What becomes possible when we shift our thinking to the “what if” mode? I’m talking about letting go and allowing ideas to generate without judgment or negative commentary or disparaging remarks. Where will your thoughts take you?

In truth, permitting yourself to dream and allowing the “what ifs” to surface can be challenging for some. Is it for you?

Enjoy some space to explore...

Do you need help getting your “what if” juices flowing?  If so, try one of these strategies:

1. Nature Nudge – Being outside, especially this time of year when the fall leaves are changing color, helps us expand our thinking. On several recent outside jaunts, it was impossible not to feel inspired by the views around me. The expansiveness of nature’s beauty opened my mind to larger, unencumbered thinking. Being surrounded by the fresh air and blue skies allowed me to breathe in positivity.

2. People Nudge – Having stimulating conversations with your people (family, friends, or colleagues) is a great way of encouraging the “what if?” mode. Being around others that are thinking big and imagining what’s possible can inspire us to expand beyond our current constraints. I just returned from the Institute for Challenging Disorganization (ICD) conference in Denver where I had the opportunity to exchange ideas with wonderful colleagues from around the world. It was definitely a “what if?” idea booster.

3. Paper Nudge – Allow your inner thoughts to be captured on paper. This is another way to shift into the possibility-thinking mode. If paper isn’t your medium, try other ways to download your ideas like using a voice recorder or computer. I use a combination of techniques including writing with a pen in my journal, typing on a keyboard, and talking out loud with others.

There are many other ways to get the “what if” thoughts flowing. Have you tried, organizing your space, traveling, exercising, creating, showering, or reading? What actions work for you? What’s possible this season? Come join the conversation. 

Dorothy Breininger

Dorothy Breininger "Ask the Expert" interview about SuccessIt’s time again for the “Ask the Expert” interview series, which connects you with industry thought leaders. This year we’ve spoken with Dr. April Lane Benson about enlisting help, Leslie Josel about motivation, David Allen about time management, Peter Walsh about clutter, Sheila Delson about letting go, Laura Berman Fortgang about next steps, Judith Kolberg about change, and Sue West about fresh starts. This month I’m exited to bring you organizing expert, Dorothy Breininger, to share her insights and experience about success.

Dorothy and I go way back, having met many years ago through our industry association, the National Association of Professional Organizers (NAPO.) Dorothy exudes positive energy and confidence that I’ve always admired. I recently had the pleasure of hosting an excellent teleclass she presented for the Institute for Challenging Disorganization (ICD) about Hoarding Interventions. She is a wonderful presenter with a vast wealth of knowledge and a clear way of evaluating options. My sincere gratitude goes to Dorothy for taking the time to join us. Before we begin, here’s more about her.

Dorothy Breininger is America’s Most Innovative Professional Organizer, best-selling author of Stuff Your Face or Face Your Stuff, and creator of the “Curb The Chaos” System, which helps individuals conquer their clutter (physical, emotional and body clutter) in a pleasing and fun way. Dorothy is one of A&E’s expert organizers on the Emmy-nominated weekly TV series, “Hoarders.” She appears on the Today Show, the Dr. Phil Show, the View, QVC and PBS in addition to being featured in the Wall Street Journal, Forbes, and O Magazine. You can connect with her on Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, Pinterest, blog or website.

Linda Samuels:  As a nationally recognized organizing expert, author, speaker and coach, you inspire others to make positive changes in their lives? How can we best prepare ourselves for success?

Dorothy Breininger:  It may sound silly, but I have found most of my success has come to me in these recent years. I truly believe that by getting plenty of sleep (yes, that means a bed time), studying or learning about my current and focused goals, and meditating on BEING successful are the best ways to prepare ourselves for success.

Linda:  How does failure relate to success?

Dorothy:I love this question! Failure is the KEY to success. Failure gives you the opportunity to review your mistakes, self correct, and develop a new strategy to make the project, relationship, or goal work. With failure, you get a complete “do over” if you are just willing to look at it as a learning strategy for your own personalized success.

Linda:  What are some essential success ingredients?

Dorothy:

• Maintain life balance. Do not forsake relationships with friends and family for the sole purpose of success.

• Say “No” often. Be very selective about the people you hang with, the meetings you attend, the volunteer positions you accept.

• Avoid responding to nasty emails, social media posts, or phone calls when you are angry or frustrated. Always ask for guidance from the universe (or a trusted friend) to help you respond to others in a dignified way – even when they are inappropriate in their dealings with you.

Linda:  Do you have a philosophy about success?

Dorothy:  Hang on just a little longer than everyone else.  Many people will “self eliminate” themselves from the competition, job, or goal. Don’t give up before the miracle happens.  Being impatient for your success to arrive might completely knock you out of the game. Hang in there and repeatedly tell yourself that the success will come and it will.

Linda:  What has been your biggest personal challenge with navigating success?

