When we let go, what happens? We remove resistance. We free ourselves from angst and stress. We allow our minds and days to flow more smoothly. We give ourselves a break from holding on so tightly. We exhale.

I don’t know about you, but lately for me, I’ve had a multitude of opportunities to practice my letting go skills, or as I like to say, “letting go muscles.”

My letting go practice has tested me with tech, cooking, entertaining, family, business, attitude, and stuff. Each situation presented differently and with varying challenges. Yet they all had one thing in common. They provided me with a choice. I could either dig in and resist, or let go enough to move forward.

What’s interesting is that when we can’t let go, we definitely stay stuck. That “stuck” can manifest itself in physical and emotional ways.

In some cases, letting go meant shifting my attitude. By doing so, I could see that a belief I thought was true wasn’t. Letting go allowed me to open my mind to a different way of thinking and appreciating.

In other instances, I had to ask questions about why I was keeping something that was just taking up real estate and wasn’t being used. Just like many of my organizing clients, I struggled with letting go of some belongings such as books, clothes, and DVDs. I coached myself through the process, and ultimately was able to let go of some “stuff.” And you know what? I don’t miss any of the things that exited. In fact, I feel a little bit lighter.

In the process of my practice runs, I came across a short YouTube video by Knowable about letting go. The timely message resonated with me and I hope it does for you too. Here’s the link:  A psychologist walked around a room . . .

Have you had practice runs with letting go? What has your experience been? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!

Matthew Hoffman, Artist

Are you ready to learn one of the best ways to facilitate letting go?

Parameters.

Set some boundaries or guidelines around your decision-making before you start the actual process of releasing things. Setting parameters in advance will allow you to move faster, decrease stress, and reduce decision fatigue.

Here's one way you might use this concept. Let’s say you have decades worth of health-related newsletters. Some you’ve read and others you haven’t. While you know there’s a lot of interesting information in those pages, the information isn’t current.

Instead of reading through every newsletter, you decide to activate a parameter. You choose that for any health newsletter over five years old, you'll recycle it immediately without looking through the pages. By setting this date parameter, you’ll save yourself hours of reading information that isn’t relevant. Instead, you can use your decision-making energy to make more important choices.

You can use the parameter concept for other areas, too. Let’s say your closet is overflowing. It’s a daily challenge to get dressed. There’s no space on the racks or shelves to move things around, so you can't see what’s there. You have an abundance of black pants and bulky sweaters, many of which you don't wear.

Instead of organizing the entire closet, you start with only those two categories. You opt to put some guidelines in place and decide that four pairs of black pants and six bulky sweaters are ‘enough.’ Now, it’s a matter of selecting your favorites. With your number parameters in place, letting go is more manageable.

It’s your turn to choose. Which parameters will make the letting go part of your organizing journey easier? Remember that the more parameters you establish in advance, the less decision fatigue you’ll experience, the faster you’ll reach your goals, and the less stress you’ll experience.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. What has your experience been with creating letting go parameters? 

Difficulty letting go is one of the recurring themes that I frequently encounter in organizing work with clients. In fact, this is often one of the first steps in the organizing process. You can’t organize if you haven’t gone through the editing phase.

Many clients find it extremely challenging to let go of their physical stuff, places, ideas, unhealthy relationships, items from their to-do lists, or unproductive habits. Of course the challenge with letting go isn’t reserved only for clients. I see this also with family, friends, colleagues, and myself.

The tension between holding on and letting go is part of being human.

I find it interesting, too, that even nature is finding it hard to let go this year. Winter just hasn’t seemed ready to transition. Just this week, what should have been a beautiful spring day was anything but that. I was surprised to wake up to plants covered with snow and cool temperatures to match. Spring wants to arrive, but winter isn’t ready to let go and make room for growth.

Isn’t that what our challenge with letting go is all about? We hold on tightly to what we think we might need or want, even if its value or usefulness has long passed. We hold on because it’s familiar or comfortable, and we hold on because we’re fearful of letting go.

So what makes it so hard to let go? For me, it depends on what. I can easily donate clothes I no longer wear or don’t feel good in. However, books that I’ve read and might want to refer to again, I have a much harder time giving away. I keep papers that need to be saved or archived for tax purposes, but junk mail, magazines, or notes that I’ve attended to, I recycle without hesitation.

I suspect that you are much like me. There are things you can easily let go of and others that prove more challenging. I also recognize that sometimes it’s OK to hold on. We might not be ready yet to let go. However, when we are ready to clear those things and thoughts that are holding us back, it is liberating and energizing.

What is hard for you to let go of? What’s easy? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation.

My client gave me permission to share this story. During a recent organizing session we were sorting and editing when she came across one item that she wasn’t sure what to do with. She wanted to keep it, but didn’t have a place or category to pair it with.

To figure out the puzzle, I asked some questions to learn more about the item and it’s significance to her. Within a few minutes she determined that it was something she might bring out for her children to play with (supervision needed) when they had a short time to play. After a few more questions, she decided that containing it in a box with a label and storing it in her closet would work.

Just to recap, we discovered an item without a home, discussed what it was about, and determined the best way and place to store it. Labeling the box was key. What’s in a name? In this case, she came up with a label name that’s one of the best ones I’ve ever typed in the 20+ years I’ve been organizing. It says,

“15 Minutes of Fun!”

I love that. Now I want a box with that name.

What does this have to do with letting go? How often do you feel you need hours or days to have fun, get organized, or ____________  (fill in the blank)? Because you don’t, you postpone fun. You postpone organizing. You postpone moving forward. The reality is that in a short time you can enjoy, do a lot, or even a little. Days are segmented. We feel like we’re supposed to work or play in long time blocks. We don’t often have the luxury of endless, continuous hours.

The next time you’re thinking that you don’t have time to __________, remember the “15 Minutes of Fun” box and see if you can motivate yourself to use the short burst of time that you do have.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. What resonates with you? Come join the conversation.