Here we are now. Spring is officially arriving this week. You may be sensing rumblings within as you notice nature changing around you. You might be poised and at the brink of wanting to take your next small step towards a new or current goal. You might also be feeling anxious, ambivalent, fearful, excited, ready or not. When I help others to organize and find balance during times of transition and change those next steps are crucial. Taking one tiny stride after another propels us ahead.

Over the 26 plus years I’ve been organizing, I’ve observed that the critical ingredient for next, as the condiment of life, is the ability to let go. Without releasing, there will be no forward movement. Letting go doesn’t happen overnight. We need to exercise our letting go muscles by starting small. This strengthens our tolerance while building confidence. It’s essential to release the “stuff” of life (physical and emotional) that won’t be useful to you on this part of your journey.  

Consider next steps and letting go as a beautiful, poignant dance between the heart, mind, and body.

As many of you know, I have a daily mindfulness meditation practice. I like to work with guided meditations led by various practitioners. One of the teachers I listen to on the Insight Timer app is Annemaree Rowley from Australia. One of my favorite teachings of hers is the “Letting Go Meditation.” At the end of the practice, she shares a profound poem by the poet, Erin Hanson about letting go. I love the message and I hope that it will also resonate with you.

I was the type of person,

That held onto things too tight,

Unable to release my grip,

When it no longer felt right,

And although it gave me blisters,

And my fingers would all ache,

I always thought that holding on,

Was worth the pain it takes.

I used to think in losing things,

I’d lose part of me too,

That slowly I’d become someone,

My heart no longer knew.

Then one day something happened,

I dropped what I had once held dear,

But my soul became much lighter,

Instead of filled with fear.

And it taught my heart that some things,

Aren’t meant to last for long,

They arrive to teach you lessons,

And then continue on.

You don’t have to cling to people,

Who no longer make you smile,

Or do something you’ve come to hate,

If it isn’t worth your while.

That sometimes the thing you’re fighting for,

Isn’t worth the cost,

And not everything you ever lose,

Is bound to be a loss.

- e.h.

What have you experienced about next steps and letting go? Did any phrases from Erin Hanson’s poem spark an idea? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

It’s hard to say goodbye and let go. At least, it is for me. As a matter of fact, for some, it’s so painful that they avoid it at all costs. After all, who likes pain? There are times, however, when we can no longer hold on. We learn to lean in towards the sadness and accept that it’s part of life. When it’s time to let go, we often feel loss. We’re aware that things are changing. We might pine for the past.

There are ways to let go lovingly, compassionately, and gently.  What works will be unique for each of us. This week, as I prepared myself to say my final goodbyes to our family home of 57 years, I identified some strategies that helped me along the way. I hope some of these ideas will help you when it’s time to let go.

10 Gentle Ways That I Learned to Let Go

1. Writing For Others– During the house organizing, clearing, and sale process, which began about seven months ago, I started sharing some of the discoveries with you through my blog. How to Improve Life Balance When Organizing Your Stuff is one of the posts from that series. Writing about my experiences in this way and having a dialogue with those experiencing similar things helped me process what was happening, connect with others in a more significant way, and let go, little by little, one blog post at a time.

2. Talking With Loved Ones – I don’t know what I would have done without the love, support, and wonderful listening ears of my husband, daughters, siblings, and other family members and friends. Collectively, they listened as I navigated the good days and challenging ones. They commiserated and offered their help and support. It was their supportive listening that was most appreciated. They supported me as I went through the challenges of transitioning out of the family home and letting go of it and all of its contents. 

3. Practicing Mindfulness– For the last year and a half, I’ve been practicing mindfulness meditation and living more mindfully. While there were a few months that I took a break from meditating daily, I’ve been pretty consistent. The practice has helped me to focus on the present, make peace with the past, and not get too anxious about the future. This practice of being present and mindful of the moment has also helped me beyond measure with letting go of the family home, and all that was within it. We have now, not then. We have now, not the future. We can hold our memories close, but if we focus too much on the past, we’ll miss what’s right in front of us…the present. Mindfulness practice has taught me that letting go is a path to being present.

4. Laughing Out Loud – On the day of the final house clear-out, Junkluggers had just emptied the remaining furniture from my dad’s office. Things looked stark and sad. Something on the floor caught my eye that had been hidden under the credenza. I bent down to pick it up and discovered the “OY VEY!” computer key I’d given to my dad years ago. My entire mood lightened. I burst out laughing. In that moment, I felt the love, support, and shared sense of humor my dad and I always had together. The laughter helped me let go a bit more that day and know that things were going to be just fine. During those challenging times of letting go, don’t underestimate the power of a good laugh.