Dorothy:  I have had soooooooooo many personal challenges in navigating success.  One example was thinking that workaholism was the answer to creating success.  I worked around the clock – at the expense of my good health and intimate relationships. This was a clear mistake.  Now, I get more sleep, eat more healthily, have most weekends off and am experiencing more success than when I was a workaholic. Go figure!

Linda:  Is there anything else you’d like to share about success that I haven’t asked?

Dorothy:  Apologize to others when you’ve made a mistake.  Sometimes our colleagues don’t like to accept our apologies – they may wish to hold a grudge instead.  The apology on our part however releases any resentments YOU may have and you will always be able look back proudly and say, “Yes, I handled this in the best way I could.”

Thank you, Dorothy for sharing your ideas about success. I love how you emphasize the importance of self-care and balance as essential success ingredients. I also like how you regard failure as a learning opportunity and chance for a “do over.”

I invite you to join Dorothy and me as we continue the conversation. We’d love to hear your thoughts about success. What resonates with you?

What makes an organizing session successful? In the 20 plus years I’ve been working with clients, I’ve observed many things that have created positive organizing visits. Both organizer and client contribute to the success. If you desire a better organizing experience, consider adding some of these “ingredients” into the mix.

12 Ingredients For Successful Organizing Appointments

1. Self-Care – Organizing takes physical and emotional energy. Taking care of your basic needs are essential. It's important that you and your organizer are well rested, hydrated, and have eaten prior to organizing. When you’re exhausted and hungry, it’s more challenging to think clearly, be creative, and make decisions.

2. Distractions – Eliminate as many distractions as possible. Some common ones include phone calls, email, digital “dings,” visitors, pets or children. Think about what you can do in advance to minimize distractions so that you can receive full benefit from the organizing session that you’ve committed time and resources towards.

3. Trust – Establishing a trusting relationship is crucial. You might feel uncomfortable with someone seeing or touching your stuff. Just remember that your organizer needs to be someone you trust. They are there to support and help you and not to judge you.

4. Clarity – It’s important to understand some basic parameters at the start of each organizing session. Include these:

• What is the session’s focus?
• What are your goals for today?
• How many hours will we work?
• Are the goals realistic based on the time allotted?
• Are there any concerns or relevant information that might influence what we’ll do or how we’ll be working?

5. Preparation – In addition to thinking about what project you’ll be working on, collect the basic supplies you’ll need. Supplies might include sorting containers, markers, place to make notes, or receptacles like bins or trash bags for items being donated or removed.

6. Atmosphere – Organizing can be fun, especially if you lighten the mood with music, laughter, singing, and even dancing (and yes, I’ve done them all.)  There are also simple environmental enhancements that can boost the success of an organizing session. If the rooms are dark, turn on more lights or bring in additional lamps. If you respond well to aromas, burn a favorite candle with an uplifting or energizing scent. Consider the room temperature and make the necessary adjustments to be more comfortable.

7. Decisions – The client is the decision-maker and gets to establish the parameters for what stays, goes, gets touched or not. The organizer is the facilitator, supporter, question-asker, timekeeper, goals-reminder, and cheerleader. Successful sessions are client-centered.

8. Strengths – Notice what’s already working well. Pay attention to your strengths and what you’re good at. Collaborate with your organizer to design systems and strategies that play to your strengths and how you process. Some examples include activating visual, auditory, kinesthetic, verbal or emotional organizing strategies. Denslow Brown, organizer, coach and author, identifies nine of the modalities in her book, The Processing Modalities Guide.

9. Breaks – Include snacks, water, caffeine, or fresh air breaks when needed. It's time for a break when you notice waning energy levels, decision fatique, decreased focus, or agitation. Breaks might also include switching projects midstream. This could be driven by attention needs or a desire to shift to a less emotionally intense project.

10. Letting Go – Successful organizing sessions include letting go whether it’s physical objects, pre-conceived notions, negative thinking, or calendar clutter. While the challenge to let go can range from easy to ambivalent to impossible, clients often share with me how great they feel once they’ve done it. This is reflected in a positive shift in their mood, which is noticeable by their smiles, laughter, giddiness, and open, receptive body language.

11. Review – Know where you are at the beginning, middle and end of each session. Know where you’ve been, where you’re heading, where you are, and what you’ve accomplished. Discuss follow through items to be handled between appointments by organizer and client. Review the schedule for when you’ll connect and next meet.

12. Compassion – The most successful organizing sessions include full servings of compassion. Negative self-talk and disparaging remarks get left behind. Positive language like, “I’m becoming more organized,” or “I’m working on my organizing goals,” is substituted. We all struggle with something. We are all works in progress.

Have you experienced a successful organizing session? What ingredient was part of your mix? Come join the conversation and share.

Do you wish your kids were more organized? Do you get frustrated trying to help them? I was curious about how others taught and transferred organizing skills to their own children. So, I enlisted help from a wonderful group of colleagues (Stephanie Calahan, Leslie Josel, Helena Alkhas, Ellen Delap, Yota Schneider, Diana Quintana and Aby Garvey.) I asked them, “What organizing success strategy have you passed on to your children? How did you accomplish that?”  Their responses are motivating and inspiring. My gratitude goes to each of them for sharing their personal stories with us. If you want your children to become more organized, keep reading to discover some kid-tested organizing success tips that might work for you.

