Holiday Guide 101There are tons of wonderful holiday guides, apps, and blog posts available for making your holidays more organized, less stressful, and much happier.  Resources like List PlanIt, Real Simple, and The Happiness Project blog are chock full of ideas and tips. As we have begun the holiday season, I wanted to share some tips I use to keep me organized, sane, and happy during this season of celebration.

Plan – Before doing anything including saying “yes” or “no” to invites, decide how much activity you want to participate in during the holiday season. Do you want to host? Do you want to be a guest? Do you want a combination of each? Look at your calendar. Talk with your family. Stop to review and block out the time you want to devote to the upcoming festivities.

Prep – Now that you’ve done some planning, taking time to prepare for the various events (whether hosting or guesting,) will help keep you calm and make the gatherings more enjoyable. If you’re hosting, set aside some quiet time to review the things you’ll need to buy, cook, order, or get ready. I’m a big fan of list making. For annual events, I use an electronic version of the event and update it each year. If you’re going to be a guest, is there anything you need to bring? If so, add this to your list. Give yourself calendar time to both think and do.

Play – Along with the holidays, comes a lot of doing. This might include food shopping, gift buying, cooking, organizing spaces for guests, or changing schedules and routines. There might be more people, sounds, and activities happening in your home than you’re used to. If you adopt a playful attitude and focus on the joy of doing whether that’s baking apple pies, changing sheets for the umpteenth time, or running to the market for the few ingredients that you forgot on your last trip, you will significantly increase your happiness factor. Practice mindfulness while you’re actively doing. Be present. Enjoy each step.

Pace – It’s so easy to get caught up in the frenzy of the holiday eating, shopping, and cooking. Usually social interaction is increased and personal time is decreased. Remember to pace yourself, paying special attention to self-care. Get enough sleep, watch your caffeine intake, stay hydrated, build in exercise time, eat nutritiously and take short “me-time” breaks before you’re feeling frazzled.

Pause – Shifting our thoughts to a positive state of mind, becomes especially important during the holidays. These are special times when we gather with our loved ones, enjoy wonderful meals, extra time together, and express our gratitude and love for one another. As much as we love our family and friends, so much togetherness or “family dynamics” can add some holiday stress. Think about being gratitude-focused. Let those that you love know how you feel. Time is precious. Life is precious.

I am so grateful for this wonderful community of people that contribute so generously to the blog. I’d love to hear from you. What are your favorite holiday tips or thoughts?

Our stories connect us, speak to our humanity, and let us know we’re not alone. Especially because of the dramatic events these past days, many due to storm Sandy, each of you have stories to share about change, frustration, flexibility, love, gratitude, letting go, and perseverance. I’d love to hear them. How we choose to perceive or respond to a situation can transform sadness into joy, or pain into gratitude. Here are a few perspective shifts that I recently experienced.

Letting Go

Our daughters always shared a small bedroom, which included a matched set of twin-sized captain beds. Since they are now in college and beyond, with one daughter temporarily moved back home, we planned to redesign the space, sell the beds, and replace them with one larger bed. We thought it would make the room more spacious and comfortable for family and friends. The girls encouraged the change. A few days after storm Sandy, the person buying the beds came to pick them up. In preparation, we emptied the room, which created temporary havoc in other areas. We cleaned, purged, organized, and put things back into this once familiar space. I hadn’t anticipated how upset I would feel when the room was disassembled and the beds left the house. The chaos of having things out of place along with the unpredictability of the storm stirred my emotions. The room’s transformation, which included letting go of the beds, marked the end of an era. My eyes welled up as tears of loss streamed down my cheeks. After some grieving, my tears stopped. Warmth enveloped me as I reflected about the positive family memories we had and new times ahead. As I let go to make room for the next stage, I felt lighter.

