What is your relationship to change? Do you love change and readily seek it out? Or do you avoid change at all costs? It may depend on the situation. Your feelings about change are influenced by your capacity at any given moment. When you are stressed, overwhelmed, and with no energy or motivation, your capacity for change is low. However, when you’re excited and ready, even if you don’t have all the facts or steps, you have more capacity to seek changes and new opportunities.

It's important to know where you are and what you need. The outcome won’t be great if you try to make a significant change when you’re sleep-deprived and can’t think straight. At those times, instead of pushing beyond your capacity, it’s best to pull back and support what you need. That might mean more sleep, some quiet, or a walk outside.

When you’re ready to stretch and grow, pushing beyond your capacity will be possible. You can do things you’ve never done. This will require physical and emotional energy and mental toughness to stretch past your comfort zone.

“Your feelings about change are influenced by your capacity at any given moment. ”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Monthly Sharing Retreat

Each month, I participate in a fantastic virtual retreat led by my wonderful friend and Clarity Coach, Yota Schneider. She creates a safe, supportive space for women to gather, meditate, write, and share.

On a recent retreat, the theme was capacity. I wrote this passage in my journal during our free-write after the meditation, which I’m sharing with you. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how intertwined capacity is with your ability for change.

Thoughts About Capacity

One thing is for sure. My mind has the capacity to go on in a bazillion directions thinking about capacity. Knowing that, I will take one of the tangents and go with it.

Milk Bottles

I thought about a bottle. I was filling up a bottle, like those old rectangular glass milk bottles delivered to the back kitchen door when I was a kid. As I filled up this bottle with clear liquid, guess what? There was a point when it was to the top, and then, in a moment, it was spilling over. To full, overflowing, beyond capacity. What a mess!

Conferences

Next thought. I thought about a professional conference I went to. It was jam-packed with three days of learning. Experts spoke about the brain, learning differences, chronic disorganization, and more. The presenters taught us for six to eight hours each day. Between learning and socializing, my brain was too full by the end of the day. I couldn’t think or formulate a coherent sentence. My intake for the night was beyond capacity. I felt like a soaked sponge that couldn’t absorb another drop. I knew it was time to retreat to the quiet of my hotel room.

Flaco

And lastly, there’s Flaco. He is a giant Eurasian owl born in captivity to parents who also were. He lived in New York City’s Central Park Zoo for over a decade. Then, one night, someone broke into his cage, and he escaped. However, because he was born in captivity, Flaco never learned to hunt or fend for himself. He could barely fly. His capacity was contained.

After his escape, incredible things happened. He became a fascination and inspiration to New Yorkers. One man has been documenting Flaco’s adventures this past year. Flaco, who has a six-foot wingspan, can now fly. He’s a fantastic hunter and can be spotted on tops of buildings or park benches. He stretched beyond his capacity and thrived. Who says owls can’t change?

Milk bottles, conferences, and giant owls. Sometimes, we feel limited by our capacity and must stop or retreat. At other times, we feel inspired to soar to new heights.

Knowing and honoring your capacity for both is the kindest gift you can give. Know when it’s necessary to pull back. Know when it’s time to reach beyond.

Flaco the Owl | Late Night with Seth Meyers

Your Capacity for Change

Locate yourself on the change-capacity scale. Is it time to step back or extend?

If you want assistance aligning your capacity with your change goals, I’d love to help. Please email me at linda@ohsoorganized.com, call 914-271-5673, or click here to schedule a Discovery Call. Change is possible, especially with support.

Overflowing. Overwhelming. Is letting go on your radar? How many things are you working on right now? How many hats are you wearing? Are you juggling family, work, and personal time? Are you managing projects, shuttling kids, caring for elders, or experiencing a life transition? Does your plate feel so full that your head is spinning? Is this a constant or temporary state for you?

Have you considered the power and relief of letting go? OK. I know you can’t let go of all your responsibilities and commitments. However…

• Is there simply one thing you can let go of, reschedule, or delegate?

• Is there one thing you can rethink, change perspective, or shift?

• If you did, how would that help?

• Would it reduce stress?

• Would you feel more relaxed?

• Would you be less overwhelmed?

“Is there simply ‘one thing’ you can let go of, reschedule, or delegate?”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

I extended myself the ‘one-thing-let-go’ gift. Instead of writing a longer post this week, I went short like me. I let go of the expectation to write more extensively so I could alleviate some pressure and focus on preparing, hosting, and enjoying our family and friends for Passover.

What one thing can you let go of? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Over 13 years ago, the first blog post I wrote was Waiting for Something. I acknowledged how waiting is part of our daily lives and how we often meet these times with impatience or annoyance. I offered a perspective change. Instead of considering waiting as an inconvenience, what if we treated it as a gift?

While waiting, we have an opportunity for something wonderful to transpire.

• If we consider the waiting or transition time a gift, does that alter your experience?

• What happens when we remain open and available to change?

• Would you extend more love to yourself?

• Would you be more willing to navigate the frustrations and challenges pursuing changes can bring?