What organizing success strategy have you passed on to your children? How did you accomplish that? . . .

7 Kid-Tested Organizing Success Tips

1. Small Steps

“Ever since my son was small we have worked with him to understand how to take big projects and break them into simple doable steps. For example, cleaning his bathroom breaks down into gathering the supplies needed and then cleaning the mirror, counter, sink, tub/shower, toilet and floor. We did this by sitting with him and having him think through the steps and we'd fill in the blanks when he would get stuck. Now that he is twelve, we use the same strategy for his school and extra curricular activities. We found that by giving him the opportunity to think it through first, he is quite independent with most of his work and often gets it done ahead of schedule because he has thought through the variables.“

Stephanie LH Calahan– The Big Vision Catalyst, Business Strategist, Author and Producer

2. Prompts

“The organizing success strategy that I’ve taught my children is to use external prompts to remind them of tasks or responsibilities they need to get done. So if they need to do homework, call a friend, walk the dog, put dinner in the oven, etc. They’ve been taught to set timers, phones, alarms, or use visual and written prompts. I started teaching them this strategy by asking them the question, “How are you going to remember to…” and having them work out the strategy that would best fit the task. It’s not enough to ask them to do something but ask them how they are going to remember or prompt themselves to do it.”

Leslie Josel – ADHD Specialist & Author

3. Routines

“I am a believer in having routines to structure our time, know what comes next and to be more productive. We have a clear routine that "guides" us through the day and the kids grew up with that. From the moment they wake up, through going to school and back, all the way to going to bed at night we follow a "self-care/school" checklist that helps them cross the dots of daily life and lets them know when is work time, when is play time. This also teaches them to be independent and to self-guide. As a parent it is my hope that this will stay with them and help them when they have to leave and be on their own.”

Helena Alkhas– Professional Organizer & Virtual Assistant

4. Practice

“My kids are amazing, organized parents! They are list makers with a family calendar in their kitchens. They organize not only their closets, but also their children’s clothes.  Each has a file cabinet with easy access, simple filing. How did this happen?  It’s all about talking the talk and walking the walk.  Living in a home with organized parents created the expectation that organizing is an important life skill.  We focused on strengths, talked about organizing, and down played perfectionism.  They practiced as teens and young adults.  Now as parents of young children they have created organizing solutions in their own homes.”

Ellen Delap, CPO®  – Professional Organizer, Productivity Consultant & Family Manager Coach

5. Preparation

“August is traditionally Back to School month and there's tremendous marketing pressure to get out there and buy. The girls, high school juniors, know that I'm not going Back to School shopping unless they've inventoried their closets and desks, assessed their needs and wants, and de-cluttered their space.

Piles of paper, old homework and folders head to the recycling bin, used up school supplies are thrown away, and clothes they've outgrown and are usable head to the donation pile. Next, they create a prioritized list of their needs and wants. I assure them that they'll always get what they need and occasionally what they want. What they’ve learned is that, in order to make room for the new, we simply have to let go of the old and outdated!"

Yota Schneider, Seasons of Change Certified Master Coach – Life Transitions Coach, Workshops & Retreat Facilitator, Blogger, & Mindfulness Meditation Practitioner

6. Completion

“There is a saying that goes like this: Don’t put it down, put it away. I used this saying over and over with my two boys. When they were very young I asked them to put something away when they were finished with it. This translated to games they were playing with when they were very young. As they grew older this saying could also be applied to things like clothes (in a laundry basket or hung up), dishes in the dishwasher, homework in the correct binder, and taking things they belonged to them back to their rooms.”

Diane N. Quintana, CPO®, CPO-CD®– Professional Organizer & Author

7. Letting Go

“By organizing and decluttering with my kids since they were very young, I've taught them how to let go of things they no longer use or love. For one of my kids, letting go didn't come easy. It required a lot of patience and a long-term focus on my part, as we spent hours going through her stuffed animals, clothing, toys, and books. I always let my kids make the decisions, and never let go of anything behind their backs. In the process, I've taught them that letting go is a natural part of life and maintained their trust.”

Aby Garvey – Professional Organizer, Author, & Online Class Instructor

I love this collection of strategies from my colleagues! As a parent with two daughters in college and beyond, I have spent a lot of time teaching them organizing skills. The investment was worthwhile. I marvel at how they’ve integrated those skills regularly and naturally into their lives. Here are some more articles about transferring organizing skills to our children:

Failing Your Way to Success by Linda Samuels

Moms’ “To Do” Lists by Linda Samuels

Cutting the Organizing Umbilical Cord by Leslie Josel

11 Tips to Conquer Your Child’s Clutter by Aby Garvey

Which organizing success tips resonate with you? Do you have additional ones to share? Come join the conversation.