5. Documenting the Process – As many of you know, I love taking photos. Thank you, iPhone! During this period, I took tons of photos as I sorted, edited, sent off, and let go of stuff. As I worked, I often shared images of my latest discoveries with my siblings, husband or kids. Together, we enjoyed the memories they invoked. Documenting and sharing things in this way helped me to more easily let go of the physical items. 

6. Writing in My Journal– Different from writing the blog posts, which were for public view, I also wrote in my private journal during this time. I’ve been journaling for 46 years. While I’m pretty open on the blog, my personal journal provided me with another venue for processing feelings and thoughts about what was happening. Writing in this personal way helped me to let go.

Below is a passage from one of my journal entries:

“What I understand is that letting go doesn’t mean we have to forget. It just means that we release ourselves from holding on. We release ourselves from an obligation or responsibility or expectation. We make a bit more space in our hearts and mind for new energy to flow. We lift the anchor. We sail on.”

— Linda Samuels

7. Saying Goodbye With My Daughter – The week we closed on the house, my oldest daughter, Allison, came with me to see the house for her last time. I knew I’d see the house again that week. But having her there to say her goodbyes, to take photos (yes, we took selfies) and to reminisce together, meant so much to me. Being there together side-by-side gave me great comfort. I let go a little more that day.

8. Documenting the Memories – On the day before the closing, I went to the house to say my final goodbyes. As I pulled into the driveway and walked up the path, a cute brown bunny hopped up the path and led me to the door. It was so funny and unusual to have this bunny escort. I went through every inch of the house taking short 20-60 second clips of each room. As I filmed, I talked out loud about what I was seeing and remembering. I walked around the first floor, then the basement, then to the top floor, and finally outside. I took my time and soaked in what I was seeing, feeling, hearing, and smelling. The past and the present were melding into one big picture, a picture that I would now have to hold in my mind and heart. I walked. I talked. I filmed. I cried. I said my goodbyes and let go.

9. Providing Safe Passage– In the organizing industry we have a term, “safe passage.” It has to do with letting go. If you’re able to find a good home for the things that you’re letting go of, you’ll feel better and more at peace with saying goodbye and letting go of those things. During the family home clear-out and sale, this was definitely true for me. It was easier to let go of the physical contents when I knew it was going to someone who would benefit from or appreciate it.  Having the home itself be bought by a family that would love and care for it as much as we did was also important to us. For the new family and to prepare the home itself for safe passage, I compiled an accordion file of house info essentials, including keys, manuals, and vendors. I also wrote them a note and left a gift basket. Doing these things made me feel that the house and its contents received safe passage, which provided some closure and allowed me to more easily let go.

10. Letting Go With Love– The last gesture that helped me let go and say my final goodbye was to make something. For me, creating is something that I enjoy, but also something that helps me process my thoughts and emotions. While there are many outlets that I use, like writing or photography, for this particular goodbye, I chose to make a video that blended music, words, and images of the house and family in the past and present. I shared it with my family and friends and am now sharing it with you. Different from the other videos that I create, this one is long (close to 9 minutes.) So don’t feel obligated to watch it. It’s not a marketing piece, which I intentionally keep short. It’s a piece about love, family, and letting go of my childhood home of 57 years.

Click below to watch "Goodbye, home." video . . .

Big exhale, folks. I’m feeling lighter and happier knowing that our home is in good hands, that all the stuff has found good homes, and that life will continue on in its beautiful, wondrous ways. What resonated with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts about letting go. Join the conversation!

The newest installment (v18) of the “What’s Interesting?” feature is here with my latest discoveries that inform, educate, and relate to organizing and life balance. I’ve included unique and inspiring letting go-related finds, which reflect this month’s blog theme. You are such an incredibly engaged group and I am so grateful for you. I look forward to your participation and additions to the collection I’ve sourced. What do you find interesting?

What’s Interesting? . . .

1. Interesting Read – Letting Go Habits

We live packed, fast-paced lives with full schedules, lots of possessions and many distractions. In The Power of Less – The Fine Art of Limiting Yourself to the Essential . . . in Business and in Life, Leo Babauta, writer and blogger at Zen Habits, encourages readers to simplify all aspects of your life.  Babauta says, “Simplicity boils down to two steps: 1. Identify the essential. 2. Eliminate the rest.” He shares principles such as setting limits, changing habits and adjusting focus for letting go of our needing more mindset. Practical strategies for applying these principles to goal setting, time management, decluttering and other areas are also discussed. There are some gems throughout, but I especially appreciate the overall focus on moving towards less. Babauta says, “Focus on the essential and allow everything else to drop away. It’ll make you much happier, less stressed, and perhaps surprisingly, more productive.”

