Let’s face it. Making a change involves taking risks. No matter the size of the risk, you’ll need the courage to dive into unknown waters. Your risk tolerance level will influence how easy or challenging it will be to pursue change. If you are comfortable taking risks, you will more likely welcome change and take necessary actions without too much deliberation. If you are risk-averse, change is still possible, but the journey will be more difficult.

Risk Tolerance Scale

Your response will vary depending on the scenario and type of risk. Consider your risk tolerance level concerning change using a scale from 1 to 10.

1   =   Risk-Averse:  Reluctant to take risks

10 =   Risk-Taker:  Eager to take risks

Imagine the change you want is to have less clutter in your home. Part of that process will include editing and releasing things. Using the Risk Tolerance Scale, you recognize how easily you can let go of junk mail and old newspapers. You give yourself a 10 because you can recycle them without much thought. However, when it comes to mementos, you struggle to make decisions because of your emotional attachments. You feel a sense of loss when letting go of things from the past, and give yourself a 2.

Preparing for Change

There are a few ways to facilitate change. Using the example above, refer to the Risk Tolerance Scale to identify the areas that feel less risky to work on, like junk mail and newspapers. As you build confidence and progress in those areas, you’re preparing to tackle the more challenging things next.

Another idea, which is especially helpful in risk-averse scenarios, is to ask the question,

What risk are you happy you took?

Revisiting risks you handled in the past that had successful outcomes will help build confidence in taking new risks and making changes. Invest time in remembering.

“Making a change involves taking risks.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

Taking Risks in Pursuit of Change

There’s no question that when we pursue change, letting go occurs. This can include physical stuff, places, people, or ideas. During a recent virtual organizing session, my client shared something while gently releasing a category of papers from the past. It spoke to one of the benefits of embracing risk in pursuit of change and was so moving. She said,

“I’m letting go of part of my life that is no longer part of my life.”

What an insightful recognition that in moving forward and embracing change, you can let go of those things that no longer have a place in your present.

How does your risk tolerance level influence the changes you seek? In what ways have you noticed a connection? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

Letting go can be challenging, especially when we have strong emotional attachments to our things. You might wonder why you have to let go? You don’t. You always have a choice. However, there are pivotal moments in our lives when letting go is necessary and you’re struggling. Perhaps you are in the midst of a significant life change like moving or rightsizing. Maybe you lost a loved one and are responsible for editing and dispossessing their things. Or, perhaps you are overwhelmed with a mountain of belongings that no longer deserve physical or mental space in your life. When we combine emotional transitions with a propensity for strong attachments to our stuff, letting go can be difficult.

Minimalist Leo Babauta wrote something, which resonated with me. He referred to “the skill of letting go.”  All skills require practice. His description is infused with hope. It suggests that even if you are struggling with letting go, you can practice and improve. This is something I’ve experienced with my clients. The more they work at letting go, the less challenging it becomes.

4 Ways to Let Go of Things When Emotional Attachments are Powerful

1. Exercise Letting Go Muscles

I’ve always perceived letting go as a muscle that needs to be exercised like other muscles. However, we wouldn’t start lifting with a 100 lb. weight. We’d start small, maybe with a five-pounder, and build from there. This thought process is similar to letting go of the things we’re attached to. Exercise your letting go muscles by starting with the “lighter-weight” possessions like clothing or junk mail. Get a letting go rhythm established and work your way to the “heavier-weight” items that you feel more emotionally connected. Like most of us starting an exercise routine, it’s helpful to have an accountability partner or trainer. For help exercising your letting go muscles, hire a professional organizer like me, or work with a trusted friend or family member. It can make all the difference.

2. Normalize Emotional Attachments

It is prevalent, especially with people challenged by disorganization, to have strong emotional attachments to things. When attachments are heightened, identify and display your most valued treasures, set boundaries around what “enough” means, and use physical boundary parameters like a box or closet size. For items that get released, make the “homes” they go meaningful and that the places or people they are donated or given to will appreciate them. All of these things will make letting go easier to process.

“Letting go can be challenging, especially when we have strong emotional attachments to our things.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

3. Incentivize Letting Go

When we invite people over for a small gathering (tiny these days because of the pandemic,) what happens? Most of us become motivated to make our home guest-ready. This can include cleaning, decluttering, and letting go. Establishing a manufactured date can boost incentive for getting your home “good enough” for your company. Consider increasing the frequency of invitations to friends and family (using COVID safety protocols) as a dual incentive- more socializing time and increased opportunities to sort, edit, organize, and let go.

4. Minimize Kinesthetic Sympathy

When we physically touch things, it can increase our emotional attachment to them. This is the premise of kinesthetic sympathy. If you can, work with someone who can physically hold up the items for you while selecting what to keep or release. Putting physical distance and touch between you and the object can make decision-making more manageable. Physical space decreases emotional attachment and helps distinguish what is most treasured from the things that are no longer needed.

Do you or someone you know feel challenged with letting go? Do emotional attachments make it harder to let go? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.