Recently, I read a quote that brings another dimension to waiting and change. Trust is an essential aspect of your journey. This encourages a deep belief in trusting yourself, the process of change, and all that’s available on the other side. I offer author Mandy Hale’s perspective to you- “Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming.”

When I work with my virtual organizing clients, we begin with their big why in mind. We clarify what is driving the changes they desire. And why now? Understanding the why is integral to the change process. It provides the anchor and motivation when the process of change becomes challenging.

Clients might find it easy to let go and move forward during one virtual organizing session. They experience the state of flow, where their actions align with their goals, and they feel and acknowledge the progress. At other times, they feel stuck, frustrated, and impatient. This is normal. We lean into trusting the big goal and adjusting the organizing process if needed.

“Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming.”

— Mandy Hale

Change is exciting, but it can also be difficult getting there. With some new tools available, you can trust yourself and the process, embrace the learning along the way, and bask in the joy that comes through your effort.

How do you navigate waiting? What enables you to embrace change? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

This week is Thanksgiving. We’re experiencing a collective array of emotions such as sadness and disappointment because we can’t celebrate in person with our family and friends. Or, on the other end of the spectrum, we might feel joy and resolve that we’ve figured out new ways to mark the holidays. This isn’t a normal holiday season with the pandemic still in full force. I don’t know about you, but as someone who looks forward to our family tradition of hosting a large Thanksgiving gathering, I struggled with not having it this year.

Recently, during a conversation with our oldest daughter, Allison, she said that we’re experiencing a collective cognitive dissonance. What our heart wants and what our mind knows the safe choice to be is in conflict. In that one sentence, she summed up what I was feeling. This push-pull of what I wanted versus what I knew was the right thing to do. I’m not judging. People will decide what “right” means for them. For our family, it meant not having an in-person gathering.

How do we shift from a place of sadness to one where we can enjoy this season in the midst of a pandemic? I have a five ideas to help. I’d love to know what you are experiencing and planning, so please share your stories too.

5 Ways to Enjoy Pandemic-Time Holidays

Express Gratitude

We often refer to this time of year as the season of gratitude. Let’s focus on gratitude for what is, instead of what isn’t. We can feel grateful for the people we love, even if we can’t be physically together. Those who have found ways to safely gather, and we can be grateful for our smaller pods. Gratitude is present in our connections, love, good health, breath, and humanity. There is so much to be grateful for, even during a pandemic. 

Give Permission

My friend and colleague, Yota Schneider, offered a “Home for the Holidays” retreat to create a space for people to process their thoughts and feelings about this atypical holiday season. I signed up, and it was just what I needed. I felt camaraderie with the other attendees as we shared our challenges, ideas, and possibilities. Yota is so wise. She said, “Our capacity for love and celebration cannot be diminished.” She asked us to consider, “Can I give myself permission to celebrate in a new way?”  At that moment, something released within me. I wrote down, “Permission granted.  – Linda S.” That single question helped me open my heart and thoughts, and to gift myself permission to lean into celebration without judgment, doubt, or reservation.

“Our capacity for love and celebration cannot be diminished.”

— Yota Schneider

Get Creative

Maybe you’re like me, and you’re not having a large Thanksgiving gathering this year. My husband and I have hosted this holiday for many years, and it’s one we love and look forward to. To keep everyone safe, we knew it was a no-go. With help from our daughters, we figured out another way of celebrating. We’re having a virtual Thanksgiving meal with our daughters and their partners.

We’ll cook in advance in our own homes. We’ve exchanged one recipe each and will make those basic four recipes and then anything else we want for our meals. We’ll have the same “shared” food and some different dishes too- sausage stuffing from Steve, a special salad from Allison, brown butter cardamom cookies from Cassie, and cranberry sauce from yours truly. Then on Zoom, we’ll eat, talk, toast from our homes, and be together in a safe yet connected way.

We also set up two Zoom calls for the Friday after Thanksgiving to “be together” with our kids, siblings, nieces, and nephews.

Make Favorites

Aside from being with family and friends, Thanksgiving is about the food. I’m salivating just thinking about the smells and tastes of turkey, gravy, stuffing, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, and apple and pumpkin pies. Steve and I realized that we could still make our favorite dishes even if we didn’t have the entire crew over. Why not? Since it will just be the two of us, I thought that I should scale back and only make one pie. But I’m going to lean in, go for it, and make both. It’s not just about eating, but the enjoyment of baking too. We’ll have lots of yummy leftovers.

“The initial sadness for not being able to gather has morphed into positive anticipation for the ways we’ve reimagined the holiday.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO

Anticipate Celebration

The unexpected outcome is that I’m now enjoying texting, emailing, and talking with the family about our virtual get-togethers and plans. Everyone is happy that we’ve found a way to share the love and connect, even from a distance. My heart feels full, like it usually does before, during, and after in-person events. I’m feeling that holiday spirit and extra warmth that comes from spending time with our family. The initial sadness for not being able to gather has morphed into positive anticipation. I’m looking forward to the way we reimagined Thanksgiving this year. 

How are you doing with your holiday planning? Will your holidays be different this year, or the same as usual? What changes have you made? What are you looking forward to? I’d love to hear your thoughts and stories. I invite you to join the conversation.