When we let go, what happens? We remove resistance. We free ourselves from angst and stress. We allow our minds and days to flow more smoothly. We give ourselves a break from holding on so tightly. We exhale.

I don’t know about you, but lately for me, I’ve had a multitude of opportunities to practice my letting go skills, or as I like to say, “letting go muscles.”

My letting go practice has tested me with tech, cooking, entertaining, family, business, attitude, and stuff. Each situation presented differently and with varying challenges. Yet they all had one thing in common. They provided me with a choice. I could either dig in and resist, or let go enough to move forward.

What’s interesting is that when we can’t let go, we definitely stay stuck. That “stuck” can manifest itself in physical and emotional ways.

In some cases, letting go meant shifting my attitude. By doing so, I could see that a belief I thought was true wasn’t. Letting go allowed me to open my mind to a different way of thinking and appreciating.

In other instances, I had to ask questions about why I was keeping something that was just taking up real estate and wasn’t being used. Just like many of my organizing clients, I struggled with letting go of some belongings such as books, clothes, and DVDs. I coached myself through the process, and ultimately was able to let go of some “stuff.” And you know what? I don’t miss any of the things that exited. In fact, I feel a little bit lighter.

In the process of my practice runs, I came across a short YouTube video by Knowable about letting go. The timely message resonated with me and I hope it does for you too. Here’s the link:  A psychologist walked around a room . . .

Have you had practice runs with letting go? What has your experience been? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!

Matthew Hoffman, Artist

Are you ready to learn one of the best ways to facilitate letting go?

Parameters.

Set some boundaries or guidelines around your decision-making before you start the actual process of releasing things. Setting parameters in advance will allow you to move faster, decrease stress, and reduce decision fatigue.

Here's one way you might use this concept. Let’s say you have decades worth of health-related newsletters. Some you’ve read and others you haven’t. While you know there’s a lot of interesting information in those pages, the information isn’t current.

Instead of reading through every newsletter, you decide to activate a parameter. You choose that for any health newsletter over five years old, you'll recycle it immediately without looking through the pages. By setting this date parameter, you’ll save yourself hours of reading information that isn’t relevant. Instead, you can use your decision-making energy to make more important choices.

You can use the concept of parameters in other areas, too. Let’s say your closet is overflowing. It’s a daily challenge to get dressed. There’s no space on the racks or shelves to move things around, so you can't see what’s there. You have an abundance of black pants and bulky sweaters, many of which you don't wear.

Instead of organizing the entire closet, you start with only those two categories. You opt to put some guidelines in place and decide that four pairs of black pants and six bulky sweaters are ‘enough.’ Now, it’s a matter of selecting your favorites. With your number parameters in place, letting go is more manageable.

It’s your turn to choose. Which parameters will make the letting go part of your organizing journey easier? Remember that the more parameters you establish in advance, the less decision fatigue you’ll experience, the faster you’ll reach your goals, and the less stress you’ll experience.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. What has your experience been with creating letting-go parameters? 

Difficulty letting go is one of the recurring themes that I frequently encounter in organizing work with clients. In fact, this is often one of the first steps in the organizing process. You can’t organize if you haven’t gone through the editing phase.

Many clients find it extremely challenging to let go of their physical stuff, places, ideas, unhealthy relationships, items from their to-do lists, or unproductive habits. Of course the challenge with letting go isn’t reserved only for clients. I see this also with family, friends, colleagues, and myself.

The tension between holding on and letting go is part of being human.

I find it interesting, too, that even nature is finding it hard to let go this year. Winter just hasn’t seemed ready to transition. Just this week, what should have been a beautiful spring day was anything but that. I was surprised to wake up to plants covered with snow and cool temperatures to match. Spring wants to arrive, but winter isn’t ready to let go and make room for growth.

Isn’t that what our challenge with letting go is all about? We hold on tightly to what we think we might need or want, even if its value or usefulness has long passed. We hold on because it’s familiar or comfortable, and we hold on because we’re fearful of letting go.

So what makes it so hard to let go? For me, it depends on what. I can easily donate clothes I no longer wear or don’t feel good in. However, books that I’ve read and might want to refer to again, I have a much harder time giving away. I keep papers that need to be saved or archived for tax purposes, but junk mail, magazines, or notes that I’ve attended to, I recycle without hesitation.

I suspect that you are much like me. There are things you can easily let go of and others that prove more challenging. I also recognize that sometimes it’s OK to hold on. We might not be ready yet to let go. However, when we are ready to clear those things and thoughts that are holding us back, it is liberating and energizing.

What is hard for you to let go of? What’s easy? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation.

The most frequently asked question by my organizing clients is,

“Where should we start?”

It’s an excellent question for figuring out the next step. The first step was deciding that getting organized was a priority. Now that you’re ready to begin the organizing process, you’re unsure about where to begin. I’ll share some ideas that my clients have found useful.

If you take away nothing else, remember . . . there is no wrong place to start.

To figure out where-to-start, ask more questions.

Are you organizing single, confined areas like closets and drawers?

• If so, have you cleared time in your schedule to complete an entire single project?

• Or, will you need multiple time blocks to complete one single area?

• Base your where-to-start decision on the time component and scheduling the time you need to complete a single spot.

Are you organizing multiple areas, as in many rooms or every room in your home?

Time and scheduling are also part of these multi-phased projects. Also, choosing where-to-start requires asking additional questions because there are so many options. Again, remember that there is no wrong place to start.

Here are some questions consider:

• Which room would be most helpful to organize first?

• Is it the area you spend the most time in?

• Is it the room that’s easiest to organize because it’s almost done?

• Is it the room that’s causing you the most angst?

• Is it the room you know what to do, but just need the time to do it?

• Is it the area that will have the biggest, positive effect on your daily living?

• Is it the one that you feel like organizing today?

• Is it the area that you have the mental and physical energy to work on today?

Some spaces are more emotionally draining than others. Papers, for instance, take a lot longer to process, and decision-fatigue can set in quickly. Clothing closets and drawers are usually faster, and results are realized more easily. Of course, this varies by person. Some of you many love organizing papers and detest closet organizing.

Once you’re in a room, more where-to-start questions arise. They include:

• Do you want to edit the floor first so you can move around more easily?

• Do you want to edit the surfaces (counters, chairs, shelves) first to notice the visual change more quickly?

• Do you want to edit the closets and drawers first to make space for things that don't have any place to be stored?

• Do you want to work in a zigzag pattern or move methodically from one end of the room to another?

• Do you want to edit the biggest, bulkiest items first to make more space?

• Do you want to remove the items to discard first?

Guess what? You know what I’m going to say, right? There is no wrong place to start.

The questions are useful so that you can define your parameters and figure out where to begin. Remember, there are no wrong answers.

I’ve given you a few questions to get you started. What other questions are useful for figuring out where to start organizing? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join our conversation!