Enlisting Help Isn't Cheating
August 3, 2010 | Updated August 2026
Do you often feel like you’re cheating when you ask for help? Do you think you have to, or should be able to, do everything yourself?
We can think that seeking help is a sign of weakness. I’m not sure why this happens, and I’m occasionally guilty of feeling this way myself.
Over time, I’ve discovered that enlisting help is a great way to learn, reduce frustration, and boost self-esteem.
Value of Enlisting Help
Sixteen years after I first wrote this, I’ve had many more opportunities to experience the value of giving and receiving help—both personally and professionally. My perspective has deepened: asking for help isn’t simply a way to get something done.
The right support can help you:
Feel less alone
See possibilities you might not have noticed on your own
Build confidence
Move forward when you’re stuck
These ideas took on a special meaning as I contributed a chapter on giving and receiving support to The Chronic Disorganization Tapestry, a 2026 book published by the Institute for Challenging Disorganization (ICD).
“Enlisting help is a great way to learn, reduce frustration, and boost self-esteem.”
Barriers To Getting Organized
Let’s look at getting organized. Many of my clients experience organizing challenges and have hired me to help them. At times, they’ve expressed their disappointment or guilt, saying things like, “Why can’t I do this myself?” or “What’s wrong with me?”
They might compare themselves with people who seem to organize easily and think that they’ve failed, are inadequate, or have something intrinsically wrong with them. This simply isn’t true. You are not broken. Comparison isn’t helpful. Focus on your strengths and build systems using that perspective.
Organizing strategies aren’t one-size-fits-all, as each person is unique. To make progress, it’s essential to design organizing strategies that support your needs, the way you think, and the way you process.
What Happened When I Enlisted Help
Before I published my book, The Other Side of Organized, I knew I needed help from others with publishing expertise. I hired a book coach, an editor, a designer, a printer, and a publicist. I also sought advice from other professionals, friends, family, and colleagues.
I still made mistakes along the way, but having a team to guide and advise me shortened the learning curve and lessened the impact. Knowing I had these professionals to support me didn’t diminish my confidence; it actually boosted it.
Instead of fighting the desire for support, I embraced the idea of building a team of experts to help me grow and succeed.
How Can I Help?
The next time you find yourself struggling to get organized or facing another challenge, consider reaching out for help. It isn’t cheating. This could be the best decision you make to end your frustration and bring you closer to your goals.
What help would be valuable right now to move you to the next step?
