might exist, but the motivation to do so doesn’t.

Sometimes it takes conditioning, slowly exercising those letting go muscles to move forward. Sometimes it takes a major life change like divorce, death of a loved one, new job or a move to shift into re-evaluating life and energize the letting go process.

When we’re able to let go and keep only what’s meaningful, beautiful and useful, we create physical and emotional space for what’s truly important. Defining “important” is unique to each of us. As Josh was evaluating and letting go, he’d ask, “Does this thing add value to my life?”  Particularly with his sentimental objects, he was able to let go of the majority of them when he realized . . .

“Our memories are not in our things. Our memories are inside us.”

Linda Samuels at NAPO 2015 with Josh Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus

Josh and Ryan’s stories are inspiring because they shared how they shifted from overwhelmed and dissatisfied by their “stuff” to calm, happy, and more fulfilled through the letting go process. They shifted their focus to experiences and relationships instead of things. It was also inspiring how the change in Josh’s attitude and minimalist living style inspired Ryan, his childhood friend, to pursue a similar way of being.

This brings up another interesting point. You never know how many people you’ll inspire in the process of changing and growing.

What have you noticed when someone lets go? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Join the conversation.

Letting go lessons can be found in the most unusual places. This past weekend my husband and I traveled to South Carolina to watch our daughter, Cassie, and her teammates (Go QC Boston!) play in the Quidditch World Cup tournament. There were 80 teams from around the country (and Canada, too) vying for the number one spot. In two days the teams played anywhere from 5 to 10 highly energetic and physically taxing games.

All teams had spent many months preparing, practicing, and participating in other Quidditch tournaments. They arrived at World Cup ready for the ultimate challenge to play the best of the best.

This was the lesson. I don’t know if it was like this for all the teams, but for QCB, it was about letting go of the outcome. They approached each game with the best they had. They enjoyed working as a team, supporting one another, staying focused and in the moment. While they played to win, as each game ended, they let go of the outcome and focused on learning more from their wins or losses. It was quite extraordinary to witness.

How often do we invest so heavily in an outcome that we miss the joy that’s part of the process? Maybe we’re so concerned with the outcome that we prevent ourselves from potential learning and growth.

“How often do we invest so heavily in an outcome that we miss the joy that’s part of the process?”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

I’d love to hear your thoughts. How does letting go of the outcome change your perspective?

Life includes both holding on and letting go.

Loss is often associated with letting go. In these past weeks, my heart has ached for my friends, family, and colleagues that have lost their loved ones. I’m thinking of Judy, Steve, Laurene, Karen, Gail, Kathleen, Stacey and Deb who have laid to rest their father, mother, aunt, brother, son, and friends. As they’ve been covered in a blanket of sadness they’ve also found comfort and strength in sharing treasured stories with their community of friends and family.

Losing our loved ones is the most direct, visceral type of letting go. It is painful. Yet even when someone’s physical being is no longer with us, we’re able to remember and feel joy through the memories we have.

We live. We acquire. We release. There are many patterns in life, and this is one of them. Is this familiar to you?

We live.

What does it mean to live? At the most basic level, it’s about being alive, breathing, existing. Yet for most of us, that’s not enough. We want our lives to have meaning. We want to give, to love, to connect with others. We want to explore, to create, to taste, to feel, to see, to touch all that we can. We want to do and just be. Do we spend our time with what matters most to us? Or do we spend our time stuck, feeling anxious, overwhelmed by our things, wishing that life were different, or that we were different? We live. But how do we live?

We acquire.

The “stuff” of life comes to us. We either intentionally acquire it or receive it from others. The sources can be physical, digital, or emotional. We range in our acquiring patterns from overconsumption to more minimalist approaches. As professional organizers, part of the work we do is about helping our clients manage their acquisitions. We teach them to edit, organize, and let go of the “stuff” that no longer serves a purpose for them. The acquiring is easy. However, once something belongs to us, it gives that “thing” more importance than it had before it entered our lives. When our emotional attachment takes hold, it can make letting go more challenging. What is enough? Knowing that there will be a time to let go, how will that influence our acquiring behaviors? How much time do we want to spend managing our “stuff?”

We release.

The ultimate letting go is with our last breath. Before that happens, there are many other types of letting go along the way. All of the things that we’ve collected and edited and organized and struggled with eventually move on. Either we take personal responsibility for our possessions and make arrangements for their release, or we don’t. If we don’t, it becomes someone else’s responsibility. This someone might be a loved one or a stranger. Working with both elders and their adult children, this struggle around keeping or letting go is an integral part of my work. It’s also part of my personal experience as a parent and daughter. If our “stuff” is a burden on us, what does it become for those it’s left to?

We live. We acquire. We release. We know the pattern. What resonates with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Are you having challenges or successes in any of these areas? Please add to the conversation.