When you are stuck, how do you figure out the next step? I asked several of my wonderful colleagues (Geralin Thomas, Andrea Sharb, Tracey Foulkes, April Lane Benson, Sue West, Val Sgro, Yota Schneider) to think about this question and share their personal strategies with us. Their fabulous responses are filled with honesty, humor, and creativity. My gratitude goes to each of them for taking the time to reflect, and give us their insightful, encouraging words of wisdom. If you are feeling stuck, perhaps one of these ideas will work for you.

When you are stuck, how do you figure out the next step? . . .

1. Help Another

“When stuck I intentionally and purposefully find someone who needs help and then I help them. Helping someone who needs or wants assistance forces me to think about something other than whatever current challenge I'm dealing with. I've learned that being isolated rarely helps me figure out my next steps and while it's much easier to stay home alone, I've found that being helpful is the antidote to being stuck.”

Geralin Thomas, CPO-CD, Professional Organizer & Organizing Instructor

2. Coach Self

“When I’m stuck, I coach myself, like I’d coach a client. I get curious about my roadblock and what can get me going again. Questions like:  What is really getting in the way of me moving forward? What do I want from the project? What makes the project important to me?  What has worked for me in the past in similar situations? These questions will generally get me beyond stuck.

Andrea Sharb, CPO-CD, ACC, COC, CPO, Professional Organizer & Coach

3. Call Accountability Buddy

“I freak out, and then procrastinate. Get annoyed at myself for procrastinating and start asking why I'm freaking out. It's usually from overwhelm, taking on too much, or being shoved in a direction outside my comfort zone. I then call on an accountability buddy (I have a few), and unpack what I am thinking and feeling. Breathe, then break into my favourite mantra 'absolutely no excuses' - pick myself up and step forward. Success is in the doing, so I might as well just get it done."

Tracey Foulkes, Productivity Specialist 

4. Pause First

“When I'm stuck, the first thing I do is take a pause to clear my head. I might meditate and then go outside (no matter what the weather) and do some kind of physical exercise. Then I'm likely to start making notes or talk to a friend about my stuckness, try to pull it apart, and look closely at just one piece of it. Finally, I carefully set a realistic, measurable goal related to that one piece which continues to melt some of the glue!”

April Lane Benson, Ph.D., Psychologist & Author 

5. Activate Strengths

“I use several strategies, mostly taking advantage of my natural verbal processing. These also compensate for not being able to order steps as well in my head as outside my head. I use a written set of decision-making criteria to filter business ideas through. I talk through the problem aloud to myself, to a colleague or my business coach. I write about where I am stuck. I’ll map out the steps to a process so I can see a logical next step. I’ll research to access my intuition or sometimes to gain confidence. I’ll use strategies from a similar situation simply to gain momentum.” 

Sue West, CPO-CD, COC, CPO, Professional Organizer, Coach, & Author

6. Research, Sleep, or Chew

“It all depends what I'm stuck on. If it requires an answer I can research, I go to the Internet; if I need basic knowledge, I use the children's section of the public library. If it requires judgment, I seek the advice of trusted colleagues, and then I sleep on it. If I'm stuck writing a passage in one of my novels, I pace around, talk to myself, and literally chew on something; somehow the chewing motion unleashes the creative part of my brain.”

Val Sgro, Professional Organizer & Author

7. Be Patient and Open

“Life experience does come in handy. It helps me to remember that I’ve been there, done that before and I came out all right. This knowledge strengthens my resolve and confidence in the fact that, eventually, it will all work out! Invariably though, I have to surrender to the process and allow the answers to come to me, at their proper time! I have to be willing to stay open to the experience of being stuck! This is the greatest challenge . . . doing what’s in front of me while waiting for the fog to lift - when time and circumstance are ripe for me to act!” 

Yota Schneider, Life Transitions Coach

Which strategies resonate with you? While I appreciate and use many of these strategies, the one I focused on this past year was Yota’s. Today marks the one year anniversary of my Dad’s passing. I had to be patient and wait for the “fog to lift” before figuring out next. Sometimes we’re able to force ourselves forward and other times we need that waiting space as we travel through a transition. I’d love to hear from you. Come join the conversation and share your thoughts about being stuck, favorite strategies, or next steps.

