This coming week is Thanksgiving. Are you ready? I’m not, but I will be by the time people arrive. I’m pacing myself. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. Sure. I love preparing and eating yummy foods like cranberry sauce, turkey, sweet potatoes, and pumpkin pie. As delicious as those foods are, I am most grateful for having our family and friends bring their warm, loving energy into our home. I can’t wait to welcome everyone!

Due to the pandemic, we didn’t have a big group (or any group) for the past few Thanksgivings. But this year, my husband and I are preparing for 24 guests. Full disclosure. After a few years off, I feel a bit out of practice. How are you feeling about hosting or attending a gathering? Are you nervous, anxious, or excited?

As I round the event week corner, I realize there are several things I need to acknowledge and prepare so I will be and feel ready. I hope these ideas will help you too.

5 Ways to Prepare Your Head, Heart, & Home for Thanksgiving

1. Let Go

A lot of things are happening right now for me. We’re upgrading our electricity at home, working on fixes for my sluggish computer, creating a new workshop, working with organizing clients, and thinking about Thanksgiving prep. Guess what? Especially with the disruptions in my environment from the renovation and computer challenges, my mental energy is low. As humans, we often find ourselves juggling multiple things. Does that feel familiar?

Right now, the best I can do is to let go. I’m not talking about ball-dropping. Instead, I’m referring to slightly lowering the expectation bar and not trying to control everything. That means- responding to emails in an appropriate but not immediate timeframe, suspending the worry loop, not scheduling more things this week, and not trying to do everything myself. My mantra these days is, “It’s going to be OK.”

What can you let go of?

2. Take Care

As things have gotten more hectic, I’ve noticed that some of the great habits I built this year have slipped. I still walk, but those 10,000 steps a day are more elusive to hit. My goal to only eat a sweet treat once or twice weekly has been broken. Don’t judge. Instead of getting mad at myself, I’m extending some grace and focusing on the self-care pieces I am doing.

These include meditating daily, logging my food, getting adequate sleep, drinking enough liquid, eating healthy food, journaling, and staying in touch with family and friends.

I recognize there will be time to refocus on resetting the good habits I’ve let slide. But now, I’m offering myself a gentler perspective. I’m doing what I can while factoring my extra stress. My reminder is, “Be kind to yourself.”

3. Work the Lists

Are you a list maker? I am. Lists provide a great source of relief because they help me stay focused on what’s most important, provide a road map to organize a big event or project, and give me satisfaction (yay, endorphin ping!) when I cross an item off. Done feels great!

While I haven’t accomplished most of my Thanksgiving tasks yet, I updated my three lists to help me organize for the week. Reviewing and updating was confidence-boosting. My lists include:

• Thanksgiving List – High-level plan including guests, what’s being served, who’s bringing what, and tasks.

• Thanksgiving Shopping List – Details the dates, stores to shop, and specific items to purchase.

• Thanksgiving To Do Plan – Organizes tasks by day. For example, today includes updating Thanksgiving lists (done,) writing a blog post (will be done by the time you’re reading this,) and assessing paper goods.

Talking about working the lists, my husband and I have been tag-teaming it for decades. We’ve hosted hundreds of gatherings and events. Guess what? Steve has his own lists, which are more detailed than mine. Do you prefer sticky notes organized on a wall, electronic lists, bullet journals, or lined notebook paper? What’s important is creating an effective way to track and organize your tasks. Use what works for you.

What list-making method do you like?

“It’s going to be OK.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVOP™

4. Ask for Help

Thank goodness we are in this world together. It’s important to acknowledge when you need help. For instance, as much as I’d love to rewire our house myself (not really), it’s not my skill set. I am grateful for our electrician, who is the expert and knows how to get this done. With my computer, I tried using Apple support. But after two frustrating weeks of troubleshooting with no success, I finally hired an onsite tech person to diagnose and fix the problems. My computer runs better and faster, and I have concrete next steps. In addition, I have a complete understanding of what was going on.

