We spend a good part of our days thinking about what we have to do, want to do, or do. We spend even more time working on getting those things done. And then there are the moments or snapshots that mark time. Sometimes I can conjure up these images, and other times, I’m reminded of the moments from photos. These treasured photos help me remember both the mundane and significant moments that mark the passage of time.

As a parent, some of the significant family moments are things like the births of our children, first days of school, recitals, birthdays, graduations and all the “big” events in between. We know these moments define change. Then there are the beautiful non-event moments that get captured like your child smiling in delight or holding their Daddy’s hand.

“Our time is partly in the planning, but mostly in the moments that make us stop and realize how precious time is.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

As our youngest daughter just went to her senior prom, you can imagine the volume of photos that were taken of her and her friends. The paparazzi of parents gathered together with their cameras to capture this significant moment in their sons’ and daughters’ lives. Some were teary eyed as they watched their “babies” all grown up in their prom attire. Some talked in disbelief wondering, “Where did the time go?”

Photos were taken and our kids went off. The parents remained with instantaneous digital pictures preserving the memory.

As I looked at the prom photos, I thought about other times of “dressing-up.” Our daughters loved putting on costumes whether is was Halloween or not. They’d appear as ballerinas, fairies, princesses or other characters. Hours were spent selecting costumes and playing pretend. Perhaps things haven’t changed so much. They are still dressing up, but differently from when they were little girls.

Our time is partly in the planning, but mostly in the moments that make us stop and realize how precious time is. So, even if you are in the midst of a frenzy of lists to complete and places to go, take some time to stop and appreciate the moment you are in. It all goes way too fast.

What are you appreciating right now?

As far as arrival time goes, I am usually on time or a little early. I’m also human, so of course there are times when I’m late. One recent rainy spring evening, I found myself in a unique time situation. I actually arrived to my destination an entire hour early. Since I expected to arrive just as the program began, I didn’t have any reading material or projects with me.

There I was alone in an empty auditorium with my cup of earl grey tea. I couldn’t believe that I had a whole hour to just sit and do nothing. So, I sipped, breathed deeply and smiled at this wonderful, unexpected gift. I felt light-hearted and giddy by the idea that there was nothing special for me to do except wait. This was unusual.

After relaxing a while, I pulled out some blank index cards to write about this experience. People began arriving. Just like being at an airport, I enjoyed people watching. Some entered the room quietly, while others came in with a big display. The decibel level in the once quiet room quickly began rising, along with the energy level. There I sat, still smiling, writing and enjoying my time gift.

I noticed that most people were busy doing something like conversing with friends, checking email, texting, talking on their cell phones, or switching their seat to a more desirable location. The room filled with busyness. Everyone around me was active. In fact, I too was no longer just sitting. I was writing.

Then my friends began arriving, so I quickly finished my thoughts, put away my pen, and enjoyed having some face to face conversation before the event began.

The program was a comedy competition that my younger daughter participated in. Teens from all over the county competed in a friendly night of comedy improv. One of the improvs about corn threw me into a fit of almost unstoppable laughter, complete with tears streaming down my face. I love to laugh with complete abandon and these kids provided me with plenty of cause to let loose. It was a great evening between the free time and the abundance of laughter!

What is it about us moms and our super-long, seemingly impossible “to-do” lists? Is it because we’re moms – and we want to have it all and can’t say no - that our lists are long and overflowing? Does the endlessness of your “to do” lists cause you to procrastinate or freeze into inactivity? Or do you accept the ongoing challenge of crossing items off as quickly as you’re adding new ones on? However you approach your lists, I’m guessing that at some point, you have experienced some stress and get overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of what you want and need to accomplish every day.