Gratitude

Within a few days of selling the beds, we realized that due to the storm, one of our large oak trees was ripping out of the earth by it’s roots and leaning dangerously over our house. Our tree guys came to assess the situation. They explained that we weren’t safe in the house, the danger was imminent, and our tree needed to be cut down. They couldn’t do the work right away because they were helping other local families who had more serious problems like trees crushing their homes. They secured the tree temporarily, which held it for two days before they returned to take it down. When I first realized that we were going to lose the tree, I was very sad. I loved this tree. It provided shade, was beautiful to look at, was familiar, and strong. As the days passed, my sadness shifted to gratitude that the tree had been removed before it could harm our family or our home. The sense of loss was replaced with feelings of gratitude.

Love

The day before our tree was removed, I brought my mom back to her home. She stayed with us for about a week because the storm left her without power, heat or phones. Once she settled in, I searched her house gathering up all the flashlights and making sure they were in good working order. My dad passed away in March. He loved his toys and gadgets. I knew that somewhere in his office he must have a multi functional flashlight. During my hunt, I uncovered three of his flashlights. The first was a bright yellow flashlight, which included a siren, a flashing light, and radio. Finding this made me smile because I found one of Dad’s “toys,” and cry because I missed him. I also found a flashlight that worked by shaking it, although, I couldn’t get it to light. Lastly, I found a large red flashlight that had a built in first aid kit. I showed them to my mom and the two of us burst out crying and then began laughing. Although he was gone, he was with us, helping us appreciate the humor and feel his loving presence.

It’s been an emotional time. How about you? What have you noticed during these past days? Have you seen any perspective shifts? Come join the conversation. Share your thoughts and stories.

Sometimes it’s the big things that help us appreciate the little things. How often do we stop to acknowledge the things that we often take for granted like phone service, heat, gas, or hot water? We just expect things to work, to be there when we need them, and to go on with life as we know it.

Many of us, including me have experienced some crazy things in the past few days due to superstorm Sandy, not just loss of services, but also fear, panic, and disorientation. In our town and many others, there are still people without electricity or phone service. You may be one of them. Gas and food are becoming scarce. I'm grateful that our electricity, heat, phone and Internet have all been restored as of today. They came back in varying intervals. I’m starting to see some very positive reports. I hope that all of your services are back soon too.

In the midst of this “storm,” I reminded myself of many things that I was thankful for. It helped me to keep a grateful perspective even in the face of uncertainty, fear, and potential danger. In the last few days, these were some of the things that kept me going. I was grateful for…

The safety of our family and friends

Our house being spared from falling trees

The stillness caused by the blackout

Reading more than usual

The extra time with family

Laughter

Imposed digital break

Cozy blankets

The lights and heat returning after 24 hours of darkness and cold

All the days when we had electricity and warmth

A hot shower

A hot cup of coffee

A hot cup of soup

Flexible, understanding clients

Other people’s resourcefulness

My own resourcefulness

Other people’s strength

My own strength

The brightly colored fall leaves

Living close enough to my Mom to bring her to our house for safety

Finding one working cell phone area in our town

Friends and family that checked in on us

Friends and family we checked in on

Having food to eat

A fuller house than usual

Making “French” chocolate in honor of my aunt’s visit

Phone service returning after four days of being out

All the days we had perfectly good phone service

Answering a ringing phone

Picking up the phone to make a phone call

Internet and email restored after five days of being disconnected

Many days we had of fully operational Internet and email

The messages of hope and good wishes on Twitter, Facebook, and email

Acknowledging that I can’t control everything

Letting go

It’s going to take me time to get back to normal. There are hundreds of emails, tweets, and other messages to respond to. There are calls to return and projects to complete. I’m still catching my breath. I am so grateful to be sitting here today with my hot cup of jasmine green tea, writing, and sharing this post with you. While the storm put me a bit off schedule, we’re here now. Together.

I’ve missed you. I’d love to hear how you’re doing. What’s on your mind? Please take a moment or two to share. At this moment, what are you grateful for?

DeeAnne White, Live the Charmed LifeThis year we’ve enjoyed engaging conversations with the “Ask the Expert” feature on The Other Side of Organized blog. We’ve spoken about success with Lori Deschene, enlisting help with Janet Barclay, motivation with Dr. Shannon Reece, time management with Julie Morgenstern, clutter with Lorie Marrero, letting go with Geralin Thomas, next steps with Yota Schneider, and change with John Ryan. As we shift our focus this month, I’m happy to bring you author, speaker and zestful life seeker, DeeAnne White to share her wisdom about possibilities.