When it comes to Thanksgiving, Steve and I do most of the prep work. However, there are many opportunities to enlist help. I’m so grateful our kids are arriving early to help with table set-up, cooking, errands, and more. Some guests have offered to bring food, which I gratefully accept. On the day of, others will offer to set up food, clear dishes, refill the ice bucket, serve food, or move furniture around. I won’t be shy about asking for or accepting help. It takes a village, folks.

What help do you need now?

5. Feel the Joy

Laughter, love, and smiling faces. Hugs, conversations, and unforgettable moments. Getting caught up in the stress and pressure of doing and preparing is so easy. While it will take focus and effort to create our Thanksgiving gathering, I don’t want to get so stressed out that I miss the joy of being with loved ones. I am committed to finding all the joy opportunities- baking pies, setting the table, sweeping the front path, hugging my loved ones, gathering around the table for a meal, watching people enjoy each other’s company, and feeling a house full of love.

What joyful moments are you anticipating?

From my heart to yours, I wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving. What can you do today to reduce stress and increase joy? Which ideas resonate with you? I’d love to hear your thoughts. I invite you to join the conversation.

We’re in the midst of the holiday season. Do you feel like a juggler in a circus? Between planning or attending gatherings, keeping your family fed, helping your kids or aging parents, and completing your work deadlines, your time is in high demand. Add to that, preparing for visitors coming and going, selecting and wrapping gifts, and making time for some self-care (yes, self-care…I’m talking to you) it’s a lot. Seriously. How many balls are you juggling at once? How do you navigate the many roles and responsibilities you have? There is a delicate nature to finding a doable work-life balance. Many of you will probably agree that the ‘right’ balance is a constantly moving target.

When my balance is off, I look carefully at my commitments and evaluate what change is needed. Have I said “yes” too often? Have I said “yes” to things that are nourishing and energizing? One of the best decisions and yeses I made a year ago was to Marcy Stoudt, CEO of Revel Coach and Founder of The Executive Mom Nest. This visionary Executive Coach and mother of three launched The Executive Mom Nest, or The Nest, as we affectionately call it. Marcy created a team of vetted Advisors from diverse yet complementary industries, including marketing, finance, design, wellness, life and career coaching, travel, and organization. The team supports, coaches, and mentors moms navigating career, family, and self. I’m thrilled that Marcy invited me to join her team as the Professional Organizer Advisor.

For a better understanding of work-life balance, I immediately thought about these insightful Nest Advisors and their collective wisdom. We meet regularly, and I always learn so much from them. I reached out to several colleagues, Marcy Stoudt, Neela Asaadi, Lucy Carlisle, Lana Kitcher, Petra Krebbs, Alison Nissen, and Becky Roth. I asked them- What is one strategy you use to restore your work-life balance?

Their responses are philosophical, practical, personal, and inspiring. My deepest gratitude goes out to them for sharing their hearts, experience, and honesty with us.

What is one strategy you use to restore your work-life balance?

1. Balance through Self-Care

"One constant that every single human being has is time, and we have the same amount of it. What we choose to do with it is our choice. The secret to any success story is moderation and living in harmony with yourself. If something doesn't go as planned, learn from it, don't judge it. If you indulge, enjoy it, and get back on track later! If you overworked yourself, give yourself a well-deserved rest. 

Strive to keep yourself grounded through fulfilling practices and rituals that fuel your soul. Morning rituals are personally my favorite way to set myself up for success, in addition to a delicious night's sleep to restore. Spend time investing in yourself. After all, it is the greatest gift you could give so you can show up as the best version of yourself for everyone around you."

Neela Asaadi – Lifestyle Designer, Holistic Health Coach, Creative & Brand Director

2. Balance through Less Negative Self-Talk

“I get control of my negative self-talk. I'm a busy working mom. I'm proud of what I do. But, when I'm feeling overwhelmed, it's rarely because I am doing too much. It is almost always due to my mental chatter obsessing over my lack of time. I lose motivation, focus, and clarity when I have negative thoughts. If you are seeking work/life balance, start with the root cause: negative self-talk. When you control your thoughts, you control your day.”

