In the last several months, I’ve been reading a lot on the subject of happiness. Between Gretchen Rubin’s book, The Happiness Project, Dr. Martin Seligman’s book, Authentic Happiness, and the recent Real Simple magazine issue, which featured happiness articles, this topic has occupied my thoughts more than usual.

Happiness comes in many forms. Finding joy in the present as opposed to wishing for the future or the past is one avenue for happiness. I’ve been a working mom from the time our girls were young. The pull between raising a family and juggling work has always existed for me.  What helped me negotiate that challenge was learning to be present wherever I was. When I was with our girls, I was with them 100%. When I was working, I focused on that completely. In addition, I looked for small moments of joy along the way.

On my “Mommy days,” I often had to run errands and play catch-up. The girls always went with me. I treated our outings as opportunities for fun, adventure and bonding. If we were driving along and saw something beautiful or heard something funny, we noticed it together. We’d sing in the car, dance in the supermarket aisles and laugh at silly sights. It made car rides fun, shopping less mundane and helped us find the fun in very simple things. We allowed ourselves happiness breaks.

Now our girls are both in college. They are happy and working very hard. The fall semester is almost over. Our oldest daughter is feeling the time crunch for completing her projects. Sleep is something she’s not getting enough of these days because there’s so much to do. She commented to me that while she normally lives in the present and enjoys each day, right now she’s feeling a little guilty that she’s wishing the semester to be over.

I’ve experienced times that were more intense than others. There were years when my sleep was interrupted by the girls waking me up in the night. During those years, even with the lack of sleep and many demands on my time, I knew that it was temporary. In the blink of an eye, the girls would be all grown-up and self-sufficient. Free time would be something I’d have more of, eventually. I also knew that as challenging as it was, I wanted to enjoy the time, sleep deprived and all, because when it was gone, I’d miss those special years.

Happiness involves finding joy in the little things. Even when life is chaotic, the kids aren’t sleeping, work deadlines are looming and you don’t seem to have any time for yourself, there are small ways to find happy moments. Things like that first sip of morning coffee, hearing your favorite DJ on the radio, seeing gorgeous colors, laughing with your kids, slipping into your warm, cozy bed after a long day. . . these are all causes for mini-celebrations or opportunities to be grateful. It won’t matter that you have challenges if you can find small windows nestled in the chaos to stop and appreciate what’s right in front of you. Happiness options are bountiful if you allow yourself to enjoy them.

What makes you happy?

This fall I offered the Ultimate Organizing Giveaway. The contest was successful on multiple levels. What I loved most were the comments participants wrote on my blog during the giveaway. The wealth of challenges, hopes and dreams posted inspired me to “collect” them. Aside from letting me know their favorite items in the giveaway such as the $50 Container Store gift card or Peter Walsh’s book, It’s All Too Much, they also shared from their hearts. I was deeply moved by what they wrote about.

Four main themes came through in their organizing challenges. They shared their self-talk, whys, desires and actions. Perhaps some of these thoughts will resonate with you.

Self-Talk can be our best friend or most vicious enemy. So much of what we tell ourselves effects our actions. Our internal dialogue can propel us forward or paralyze us to inaction. What do you tell yourself? Is negative self-talk holding you back? Here are some thoughts others shared:

• I “should” be more organized.
• I’m an “organizational disaster.”
• My life is disorganized and is “driving me insane.”
• I am totally disorganized.
• Disorganization is a “flaw” in my character.
• My life is in chaos and I have no chance of digging out.
• I feel paralyzed.

Organizing challenges come in many forms. The source of our disorganization is as varied as each of us. Why do you feel disorganized? Here are some of the reasons people shared:

• I have small kids, so it’s difficult to stay organized.
• My paperwork is a “mess.”
• I’m running my own business and raising a family.
• I have too much stuff.
• I’m in “organizational turmoil” due to health challenges.
• I procrastinate too much.
• It’s not about the stuff but an entire mindset that upsets everything in my life if things aren’t organized.
• There is so much disorganization that I can’t find important documents.
• My spouse is a collector and hoarder.
• I am overwhelmed by the move we made six months ago.

We all have hopes, dreams and desires. We envision how we’d like our lives to be. We imagine what organization and life balance might look and feel like. Those dreams can sustain and propel us forward. These are some of the desires others shared:

• I “crave” organization.
• I want a Professional Organizer in my home full time.
• My “dream goal” is to be organized.
• By reading organizational books and catalogs, I hope that I will become organized through osmosis.
• I want to pare things down.
• I need methods about how to organize.
• I want organizing advice that’s realistic and helpful.
• I need help organizing my stuff and life.
• I am looking for inspiration and motivation.

As we know, dreams and explanations are an important part of the organizing equation, but without being tied to concrete actions, they just remain as thoughts.  I’ve observed that sometimes just talking about getting organized can inspire others to take action. Here are some of the action ideas that people shared:

• I can’t do this alone, so I am hiring a Professional Organizer to help.
• I am focusing on one thing each day to minimize confusion.
• Instead of waiting for the New Year, I’m going to start now.
• I am going to do more purging.
• I have no control over my spouse's disorganization, so I will work on my own areas instead.
• I will take one small step at a time.

Perhaps you identify with some of the statements others have shared about self-talk, whys, desires and actions? Wherever you are on the organizing challenge spectrum, you are not alone. I encourage you to continue the conversation. I’d love to hear more from you! Is your self-talk negative or positive? Why do you feel disorganized? Why do you want to get organized? What action step are you ready to take?