As a mom of two young ladies, soon to be 18 and 20 years old, I am acutely aware of how these lists’ entries have changed over time. When the girls were babies, the “to do” items were things like “buy diapers, make appointment with pediatrician, research Mommy & Me classes, and prep clothes for work.” As they became toddlers, the “to-dos” included “buy pull-ups, arrange playdates, research pre-schools, and prep clothes for work.” When they entered elementary school, the lists had “buy Princess underpants, prepare lunch boxes, fill out school forms, and prep clothes for work. “

Interestingly, as my girls grew, they followed by example and began making their own lists. Is there a gene for list-making? Some of the items that I had always taken care of, they started doing instead.  As they learned to take responsibility for more things, I simultaneously learned how to delegate. I could comfortably ask them, “Please add this to your list.”

It’s fascinating how my daughters developed their own list-making styles. Cassie, our youngest, is a fan of using lined post-it pads with bulleted items listed sequentially. Allison likes to make her lists in small journals using different pages for specific categories. Her titles vary from “Places I’d Like to Visit,”  “Books I Want to Read,” “Ideas That are Interesting,” or “Things To Do Today.”

For me, I use a variety of list-making tricks. I use sticky notes for the quick, singular thought reminders. I keep a Master list of long-term “get to them one-day” items. I use a daily reminder in my electronic calendar for things that need to be accomplished on a specific day. I use index cards with bulleted lists for weekly reminders. Then there’s the satisfying part of picking up my red marker to cross the items off as they are completed.

These days my “to do” lists have fewer kid-related items on them. There are no more diapers to buy. No more lunchboxes to pack. Instead, those items are replaced with things like “write new mom blog, prepare for the radio interview, and prep coaching sessions.”  Even though my girls are very independent, I still have a few remaining things to handle for them. They are: “review college forms, pick-up prom shoes, and order mini cupcakes for graduation.”

Whether you are a working mom at the “buy diapers” stage or at the “buy extra-long sheets for dorm” stage, just know we’ll always have items popping on and off our lists. Those items tell a story of both our children’s growth and ours. So, the next time you feel overwhelmed with all the things you have on your list, stop, and appreciate having them to do. Before you know it, your children will be grown and off making their own lists.

What types of lists do you make? What works well for you? Share your tips.

The other day I was talking with my brother, Tod. He described to me the 25^th anniversary event he is planning for MIT’s Media Lab. For the celebration, they are creating a 25-hour day full of programs. Aside from this being a clever concept to build an event around, it made me smile at the thought of us actually being able to randomly add hours to the 24-hour day all of us have.

I began thinking about why we wish we could add more hours to our day. Two ideas came to mind. We either feel like we have too little time (as in 24 hours just isn’t enough to accomplish what we want) or we have too much to do. Either way you view it, on most days, many of us feel like we could have or should have done more in the time we had to manage. Thoughts like, “If only I hadn’t wasted so much time surfing the internet,” or “If only I had one more hour to finish this project,” or “If only I didn’t feel so completely overwhelmed with everything I’ve said ‘yes’ to.”

So being that we don’t have the ability to add more hours to our day, what can we do? Even though our commitments vary, it’s essential that we discover our personal balance between work, fun and rest. The mix will vary based on what is on your plate and feels most comfortable for you. But if you only work without any time to relax or have fun, you will quickly become overwhelmed.

The word “overwhelm” is one I hear most often from clients, friends and family. Frankly, while I write and think a lot about life balance, there are times when I too feel overloaded with all the things I want to accomplish or have committed to doing. I know that when I’m feeling this way, it becomes essential to return to one of my basics, which is reconnecting with nature. With spring in full bloom, lately I’ve spent more time by the rivers- walking, sitting, eating, and just being. There is something restorative about water. My mind quiets enough to simply focus on the scenery before me. The “must dos” and “should dos” take a back seat while nature works it magic, bringing me to a calmer, clearer place.

There’s nothing wrong with expecting a lot of yourself. But especially if you do expect a lot, it’s crucial that you also figure out how to rejuvenate yourself. So, whether it’s taking a walk somewhere green, slowly sipping a large iced tea, or doing nothing at all, it’s well worth your time to make time for you to stop, relax and restore.