Marcy Stoudt – CEO of Revel Coach, Founder of The Executive Mom Nest

3. Balance through Work Satisfaction

“Find a job that you love. Your career doesn't have to be (and shouldn't be) constraining. If you hate what you do for work, it will inevitably seep into your personal life. When you find time for travel, self-care, or family time, work might be that dark cloud that stays over you even when you are trying to enjoy yourself. Having a job that I am so passionate about has brought me work-life balance in unexpected ways. When I unplug, I feel deserving, and when I get back to work, I feel excited and invigorated.”

Lucy Carlisle – Marketing

“When life is humming along beautifully, we rarely think about balance.”

— Linda Samuels, CPO-CD®, CVPO™

4. Balance through Reflection

“When I think of balance, I envision two bowls dangling from a stick, delicately positioned to be even. Life doesn't work like that. Instead, I find harmony in my life through reflection, joy, and growth. If I dread an activity, I ask myself what purpose it serves. If it’s a class I know will help me professionally, I can look ahead to the end date and envision the success it will bring at a future date. If, however, it’s a toxic relationship with something such as junk food, I will replace the interactions with something that brings me joy, like giving myself a few extra minutes to read a novel.”

Alison Nissen, DTM – Story Coach, Blogger, Speaker

5. Balance through Healthy Boundaries

“When I think of work/life balance, I think of seasons. I don’t believe there is a perfect balance to life because some seasons require more work, and some require more of life. What has helped me feel restored in each season is applying healthy boundaries. No matter the season, I keep within boundaries that align with my values, purpose, and goals. Should a season push up against those boundaries, I can adjust accordingly. When we know who we are and where we are going, then there is peace no matter the season.”

Petra Krebbs – Strengths Strategist™, Jon Gordon Certified Speaker & Trainer, Certified Gallup Strengths Coach

6. Balance through Energy Management

“A major way to restore my work/life balance is to manage my energy each workweek. When I break down my goals/tasks weekly, it is achievable. For example, I view the week as a pizza pie (yum) and try to eat one slice daily, so by the end of each day, I feel energized and have accomplished my daily tasks. Sure, there are weeks I’m planning special events or need extra time to cross the task of the list. By checking in on my energy rhythm, I usually feel less drained. Are you eating your slice daily or the entire pizza pie by Wednesday? Check yourself daily to understand your energy as it will balance your career and life goals.”

Becky Roth, MSW, LMSW – Certified Professional Coach, Career Coach, Speaker

7. Balance through Frequent Assessment

“When I'm feeling frustrated about my day, I can tell that it's time for me to restore balance. Restoring balance is a practice and needs to be assessed regularly. I have a three-step process for bringing back balance and suggest making time for this routine at least once a quarter.

1) Meditate – First, I need to calm myself down and take a moment to breathe and clear my head.

2) Process – Second, I need to make space for myself and process what makes me feel frustrated or overwhelmed. This is a great opportunity to go to my favorite cafe with a notebook and journal on the question.

3) Review - Finally, I review my calendar. I reevaluate everything on my schedule - declining meetings or removing responsibilities that no longer serve me. It's also helpful to look ahead and block some time in the future for myself, knowing how overwhelmed I'm feeling now.”

Lana Kitcher – Productivity & Efficiency Coach

When life is humming along beautifully, we rarely think about balance. However, when things start going sideways, we notice. Awareness is essential for change. There are many ways to restore work-life balance. My colleagues shared their favorite strategies with you.

Which ideas resonate most? What helps you create a healthy work-life balance? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Come join the conversation!