Energizing, satisfying, engaging, introspective, exciting, insightful, smart, current, thoughtful, illuminating, nourishing and colorful. This fall, I found myself standing in front of a wall of words at the Museum of Modern Art in New York City. I was immediately drawn to the bright colors, bold graphics and choice of words. I suppose they represented the promise of what the museum was about to offer.

As I entered the museum, I left the words behind. Some paintings were familiar, like old friends. Other exhibits had things I’d never seen before. It was fun and stimulating to see the different galleries.  When something caught my eye, I stopped. Things that didn’t interest me, I passed by. I was selective.

I started to think about how visiting a museum is very much like how we live our lives. There is so much to choose from. There are many things to experience. It doesn’t all make sense or even interest us. Life can even be overwhelming because of the vast amount of choices, so we search for a comfortable balance. We pursue what “catches our eye.”

For me, I’d rather see a little and really enjoy my time, than try to take in everything and become overloaded. Perhaps it has something to do with pacing or maybe it’s a matter of knowing when to say “no.” Finding that right balance takes effort. Sometimes we have to go overboard in one direction before we can bring ourselves back to a place that feels better.

I often hear comments like, “life is so crazy” or “life is so busy.” It’s as if we allow ourselves to visit every gallery and view every painting. We don’t let ourselves be more selective. For me, I’ve figured out that to truly enjoy my experiences, whether it’s being with family, working with clients, visiting a museum or reading a good book, it’s essential that I allow myself time to focus on those things singularly. I don’t try to pile multiple things on one another. I’m like the kid that doesn’t like her peas and carrots to touch. Give me one thing at a time so I can fully enjoy it without any other distractions. Perhaps that’s a bit extreme. Ultimately, you want to find the right life balance and mix that works for you.

The word wall that promised also delivered. My time spent at the museum was energizing, satisfying and colorful. In fact, the wall of words set the tone for the rest of my day in the city. Each experience was enjoyed, one moment at a time.

When do you feel most balanced? How do you know when you’re out of balance?

Gratitude is something I think about every day. The smallest things like the joy I feel when I see a vibrant color to the larger ones, like being thankful for a loving family. As Thanksgiving arrives this week, gratitude and thankfulness are in my thoughts even more than usual.

My husband and I have always enjoyed having gatherings. There’s nothing quite like bringing positive energy and love into our home. Even before we were married, we hosted our share of events. The tradition has continued over the last 27 years to include birthdays, holidays and impromptu gatherings.

In particular, we love hosting Thanksgiving. Each time it rolls around, we reminisce about two of our classic Thanksgiving adventures.  No matter how many times we recall these stories, we continue to delight in them.

The first Thanksgiving we hosted was shortly after we got married. We invited both sides of the family to our loft in Brooklyn. Steve was very serious about cooking the main dishes (turkey, stuffing and gravy.) He worked for hours, maybe days, preparing the gravy. At the last minute, when it was time to strain the giblets from the liquid, and right as our guests were about it arrive, I heard this big scream coming from the kitchen. I then heard many other explicatives, which I won’t repeat here. It sounded like someone was wounded.

“I’m grateful for the mishaps of life.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Just as his aunt and uncle arrived, Steve poured the gravy into the strainer without a dish below to catch the gravy. As he poured, he realized his “prize” gravy was going right down the drain! Right after that happened, his aunt walked over to check things out and said to him, “Do you think you have enough gravy?” Distressed, Steve turned to me and asked me to call his mother to see if she could bring some extra gravy. Thank goodness for mothers!

It wasn’t funny at the time, but over the years, it’s become one of our favorite stories. It makes us laugh every time think about it. I’m grateful for the mishaps of life. They remind us that we’re not perfect, we are flexible and we can laugh at ourselves.

Fast-forward about five years from our first Thanksgiving. This particular Thanksgiving was the first one we hosted as new parents. Our oldest daughter, now 20, was only six months old at the time. Steve and I remember waking up early to prepare everything. About an hour or so before our family and friends arrived, we commented to one another how smoothly things were going and how not stressed out we were. I suppose at that point we should have knocked on wood for good luck.

As I was preparing the table, I notice a tremendous amount of smoke coming from the kitchen. Steve yelled out, “CALL the Fire Department!” The smoke alarms went off, our daughter started crying and the cat was meowing wildly. One of the turkeys (we cooked two that year) had caught on fire, which in turn made our oven catch fire.

The Fire Department showed up quickly, but Steve had already extinguished the fire. His Boy Scout training has come in handy countless times, including that Thanksgiving! Twenty people were expecting Thanksgiving dinner and we had to continue preparing, even after the “incident.” Once the excitement subsided and the fire was extinguished, we continued cooking and airing out the house. We had to open all the windows and doors to get the smoke out. Our poor guests froze that year and had to wait a long time until the meal was ready.

But in the end, it was another wonderful Thanksgiving providing us with lots of happy memories. We were surrounded by the people we loved most, no one was hurt, we ended up getting a new stove and as a bonus, we ate smoked turkey.

Steve and I had our Thanksgiving planning meeting yesterday. We figured out who was doing what, when we’d do things and reviewed our notes from previous years. And of course, we had to retell our Thanksgiving stories and enjoy a good laugh together. Who knows what surprises will be in store this year? All I do know is that I’m very grateful to have all the people we love most coming to our home to celebrate the holiday of thanks and gratitude.

Do you have any Thanksgiving stories or tales of gratitude? Please share them.