Vacations are precious. Our normal lives get suspended for a time while we unwind and have adventures. These breaks in our routine are essential to help us recharge. I have a special love of beach vacations, which are low-keyed and conducive to relaxing, relaxing and more relaxing.

Isn’t it interesting though that in order to take these breaks, there is quite a lot of organizing that goes into being able to leave? Upon returning from vacation, there seems to be even more items to handle. We do our best to remain as long as possible in that unhurried vacation-mode, even with all the “to dos” calling out to us.

For me, I felt very appreciative for the help my family gave before, during and after our recent summer vacation. In order to get ready, everyone took care of packing their own bags, wrapping up their loose ends, keeping focused on our departure time and leaving the house mentally prepared for our long road trip.

During our vacation, they helped with grocery shopping, meal prep, clean-up, lugged things back and forth to the beach, modeled an appreciation for the here and now, participated in conversations, games, shared in the driving and provided an abundance of great music. All of this help enabled us to have a fun, stress-free time together. It wasn’t one person doing everything. We helped each other and that made our vacation more enjoyable.

Upon returning home, everyone unpacked, helped with laundry and focused on the many things that needed attention. As I write this, numerous things are vying for my energy. I’m mindful of the fact that during vacation, I allowed myself not to do. Now that I’ve returned, I’m working on doing one thing at a time, maintaining some of that vacation-calm and remembering that I don’t have to do everything myself.

What help can you enlist today to make your days less stressful?

Fortunately for us, we have the ability to perform multiple roles. When it comes to “help,” sometimes we are on the giving and other times on the receiving end. In my book, The Other Side of Organized, chapter eight is about enlisting help. Why did I choose to write an entire chapter on this topic? Many individuals are challenged by the organizing piece in their lives. Along with that struggle, they feel uncomfortable asking for help. Through writing, I hope to alleviate some of that conflict by reframing how we think about it.

At first glance, as a parent, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, volunteer, solopreneur, professional organizer and author, I more often view myself in the giving rather than receiving role when it comes to help. But as I examine this more closely, I realize that every time I am the giver of help, in return I receive help in the form of growth, understanding, satisfaction and more.  When I actively enlist help, I get the benefit of another person’s focus, expertise and compassion to assist me in an area I struggle with. When looked at this way, help becomes a two-way street. In the best cases, both parties benefit from the exchange.

You might be organizationally challenged to the degree that it’s having a negative impact on your daily life, your relationships or your job. You feel frustrated because you’ve tried to get organized on your own many times, but are dissatisfied and unsuccessful with your efforts. Perhaps this has been a long-term challenge of months, years or decades. By reaching out for the right type of help from a professional, family member or friend, you will not only be receiving assistance, but you will most likely be helping the other person in exchange. The helper in return may become more compassionate, creative, motivated and inspired. Who knew that asking for help was actually a gift to the other person?

As the summer is nearing its end, much of my time has shifted to helping our youngest daughter organize and prepare for going off to college. We’ve been going through all of her belongings and memorabilia to decide what stays home, gets released or goes with her to school. I am most definitely helping her to organize. But in the process of going through the 18 years of school work, photos, essays, cards, clothes, games, books and more, Cassie is most definitely helping me to prepare for this next phase of my life. She’s giving me the chance to relive some wonderful memories of her growing up, laugh a lot about things I’d forgotten, shed a few tears, enjoy seeing how much she’s grown and assist her mom through this transition.

So, in helping her, my girl is helping me. It’s a beautiful two-way street.

I’d love to hear about your giving and receiving experiences!

What do tooth fairies, working mothers, and fathers have in common? We’re all about the kids, our work is never done, and we keep late hours. Our girls have long ago passed the tooth fairy stage. The jig is up, and they know now that for the many years of visits, Mom and Dad weren’t just the tooth fairy’s assistant, but they were actually the tooth fairy.

In the process of helping our youngest daughter organize and get ready for college we came across some things that brought back memories of those days. Tucked away in one of her drawers was the “tooth fairy pillow.” Each time she lost a tooth, that special pillow would magically appear in the night with her tooth, some money and a limerick tucked into its pocket. When I asked Cassie if she still wanted the pillow, she looked at me in surprise, hugged it and said, “Of course!”

As we organized her room, going through drawers and shelves, we also came across the box of teeth and the famous tooth fairy limericks, which were neatly clipped together. So at this point, I’m guessing that you’re wondering what the heck is a tooth fairy limerick?

In our family, the tradition that my husband invented was that each time our girls lost a tooth, the tooth fairy would not only leave a token amount of money, but would write a limerick that reflected how the tooth was lost. So each of our girls have quite the collection.

The back-story is that Steve and I would wait until they went to sleep. As working parents, this was often a difficult thing to do because by the time they were asleep, we were exhausted. But we were devoted to the tradition. You can imagine trying to be clever at 11pm, midnight, 1am. You get the picture. I’d like to say we collaborated, but mostly, he was the writer and I consulted, laughed or just tried NOT to fall asleep before the writing was done. This was serious parenting business! I remember many silly nights of limerick writing.

Here is one of my favorites-

“On the eve of the millennium

we found

that dear Cassie’s front tooth

came unwound.

She wanted it out,

so she pulled it about,

‘till that tooth popped right out

in her hand.”

Helping our youngest get ready for college is bittersweet. Preparing together involves visiting her past, reviewing her life and getting her ready for the future. When we came across the pillow, teeth and limericks, the three of us stopped while Steve read out loud all the limericks to us. What a beautiful tribute to Cassie, to parenting, to capturing significant moments and to recognizing what letting go is all about. Those limericks honored transitions- the loss of one thing and the moving ahead to something new.

Whether it’s kids loosing teeth, leaving the nest or something else, what transitions are you going through now?

Why is it that we often feel like we’re cheating if we ask for help? Why do we think that we have to or should be able to do everything ourselves? We think that getting help is a sign of weakness. I’m not sure why this happens and am occasionally guilty of feeling this way myself. Over time, I’ve discovered that enlisting help is a great way to learn, minimize frustration and boost our self-esteem.

Let’s look at getting organized. Many of my clients are organizationally challenged and have hired me to help them. At times, they’ve expressed their disappointment or guilt saying things like, “Why can’t I do this myself?” or “What’s wrong with me?” They feel that because others can organize on their own without any help and they can’t, that they have failed, are inadequate or have something intrinsically wrong with them. This simply is not true. None of us are good at everything. Thank goodness we have different skills and talents to share.

Before I published my book, The Other Side of Organized, I knew I needed the help of others with publishing expertise. I hired a book coach, editor, designer and printer. In addition, I sought advice from many other professionals and continue to do so.  I still made mistakes along the way, but having a team of people to help guide and advise me, shortened the learning curve and minimized the severity of the errors. In addition, knowing that I had these professionals with me along the journey didn’t detract from but actually boosted my confidence.

Instead of fighting the desire for support, I embraced the concept of building a team of experts to help me grow and succeed.

So, the next time you find yourself struggling with getting organized or something else, consider reaching out for help. It isn’t cheating. This could be the best choice you make to end your frustration and bring you closer to your goals.

What help would be valuable right now to move you to the next step?