The time has come to let go. Perhaps you’re ready and are happily anticipating that sense of freedom. Maybe you’re ambivalent and not sure what it will feel like on the other side. You could also be feeling sadness, impending loss, or resistance. Guess what? All of these feelings around letting go are perfectly normal. There are so many reasons why and what we let go of. Depending on the circumstance, our feelings and attitude about letting go vary wildly.

Maybe you’re moving and need to downsize. Maybe you’re feeling burdened by too much stuff and want to lighten the load. Maybe it’s a new season (yes, spring!) and the change has incentivized you to let go, declutter and organize. Maybe the kids are grown with their own lives and it’s time to let go the things they’ve left behind. What is prompting you to let go now?

Letting go is a regular part of the work I do with clients. While the process is stuff-focused, it’s rarely about the stuff. We might be editing and letting go of for example clothing, books, papers, toys, household goods, art or memorabilia. However, what we’re really doing is making room for the present, releasing things from the past that are making us feel stuck, opening up space in our homes and hearts, and readying ourselves for the next phase of life. So it’s kind of a big deal.  While decisions get made one, small item at a time, the positive outcomes and the feelings surrounding those decisions are huge.

So why is it so hard to let go, even if we know that the outcome will be positive? We’re human. We like to hold on to what we know and understand. There’s comfort and security in that. In general, most of us (not all) don’t like change. Or at least we don’t readily run towards it.

We’ve all experienced or know those who have experienced letting go of things, people, places and stages of life. This month for me is an especially big letting go time. You may have read some of the posts I wrote in the fall and winter about preparing for sale our childhood family home of 57 years. In less than a few weeks it will be sold. A new family will move in by the end of the month. Each time I’ve spent in the house these past months, I’ve been preparing myself for the ultimate letting go.

I am so grateful for all of the wonderful, happy memories that are attached to our family home. I’m grateful for the grounding support and stability the home has given to me and so many family members and friends. While I won’t miss having to care for or maintain the house any longer, I will miss being in the beautiful quiet and memory-filled spaces of our family home.

I know it’s time to let go. My heart is full with tremendous gratitude, love, and yes…sadness. Life goes on. We can’t move forward without letting go.

What are your thoughts about letting go? I’d love to hear what you’re thinking about. Come join the conversation!

Just like nature, we also go through seasons. Some seasons are filled with purpose, clarity, and direction. Other seasons are filled with uncertainty and doubt. There are seasonal transitions from cold to warm, from snow to rain, from gray to color, or from bare to bloom. It’s during these in between times that we can deeply feel like we’re in limbo. When that happens, next can feel murky.

So how can we improve how we handle next, especially when we’re in the uncertain mode? I have a few ideas, but I’d love to hear yours too.

5 Ways to Handle Next When You Are in Limbo

Feel the Limbo

If you quiet yourself, see if you can identify where in your body the angst is felt. Do you sense a rumbling in your belly or butterflies swirling about? Do you feel tightness in your shoulders or jaw? Is your breath shallow? Is your head pounding with pressure? Where in your body is your limbo-state showing up? Notice it. Acknowledge it. Sit with it. Take some slow, deep breaths in and then out. As you exhale, see if you can soften the tension. Practicing mindfulness by getting in touch with how our body feels and helping it to relax, will make us more available for the present and for next.

Sip Some Tea

Slowing down to enjoy a cup of tea (or coffee, if you prefer) can be a kindness you give to yourself during this waiting time. Allow yourself to focus on making the tea. Watch the bubbles boil. Listen to the sound of pouring the water into your favorite mug. Notice the clear water turn darker as the tealeaves brew. Breathe in the aroma. Savor that first sip of warm tea as it enters your mouth, travels down your throat and to your belly. It’s as if you’re drinking a warm hug. Leisurely experience the tea-drinking ritual as you slowly calm yourself and prepare for next.

Exercise Some Patience

We can be so terribly hard on ourselves. Especially during transitions, we are often missing certain pieces that we need to make decisions. We have to wait a day or a week or a month or more.  And you know what? We don’t like to wait, do we? Remember that you won’t always be in limbo. Recall other times when you exercised patience to secure the outcome you desired. Remember that instant isn’t always possible or even desirable. Be patient. Have confidence that in time you will find the answers you need to figure out next.