Dan Thurmon "Ask the Expert" interview about Life BalanceWe’ve had an exciting year of guests join us for the “Ask the Expert” interview series. We’ve given you a venue to connect with industry thought leaders and the opportunity to participate in inspiring conversations. This year we’ve spoken with Dr. Howard Gardner about being wonderfully human, Jane Pollak about possibility thinking, Dorothy Breininger about success, Dr. April Lane Benson about enlisting help, Leslie Josel about motivation, David Allen about time management, Peter Walsh about clutter, Sheila Delson about letting go, Laura Berman Fortgang about next steps, Judith Kolberg about change, and Sue West about fresh starts. To complete the year, I’m thrilled to bring you speaker, author, and coach, Dan Thurmon, to share his insights about life balance.

I’m a big Dan Thurmon fan! I’ve attended hundreds of presentations on a wide range of topics. Dan is one of the most unique, charming, and energy-filled presenters I’ve ever seen. I’ve had the pleasure of hearing him speak and perform twice at NAPO conferences as he motivated, enlightened, and persuaded us all while juggling large objects, tumbling through the air, and riding tall unicycles. Dynamic doesn’t begin to describe Dan! If you ever have the opportunity to hear him...GO! My gratitude goes to Dan for juggling his schedule and taking the time to join us. Before we begin, here’s more about him.

Dan Thurmon is the author of two books, Off Balance on Purpose and Success in Action, a renowned speaker, and a recognized expert in delivering peak performances – on stage and in the workplace. As president of Motivation Works, Inc., he has worked with hundreds of clients and delivered thousands of presentations worldwide. Dan helps organizations and individuals implement action plans and move confidently through transitions. You can connect with Dan on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, blog or website.

Linda Samuels:  People long for balance. I’ve heard you say that while that’s “intriguing and desirable,” it’s also “completely unrealistic.” Can you share more about that?

Dan Thurmon:  Life is fluid and ever changing, so we cannot attain “perfect balance.” Balance should not be a goal but rather a skill. We “balance” competing demands for time, energy and action. We make decisions and adjustments to help improve our connection to what matters most in life. But our day-to-day experience is and will always be “off balance.” And that’s a good thing! You must be “off balance” in order to learn, grow, and contribute. That’s why I advocate living Off Balance On Purpose. This means that you own your circumstances, initiate changes, and act deliberately, not reactively. Also, we are more effective and engaged when our actions and lives are infused with purpose and meaning.

Linda:  Aside from being a world-class speaker, coach, and author, you are also a consummate performer and juggler. You use juggling concepts to help your audiences understand your message. What is your favorite juggling analogy about life balance?

Dan:  Well thank you! Juggling is a fantastic metaphor that teaches us, among other lessons, that we should look for “patterns” that connect the objects – or, our objectives. Instead of trying to isolate aspects of your life, look for ways to integrate them into a cohesive “pattern of action.” The other analogy involves riding a six-foot-tall unicycle as I demonstrate that, in order to make forward progress, you must be off balance, leaning into the change and uncertainty. It’s scary, but also exhilarating, as you are harnessing momentum for change!

Linda:  What strategies are useful when we’re feeling overwhelmed and pulled in too many directions?

Dan:  First, seek to clarify your purpose. What are you really trying to accomplish, and why is it important? And I don’t have to tell you that being organized is essential to staying in control. I believe it starts with organizing your thinking instead of being constantly redirected by the next “urgent” task. Also, I teach people how to create and strengthen “lifelines” between the aspects of life that matter most: Work, Relationships, Health, Spiritual Growth, and Personal Interests. If you view these “five spheres” as competing with one another, you will fight a losing battle. When you see them as integrated or blended into a “pattern,” however, you begin to see how they can support one another and work in harmony.

Linda:  What has been your toughest personal life balance challenge?

Dan:  As a husband and father of two children (ages 14 and 10), it is a challenge when my schedule takes me on the road for days at a time. But my wife and I have worked over the years to strengthen the “lifelines” that keep us connected. Sometimes I travel with my whole family, or with one of my kids. We often talk about the places I am visiting and the clients I work with. I’ve also used both of my kids, Eddie and Maggie, in my presentations. That way they truly understand what I do and we stay more connected, even when we are apart. And of course, I schedule family time at home to be sure they know how much they mean to me.