2. Interesting Research  –Letting Go Psychology

Some of the reasons why letting go becomes challenging is that we get attached to or have an exaggerated sense of responsibility towards our belongings. In this short TED-Ed video by Christian Jarrett, “Why are we so attached to our things?” he explains some of the research and psychology behind our attachments. For example, Jean Piaget, a Swiss psychologist who pioneered work in child development, identified the “endowment effect.” Early in life a sense of ownership emerges where we value something more highly as soon as we own it. This can make letting go more difficult. Understanding more about our attachments can be the opening you need to start letting go.

3. Interesting Trend – Letting Go Motivation

Margareta Magnusson

Recently, I came across a phrase that made me curious. It was “Swedish death cleaning.” Have you heard of it? Margareta Magnusson, a Swedish artist and author of The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning – How to Free Yourself and Your Family from a Lifetime of Clutter,”uses the inevitability of death as the motivation to let go of your unnecessary possessions. The idea behind death cleaning is to reduce the amount of stuff that you leave behind for others to deal with. As someone that has helped many clients to downsize, de-possess or let go of their deceased loved ones things, I understand the value in taking personal responsibility for your own things so that others won’t have to. Reframing the idea of letting go, as a gift to our loved ones could be just the motivation needed to get you through.  

4. Interesting Product – Letting Go Flash Cards

One of the most innovative thinkers and authors in the organizing industry is my friend and colleague, Judith Kolberg. True to her creative process, she developed the “Get Rid of Your Stuff” flash cards. If you’re feeling stuck with what to do with your excess things, you’ll want these cards. There are a dozen different options for letting things go, like donating or selling them, along with tips for each category. Supercharge your decision-making and letting go skills with this well thought out product.

5. Interesting Thought – Letting Go Breath

Have you ever noticed when you hold on too tightly your body tenses up? Your breathing becomes shallow or you might even hold your breath. Holding on requires energy. When we hold on to things, people and places that no longer support us, we’re expending energy and effort that could be released or used in other ways. Let go and release your grip. Take a deep breath in. Let a big exhale out. Repeat as needed. Let go of what’s holding you back.

What are your interesting finds? Which of these resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!

The time has come to let go. Perhaps you’re ready and are happily anticipating that sense of freedom. Maybe you’re ambivalent and not sure what it will feel like on the other side. You could also be feeling sadness, impending loss, or resistance. Guess what? All of these feelings around letting go are perfectly normal. There are so many reasons why and what we let go of. Depending on the circumstance, our feelings and attitude about letting go vary wildly.

Maybe you’re moving and need to downsize. Maybe you’re feeling burdened by too much stuff and want to lighten the load. Maybe it’s a new season (yes, spring!) and the change has incentivized you to let go, declutter and organize. Maybe the kids are grown with their own lives and it’s time to let go the things they’ve left behind. What is prompting you to let go now?

Letting go is a regular part of the work I do with clients. While the process is stuff-focused, it’s rarely about the stuff. We might be editing and letting go of for example clothing, books, papers, toys, household goods, art or memorabilia. However, what we’re really doing is making room for the present, releasing things from the past that are making us feel stuck, opening up space in our homes and hearts, and readying ourselves for the next phase of life. So it’s kind of a big deal.  While decisions get made one, small item at a time, the positive outcomes and the feelings surrounding those decisions are huge.

So why is it so hard to let go, even if we know that the outcome will be positive? We’re human. We like to hold on to what we know and understand. There’s comfort and security in that. In general, most of us (not all) don’t like change. Or at least we don’t readily run towards it.

We’ve all experienced or know those who have experienced letting go of things, people, places and stages of life. This month for me is an especially big letting go time. You may have read some of the posts I wrote in the fall and winter about preparing for sale our childhood family home of 57 years. In less than a few weeks it will be sold. A new family will move in by the end of the month. Each time I’ve spent in the house these past months, I’ve been preparing myself for the ultimate letting go.

I am so grateful for all of the wonderful, happy memories that are attached to our family home. I’m grateful for the grounding support and stability the home has given to me and so many family members and friends. While I won’t miss having to care for or maintain the house any longer, I will miss being in the beautiful quiet and memory-filled spaces of our family home.

I know it’s time to let go. My heart is full with tremendous gratitude, love, and yes…sadness. Life goes on. We can’t move forward without letting go.

What are your thoughts about letting go? I’d love to hear what you’re thinking about. Come join the conversation!