Form a Habit

Sometimes we postpone doing something that’s good for us, while we’re waiting for next. However, we can use this transition time to form one new habit that will have positive life-affirming benefits. Think about something simple and achievable. Think about something that will make you feel healthier, happier, or more content. Think about one thing that you currently aren’t doing, but would be beneficial if you began. You could brush your teeth each morning and night. You could take a 15-minute walk each day. You could declutter one surface every day. You could write one sentence a day in a gratitude journal. You could meditate for 10 minutes a day. You could...

Do One Thing

One of the benefits of moving forward is that feeling of accomplishment or endorphin rush we experience when we get stuff done. And while it’s important to focus on doing things that matter for our larger goals, sometimes, it’s helpful to just do one thing. One and done. It’s not a regular or daily thing. It’s just one thing. That thing doesn’t have to be huge or complicated. It does need to be something that will lift your spirits. You’d be surprised how small the thing can be. Don’t underestimate the power of organizing your junk drawer, or filling up a bag of clothing to donate, or calling a friend you haven’t talked with in a while. Try it and let me know what happens. We can do one, small thing, which will promote positive feelings and help pave the way for next.

What helps you navigate through to next when you’re in limbo? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!

The quality of our answers, depend on the questions we ask. When we’re stuck or overwhelmed it’s challenging to even come up with good questions. When this happens, it’s great to have a list to help. You may have your own tried and true questions to get you to next. And if so, I’d love to hear some of those. However, if you’d like to add some new questions to your list, or start a list, I’ve got some breakthrough ones for you.

One of my favorite thinkers and writers is Todd Henry, founder of Accidental Creative, and author of several books including his most recent one, Herding Tigers – Be The Leader Than Creative People Need. Several years ago, I had the opportunity to interview Todd about next steps for the Ask the Expert series. You can revisit that interview here.

I’m always interested in what Todd is thinking about. Recently, I came across a great list of questions he shared for when you’re stuck. So if you’re not sure how to find next, consider some of the questions that Todd suggests. Below are some of my favorites:

Todd Henry’s "Questions to ask when you’re stuck:"

• What am I afraid of?

• Who could solve this problem with ease, and how?

• How would my favorite super hero do it?

• Could I ask the question differently?

• What question do I need to answer first?

• What’s the primary block and why?

• Is there a resource I’m lacking?

• Who can I call for help?

Of course I don’t know what you’re grappling with. However, if you’re having challenges with getting organized and where to start, please consider reaching out to a family, friend, or professional organizer like me. I could be just the resource you need to move forward. I love helping people work through their organizational challenges!

Are you trying to figure out next? What are your favorite questions to ask? I’d love to know more. Come join the conversation!

Especially for many of you in the northeast, this has been a rough bunch of weeks with one nor’easter after the next. While our home had heat, water and power, many of our friends and neighbors weren’t so lucky. People were displaced and frustrated. When the basics of life that we rely on and frankly often take for granted, are no longer available, everything about daily living becomes more challenging. Our equilibrium is disturbed. Figuring out which steps to take next feels overwhelming.

Last week, I attended Amy Reyer’s wonderful workshop on meditation, mindfulness and attentional intelligence. Several of the people in the class had been or knew people that were affected by the storm. Some felt anxious about returning home to uncertainty due to the storm. One of the ideas from the workshop that stuck with me was “patient attention.” What we pay attention to and cultivate manifests in our lives. That could be compassion, relationships or anything. The more we pay attention to that thing, the more it grows. The other idea discussed was that attention is a skill. Meditation helps cultivate that skill.

So how does this relate to next? In times of stress(be it storms, loss of loved ones, or health challenges), we need to be gentle, patient and kind to ourselves. We can focus our attention in that positive way. That will look and feel different for each person. Take the time you need to let next unfold slowly. Clarity will come.

A Gentle Next Step

Are you gentle with yourself during challenging times? What helps you take next steps? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!