Several years ago, I came across DeeAnne and her wonderful post, “The Elegance of Slow.” She wrote that, “Slow is much more elegant than fast. It’s all in the pure luxury of taking the time.” I’ve been a fan ever since as she reminds us to appreciate life, take chances, and slow down. My deepest gratitude and thanks goes to her for taking the time to join us. Before we begin, here’s more about DeeAnne.

DeeAnne White is a former Fortune50 Executive Vice President, author, speaker, American expatriate and lover of cricket, golf, wine, Jimmy Choo and life, in pursuit of a life beautifully lived. Born in Dallas, she’s been everything from a young wife and stay at home parent, to a single mother beginning her career in Orange County, California, to one of the few women to reach the top tier of the investment distribution industry. DeeAnne began LiveTheCharmedLife and describes herself as “ridiculously curious and who’s never once thought that anything was impossible.” Her book LiveCharmed-The Elegant Guide to Lifestyle Design is due out later this year. You can connect with DeeAnne on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, blog or website.

Linda:  You’re an expert on pursuing a life well and beautifully lived. How can we stay open to possibilities?

DeeAnne:  A few of the best ways to stay open to possibilities are, first, to remember that every day is a new chance to create a life as we’d like it to be, and, second, to allow ourselves to daydream about what that life would look like. Many people believe that once we’ve started on a certain path we must stay on it, and nothing could be further from the truth. We have an endless supply of do-overs, if you will, and only our dreams limit us.

Linda:  The possibilities can seem endless and overwhelming. What strategies help us make choices?

DeeAnne:  It helps if we can remember that not only can we change direction, if we don’t like a choice we’ve made, but to know that we definitely WILL change direction at some point, simply because of changes in our circumstances, age, etc. So the only truly important thing is just getting started somewhere, and then change course, as necessary.

Linda:  Fear can prevent us from pursuing possibilities. What suggestions do you have for letting go and moving forward?

DeeAnne:  There’s a saying in the investment business that people are either motivated by fear or greed, but I’ve come to believe that it’s true in every area of our lives. There will always be those that will be fearless about going after more in life, and there will always be those that are fearful of losing what they have. It’s a great help to accept and embrace who we are, and then to guide ourselves with gentle questions like “What’s the worst that could happen?” Once we’ve answered that, then all we need to do is decide whether we could live with the worst-case scenario. I find the answer is almost always yes. Begin using this technique with something that’s just outside your comfort zone to start building your possibility muscles for larger decisions.

Linda:  How are possibilities and growth connected?

DeeAnne:  We simply cannot grow, if we aren’t able to open ourselves to possibilities, and the changes required to go after those possibilities. I know that it can be very scary, but it’s like a sailor wanting to keep his lovely new sailboat in the safety of a harbor...he or she will never know the thrill of the sea without taking the risks that come along with it.

Linda:  What has been your biggest personal challenge around embracing possibilities?

DeeAnne:  My biggest personal challenge has always been that I love security, and the idea of leaving one thing for another has left me terrified, at times. Even some of the most wonderful promotions that I was offered left me with a sense of fear that I had to find ways to overcome. So you see, all of the answers I’ve given to you are strategies I’ve used myself.

Linda:  Is there anything you’d like to share about possibilities that I haven’t asked?

DeeAnne:  Only that there is a big, wide, beautiful world out there, and I’d encourage anyone not to miss a single second of it!

Thank you, DeeAnne for your hope-filled insights about possibilities and life choices. I love your ideas that we have an “endless supply of do-overs,” and that while change can be scary, growth will not occur unless we are open to possibilities. By extending ourselves beyond our comfort zone, we learn to strenghthen our "possibility muscles." I invite all of you to join DeeAnne and me as we continue the conversation. When you put on your possibilities cap, what do you envision?