Linda:  What is your most surprising discovery about being “off balance?”

Dan:  When you develop a comfort with uncertainty, you often find new, fantastic opportunities that you would have otherwise missed completely. Life is exciting and ever changing, and when you find the “flow” of life and are able to engage its power, like a surfer atop a breaking wave, you will meet people, go places, and serve others in unexpected, wonderful ways.

Linda:  Is there anything you’d like to share about life balance that I haven’t asked?

Dan:  We’ve been told by well-intentioned experts that should we one day achieve a “balanced life,” we will be happier. But life is not a hypothetical future. It’s an undeniable present! And when you embrace uncertainty and choose to live Off Balance On Purpose, you will begin to experience greater happiness and control right where you are.

Thank you, Dan for sharing your wisdom about balance, or more accurately, living purposely off balance. So many of your ideas resonate with me from reframing balance not as a goal, but a skill, to acting deliberately instead of reactively, to developing a comfort with uncertainty, to leaning into change. I love your focus about now being, the “undeniable present,” rather than a “hypothetical future.” I could go on and on. But instead, let me open up the conversation to all of you.

I invite you to join Dan and me. Come share your thoughts about life balance. Is it illusive? What does balance look like to you? Have ideas sparked a perspective shift?

In the last several months, I’ve been reading a lot on the subject of happiness. Between Gretchen Rubin’s book, The Happiness Project, Dr. Martin Seligman’s book, Authentic Happiness, and the recent Real Simple magazine issue, which featured happiness articles, this topic has occupied my thoughts more than usual.

Happiness comes in many forms. Finding joy in the present as opposed to wishing for the future or the past is one avenue for happiness. I’ve been a working mom from the time our girls were young. The pull between raising a family and juggling work has always existed for me.  What helped me negotiate that challenge was learning to be present wherever I was. When I was with our girls, I was with them 100%. When I was working, I focused on that completely. In addition, I looked for small moments of joy along the way.

On my “Mommy days,” I often had to run errands and play catch-up. The girls always went with me. I treated our outings as opportunities for fun, adventure and bonding. If we were driving along and saw something beautiful or heard something funny, we noticed it together. We’d sing in the car, dance in the supermarket aisles and laugh at silly sights. It made car rides fun, shopping less mundane and helped us find the fun in very simple things. We allowed ourselves happiness breaks.

Now our girls are both in college. They are happy and working very hard. The fall semester is almost over. Our oldest daughter is feeling the time crunch for completing her projects. Sleep is something she’s not getting enough of these days because there’s so much to do. She commented to me that while she normally lives in the present and enjoys each day, right now she’s feeling a little guilty that she’s wishing the semester to be over.

I’ve experienced times that were more intense than others. There were years when my sleep was interrupted by the girls waking me up in the night. During those years, even with the lack of sleep and many demands on my time, I knew that it was temporary. In the blink of an eye, the girls would be all grown-up and self-sufficient. Free time would be something I’d have more of, eventually. I also knew that as challenging as it was, I wanted to enjoy the time, sleep deprived and all, because when it was gone, I’d miss those special years.

Happiness involves finding joy in the little things. Even when life is chaotic, the kids aren’t sleeping, work deadlines are looming and you don’t seem to have any time for yourself, there are small ways to find happy moments. Things like that first sip of morning coffee, hearing your favorite DJ on the radio, seeing gorgeous colors, laughing with your kids, slipping into your warm, cozy bed after a long day. . . these are all causes for mini-celebrations or opportunities to be grateful. It won’t matter that you have challenges if you can find small windows nestled in the chaos to stop and appreciate what’s right in front of you. Happiness options are bountiful if you allow yourself to enjoy them.

What makes you happy?