El Anatsui, artist“Change is the hallmark of transition.”     – Alexander Levy

Transitions can be prickly as we navigate change. Have you ever experienced that uncomfortable feeling when you’re in the midst of a transition? You don’t feel quite like yourself. It’s like wearing a favorite pair of pants that used to be great and now the fit is off. Are your pants too tight?

Most of us don’t like being uncomfortable. However, trying something new, going in a different direction, or changing in any way will most definitely bring with it those awkward feelings. Let’s get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Let’s accept that it’s part of the change process.

Doubt can also accompany transition and change. This is normal. We are moving into uncharted territory and we aren’t sure about how we’ll manage. If you think back to other times of change, what strengths did you draw upon? What successes did you experience? Access those now. In the interview I did with Judith Kolberg, founder of ICD (formerly NSGCD,) when asked about change strategies for overcoming the fear factor, she said, “My favorite is to draw on their experience. If they are an adult, somewhere in their lifetime they’ve made a big change and survived it.”

Change is a process. You have abundant choices in both your attitude and actions. If your pants are too tight, you get to decide if you’ll keep wearing them or if it’s time for a new pair.

Come join in the conversation and share your ideas. What are your thoughts about change, transition, or those pants that no longer fit?

Judith Kolberg, FileHeadsThe 2013 “Ask the Expert” interviews continue with a dynamic and inspiring group of people! Last month, organizer and coach, Sue West, talked with us about fresh starts. This month, I’m excited to have with us the extraordinary pioneer and innovator in chronic disorganization and the organizing industry, Judith Kolberg, to share her thoughts about change.

Judith and I met in 1995 at the National Association of Professional Organizers (NAPO) conference in Dallas. She was running a panel called “Is This Your Client?” It was the first time I heard anyone talk about chronic disorganization, and immediately identified that most of my clients had similar challenges. Since then Judith and I have engaged in many wonderful conversations about organizing, publishing, family, and even cowboy boots. I’ve always admired her intelligence, warmth, directness, and fabulous sense of humor. I am honored to know her as a friend, mentor, and colleague. My deepest gratitude and thanks goes to Judith for taking the time to join us. Before we begin, here’s more about her.

Judith Kolberg pioneered FileHeads Professional Organizers in 1989. She founded the National Study Group on Chronic Disorganization, the precursor to the Institute for Challenging Disorganization (ICD) and is credited with launching a field of professional organizing dedicated to helping individuals challenged by chronic disorganization. She is an industry-futurist, innovator, and recipient of the industry’s highest honors including the Judith Kolberg Award. Several of the books Judith authored, such as Conquering Chronic Disorganization, are required reading for industry certification programs. Her books have sold over a quarter of million copies. She is a popular speaker and a featured organizer on the “Buried Alive” hoarding series. A native of New York, Judith lives in Atlanta, GA where she takes care of her Mom, sees clients, writes, and publishes. You can connect with Judith on Facebook, organizing or publishing websites, and blog.

Linda Samuels:  You’re a pioneer in the professional organizing industry and an expert on helping others creatively navigate change. What motivates people to change?

Judith Kolberg:  Money, sex, getting someone off our back, desperation – lots of things. In the organizing context a person changes from not-so-organized to more organized usually because they see getting organized as a means to another end. Yes, there is its own reward, but usually they make the effort to change because it will result in a living environment they enjoy being in more and that they want other people to enjoy more. Really, it is that simple.

Linda:  Change can be scary and overwhelming. What strategies can we use to help move past our fears?

Judith:  My favorite is to draw on their experience. If they are an adult, somewhere in their lifetime they’ve made a big a change and survived it. Maybe they moved, ditched a spouse, left a job and started a new career. If people can remember that it was difficult but they made it, that’s helpful to them. If I can help them identify what strengths they used that can be re-used, that’s good too. Are they persistent? Maybe they’re strong decision-makers? Perhaps they are realists? Anything can be leveraged.

Linda:  How can we identify when it’s time for change? Are there change indicators?

Judith:  Change indicators, an interesting word. At the dawn of my 60^th birthday, I realize the life I am living is just not right. It does not suit who I am well enough. I know I could be happier. Lots of changes ahead. I’m not sure if there are indicators so much as there are gaps, inconsistencies, disconnects. For my clients, changing what they are doing organizationally often is associated with other changes or transitions. What’s new that has put the change on the agenda now? I often ask.

Linda:  Do you have a philosophy about change?

Judith:  If you toss a cat gently in the air it may twist and turn slightly but it will land on its feet. That’s the closest I can come.

Linda:  What has been your biggest personal challenge around change?

Judith:  My biggest personal challenge with change is that I tend to wait too long. We do what we need to do when we’re ready, and sometimes to make a change it’s the wrong time, but you do it with your knees knocking.

Thank you, Judith for your insights about change. There are several things you said that resonated with me. I love how you talked about leveraging strengths and prior experiences as a strategy to move past our fears. Then there’s the idea about “knees knocking.” While change can certainly be exciting and energy producing, it can also scare the pants right off of us. However, being able to push past that fear in pursuit of different, as our knees are shaking and heart is palpitating, is often how change and growth is experienced.

I invite all of you to join Judith and me as the conversation continues. We’d love to hear your thoughts about change or anything else you’d like to share. What are you thinking about?

As we know, change is inevitable. Sometimes it just happens without our participation, and other times we proactively seek it out. How do we know that it’s time for a change? How do we know that it’s time to be proactive? What are the clues or change indicators?

There are many, and we experience them in different ways. Noticing the indicators is important because once they are brought to our consciousness, they become the seeds that flourish into motivation and action. 

11 Change Indicators

1.The Boredom – While I’m not an advocate of the need to be constantly entertained, there’s something to be said for being too bored. A little boredom is both healthy and restorative. However, if long stretches of boredom are what you’re regularly experiencing, this could mean that something needs to change.

2. The Spark – Do you remember recently hearing, reading, or discussing an idea that got you jazzed up? Perhaps you had an “ah-ha” moment. Maybe it was something that connected the dots, or something new you could imagine pursuing. Perhaps you are experiencing some positive anticipaton. The energy surge or “spark” that you felt could be change calling you.

3. The Agitation – Are you in a perpetual state of irritation? Everything annoys you. Nothing flows. More of your day is spent angry and agitated than is happy and relaxed. This is a big change indicator. What’s your next step for moving ahead?

4. The Sleeplessness – We need sleep. It renews us. It allows our bodies and minds to relax from the active part of our day. Lack of or interrupted sleep negatively affects us. Sleeping issues can be a major change indicator. What might be the cause?

“The first step for proactive change is noticing the indicators.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

5. The Drama– Have you recently experienced a big life event such as marriage, birth, death, divorce, job loss, or move? Change is inherent in these times of transition, and not all are welcome or anticipated. As a result of these changes, you might feel out of balance. You haven’t adjusted to the new patterns. Feeling out of balance can be a change indicator.

6. The Exhaustion – Are you getting lots of sleep, yet you’re constantly exhausted? Do you have low energy or motivation? Physiological or emotional issues might cause this. Seeking professional help could be beneficial. This is another change indicator.

7. The Numbers – Are you a metrics tracker? Do you pay attention to numbers such as financial investments, banking balances, business statistics, or inventory supplies? Have you noticed unusual trends? Depending upon what you’re observing, the numbers, which are exhibiting a shift, might lead you to making a change.

8. The Plateau – There are times when we hit that wall. We’ve learned all we can from a situation. We’ve seen all there is to see in a place. We feel like the opportunity to learn and grow has leveled off. We’re ready for that next challenge. We might experience this in our careers, a job, or a place we live. Reaching a plateau could make us chase change.

9. The Scale – We all do it. We step on the scale and the pounds keep moving in the upward direction. Maybe our pants are getting a bit too tight. Maybe we run out of breath as we climb a flight of stairs. Physically, we just aren’t feeling quite right. Change is calling.

10. The Environment – How is your physical space? Is it designed and organized in a way to support who you are and what you do? Do you find it difficult to locate what you need? Do you find it challenging to function properly in your environment? When your space isn’t working, you might feel overwhelmed or frustrated. This is another change indicator.

11. The Thoughts – What are you thinking about? Is your mind filled with negative thoughts? Do you find yourself wishing you were somewhere else? Are you having challenges experiencing gratitude, joy, and mindfulness? The restlessness and discontent we can feel internally could be an indicator for change.

A first step for proactive change is noticing the indicators. Once we observe what we’re seeing and feeling, we then can begin to identify next steps. Next might mean, simply acknowledging our feelings. It might mean enlisting help from a professional. Or, it might mean changing what we eat, where we work, or how we live.

What are your change indicators? Are there any ones you’d like to add? Let's open up the conversation. I love hearing your thoughts.